You never know what it’s going to be that will trip that “trigger.” Even in “vanilla” sex, there are certain motions, activities or thoughts that turn a person on, get them going, get them off. It might the way he pulls your nipples, or a certain image that pops into your head right at the end, or thrusting deep and long, or maybe a certain toy. Sometimes it’s the way a person puts their hands on your hips, or the slide of her mouth along your neck, a hand in your hair… I had a lover that liked to have his nipples twisted, really hard, right as he was reaching his climax. It was that that would tip him over every time. For me, it’s often just an image, or at times a word (for awhile just the word “fuck” would do it for me.) And to get me started? Rope does it every time. The slide of it gliding against my skin, the feel of his hands placing me just so…
For my ex, it was knots. Yep, you read that right—knots, not rope—that did it for him. As I mentioned earlier, I had given him a list of websites when we first started on this journey. He looked at them, read a lot of information, and was pretty dubious about a lot of stuff he read.
“I don’t want to hit you,” he said, “or hurt you.” He didn’t like the “trappings” of BDSM, the leather and chains, gags, whips, cuffs and attitude. He didn’t want to boss me around or tell me what to wear, he didn’t want to control me or to treat me like a whore or a child, he wasn’t really interested in spanking, beating, slapping or dominating me physically, and those were the things that BDSM represented to him, and the things he saw people doing to each other. He didn’t see how any of those things could be considered erotic.
Then he looked at the rope bondage website I had listed, and everything changed. It wasn’t so much the rope itself, though, or the bondage, it was the knots. Their intricacy and beauty. I swear I saw the “click” in his eyes as he turned to face me from the computer screen on the afternoon he found the site.
“Come here,” he said, and took my arm to lead me into the spare bedroom. He was a fly fisherman, and all his ties and implements were there. Including a length of nylon rope. Pulling me around in front of him, he placed my wrists together and, with infinite care and precision, tied them together with one of the ties he had just been looking at on the computer screen. He held my hands there, bound, between his own for a long moment, staring down at them, and then, slowly, he raised them above my head and held them there with one hand. The other he ran slowly over my body, touching me as if he had never done so before.
I’d never had rope on me before, but I was wet from the moment I’d felt its silken slide on my skin, from the moment he’d taken my wrists between his and held me there, from the moment I’d felt control slip from me to him. And I saw the bulge in his jeans, heard his sharp, quickened breathing, saw the heat in his gaze as he looked at me. And when he pushed me back against the table, spread my legs with his hand and shoved his fingers, roughly, into me, something he had always done in a gentle, almost tentative way before, I knew a corner had been turned. He had found his “trigger.”
He kissed me, roughly, bending me back and finger-fucking me until I was moaning and twisting beneath his hands as he held my wrists above my head and held me captive. A moment later he was pushing me down to the floor, and, using another length of rope, tied my hands off to the leg of the table. Then he ripped his jeans down, and without even undressing fully, threw himself on me, pushing into my wet, open body and fucking me with a fierceness he never had before. I came, explosively, almost at the same moment as he did, both of us panting, thrusting, crazy with lust and heat and excitement.
Later, when we could breathe again, he looked over at me where I lay next to him on the floor, my hands still secured above my head.
“Oh yeah,” he said. “This could work.”
And that was the beginning.
do you by chance still have that rope/knot website? I’ve been trying to find a good “how to” for knots online and have had limited success. Like your ex I also love the intricacy of the knots and the rope and the art form itself.
Thanks in advance!
You know I was actually trying to remember so I could link to it for the article, but for the life of me, I can’t. It was actually by a guy that passed away, either right after we found the site or just before. I know it was up for awhile “in memory” but may have been taken down by now.
I’m sorry.
Jade
Jade´s last blog ..Anatomy of an Orgasm
That’s SO true! My sub/boyfriend brought up the idea of getting a straight razor to shave with a few days ago. And now all I can think about is shaving him with that razor. It’s crazy how something can just strike you like that!
I’ve been looking at things about rope bondage and I have been craving the feeling of it on my skin as well. I really can’t wait, I want to practice on my partner and have him practice on me. I think this is what I am stuck on right now as my trigger. Just thinking about it gets me going. I also have images or words pop into my head sometimes that helps to turn me on or get me off in the midst of loving. Great article, I will have to post a link to it on my blog!
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ooo..”knotty”..someone had to say it!
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