So I have been presented with the challenge to write an article about the ethics of D/s within the boundaries of Paganism/Wicca. I spent quite some time in a rather annoying head space with a nice side of writer’s block. I posed the question to one of my BDSM groups online and got some rather varied answers ranging from, “I do not follow the wiccan reede” to “ I don’t believe that D/s goes against the reede”. For those who do not know what the reede is, it is an outline of the ethics of the religion. The bit in question is “An it harm none, do as ye will”. Now this is a spot of contention for some of the non-kink friendly Wiccans I know. They do not believe that you can abide by this notion and practice BDSM. I disagree, because I feel that the reede refers to harming someone against their will or without their consent, and since one of the biggest tenants of BDSM is that all activities are to be consensual, then this is well within the realms of the reede.
With permission from a gal on Fetlife, I am going to share one person’s opinion here.
Veronic4fun says “I am Wiccan and I don’t believe that “An it harm none, do what ye will” is violated when the activities between consenting adults results in what others may call harm. It isn’t harm if it is consenting. In fact, I know many Wiccans who are into the lifestyle and thoroughly enjoy BDSM. I don’t believe it has anything to do with defining harm. Harm means to hurt or damage. It is really a pretty simple definition. However, you are not harming someone who is deriving pleasure from the action. I see no hypocrisy here.”
Others have stated that there is a large difference between hurt and harm. While others still addressed control vs abuse. Most of the opinions I gathered agreed that BDSM can live quite easily within the wiccan world. I actually was unable to get anyone to pose an argument to what I was saying here in this article. No one seemed to have a varying opinion in the groups I spoke to, then again I wasn’t really able to get one of my non-kink friendly friends to talk to me on the subject.
I am in agreement here, as obviously stated above. I believe that what we do is well within the boundaries of consent and free will. I have really only addressed the issue of Sadism and Masochism, and not so much the issue of D/s or M/s relationships, but again, in this situation no one’s free will is actually being violated. Therefore, in my opinion it is also well within the realm of the Reede.
I firmly believe that these two kids play very well together on the playground of ethics. I know that BDSM isn’t for everyone and neither is the Reede, but I do feel that there are rules in both that we could all stand to live by. I mean who can’t agree with being good to one another? Doing things within the realm of consent only?
Stay safe friends.
Joe
More properly “Do what thou will”. The distinction and the history are important.
The rede is filled with some quasi-olde english, so there is a temptation to translate it into modern American. The word “Thou”, in, for example, 17th century english, means your “Higher self”- sort of the same part of the human spirit being addressed with “Namaste” in Tibetan-derived spiritual stuff.
So “Do what your highest self believes to be right” is probably a more appropriate interpretation.
Talk to the O.T.O folks for an interpretation of “Will”. The idea of a person’s “will” was pretty important at the time the rede was written. I’m sure there are long articles out there about the “high magick” uses of both words.
The general feel of the statement “Do what thou will” comes out closer to “make the choices your best self would want to have happen.
J.V. Altharas
I think any Wiccan who believes BDSM violates the rede because of their personal definition of “harm” is falling into the same destructive mindset as Christians who vilify homosexuals because of their bible. This is one of the unfortunate side effects of a “belief system” becoming a “religion.”
Once it’s a religion some people are going to start rules-lawyering instead of focusing on the spirit of the rules, and at that point you immediately start burying yourself in your own bullshit. It’s not about the words, it’s about the intent.
The elegant simplicity of the Wiccan Rede should prevent it from being misinterpreted. It genuinely saddens me to see the central tenet of the most sexually accepting religion in the modern world turned into a tool of sexual discrimination. I suppose it was only a matter of time.
RavenHarte
I think the people who beleive the “Harm None” idea is broken during BSDM play probably know very little about the history of Wicca, and forget that Wicca was created by Gerald Gardner in the 1950′s – yes created – and part of the Gardnerian, and Alexandrian, initiation processes includes the initiated being scourged. Basically flogged. And the initiate isnt supposed to be WARNED about that let alone asked if they give consent!!!
To me “harm” is pretty subjective. If I agree to let you spank me, because I like it, there is no harm there. But what about that cold you just gave me by shaking my hand without washing yours? Or what about that job that you got instead of me? Or that comment you just made about someone being fat that tweaked my insecurites? Or the animals and plants you eat without asking their permission? Or bugs you might have stepped on? Or the fish and water creatures that are poisoned by your household sinks and toliets? Or the bacteria that are eradicated when you shower with soap?
“Harm” is relative. If you’re going to bitch about a consensual act, then you’d better be living in a box because we all do “harm” all the time if you’re going to take it THAT literally!
Roses and Thorns
Having recently taken an ethics class I am considering re-visiting this subject. I would like to write it with some of the added insight I have now.
Brittany
There is an expression that I’ve seen multiple times in the D/s community. “I will hurt you, but never harm you.” Obviously, I find this expression appropriate to the conversation at hand. Harm implies nonconsent- implies lasting emotional or physical damage. Hurt is a reference to temporary pain that is easily overcome. I love to be (physically) hurt, but I know at all times that Master is doing the best he can to keep me safe from harm. He values me too much for that, and moreover, what’s the point in acquiring a possession if you’re only going to break it?