I’ve gone through many levels of prudishness growing up. When I was very young, I was quite sexually explorative. I started masturbating early though, around 5th or 6th grade, as well as going online to look at naughty things, and play in chat rooms once my parents went to bed. I found out through playing “Never Have I Ever” with my friends in high school, that I was the first one to “touch” one. But that was as far as it went. I never even saw a dick in person until I got into college, when I was with my first real boyfriend. We would kiss, snuggle, and even do oral sex, but anything more was out of the question for me, and thankfully he didn’t push me. The truth behind being a bit of a prude with actual penetrative sex was that I was scared. My somewhat country sex-education in high school lead me to feel that no form of birth control would really work. I was on the pill and knew about condoms, but I didn’t trust them. Plus, there was the ever-looming threat of STDs.

So I went looking for help. At my yearly check up with my gyno, I told her that I was worried about having sex. She eased my fears about pregnancy prevention, and I was ready. I went the romantic route, and my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other on our one year anniversary. I did ease into it, though. I refused to let my boyfriend cum inside me, even in a condom, for quite a while. The next year I had my first pap smear and everything went fine. My doctor asked me if I wanted to get that new Guardasil vaccine that protected against cervical cancer. I hate needles so I said no, plus I didn’t need it. I was in a monogamous relationship.

That relationship didn’t last forever. After that I had a desperate one-night stand with a much older man. We used a condom, so I didn’t worry about pregnancy or STDs. That was one of the times I wish I had been more of a prude to not let myself be so desperate.

Shortly after that, I met my next boyfriend. I had no worries about pregnancy anymore. My double protection of condoms and the pill had been working, so we jumped into bed right away. I had forgotten about STDs. Why should I worry about them? He’d only been with one other girl than me, and they were both virgins. Plus, I had always used a condom and never had one break. I had another gyno appointment after we started seeing each other. Everything went like the time before and I was again asked about the Guardasil shot. Nope, in a monogamous relationship, I don’t need it! My new boyfriend and I explored each other and had protected sex every time we were together.

Toward the end of the relationship I had another gyno appointment, this time with a new doctor. He had a local mid-wife observing his business, and she came in for my exam as well. Everything was going fine until he called her over to look at something in my vagina. That can never be good, right? She agreed with what he said, while I was still laying there confused and worried. The doc finished up and let me sit up and cover myself. He told me he saw some “condylomas”. I asked what that was, and he said very nonchalantly, “Oh it’s caused by HPV.” HPV? The one with the vaccine that my previous doctor pushed? That couldn’t be possible. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt dirty. I was careful. I was a prude. I had only had protected sex. How did this happen to ME? I was too shocked to ask any real questions. He gave me a pamphlet on HPV (human papillomavirus) and sent me on my way.

A few weeks later I got a call. My pap had come back abnormal, and they wanted to do some kind of scope procedure, a colposcopy. I put it off as long as I could and finally had it done with the same doctor. I went in and waited. He explained what he was doing, and that he was going to use vinegar to show any lesions on the cervix, but I had read that online. I laid there while he coated my cervix in vinegar, and then he said he was going to do a biopsy. There was a small pinch and that was it. They called me a week later saying the biopsy “showed the same abnormal cells as the pap, but it’s not cancerous.”

It’s not cancerous; that’s a relief. They did want me to get another pap in 6 months though. So, I went on about my life. When it came time for my next pap, the doctor I had been seeing had moved his practice. I decided to see a new doctor that was local to my college. I was nervous to see a new doctor, especially since my records had gotten lost. The doctor was running late, so another came in to ask if I had any questions. I explained what had happened before, and with my medical records. She was very understanding, and so was my doctor when she came in to see me. The exam was quick and easy. She answered all of my questions. I asked how this could happen as I’d always used condoms. She explained that HPV is transmitted skin-to-skin, and a condom doesn’t cover everything. I even asked about the Guardasil vaccine, and she said I could still get it because it wasn’t likely I had all of the strains it protected against. I felt much better after talking to her.

The nurse called a few weeks later to tell me the pap was abnormal, so I scheduled another coloposcopy as well as getting the first of the Guardasil shot. I wasn’t worried about the procedure, I had it done before and it wasn’t horrible. This time, the doctor explained to me that I had tested positive for HPV, something the other doctor didn’t. She also explained the levels of abnormal cells and where mine were at on the scale.

The procedure started, and she was going to do a biopsy. She said there would be a small pinch and I waved it off; I’d barely felt it the time before. *Snip* What the hell was that? Did she cut my whole cervix off? That hurt! She wanted to do another, so I prepared myself, but it didn’t hurt. She explained to me that some spots on the cervix are more sensitive than others. Then came the peanut butter colored goo to stop any bleeding and weeping from the biopsy. That didn’t happen before. She explained I might spot brown and black for the rest of the night from the goo they applied. After that I got my shot and was allowed to leave.

The rest of the night I felt awful. The biopsy left me feeling like there was a tampon in me, and I was leaking like a sieve. The next day I was back to normal.

When the results came in, they were the same as before. The biopsy showed the same type of abnormal cells as the pap, but the lowest form of abnormality and they would do another pap in 6 months to keep an eye on things.

Even though HPV is so common (it’s estimated 50% of sexuality active men and women have the virus at some point in their life), I feel like I wasn’t properly educated about the risks. We learned about Gonorrhea and HIV in high school, but I had never heard of HPV until college. My Human Sexuality class didn’t even teach me that condoms don’t protect you 100% against HPV, they only reduce the risk. I was repeatedly offered the vaccine, but was told I only needed it if I wasn’t in a monogamous relationship. I was always careful and selective with my sexual relations, and from what I had learned, that should have been enough to protect me, but it wasn’t. I don’t know which partner I got it from, and even though two of them were virgins or close to it, it could have been transferred to them from oral sex even.

HPV is known to cause most forms of cervical cancer, and has even more recently been linked to anal and oral cancers. Certain strains, which Guardasil covers, also cause genital and anal warts. Even if you’ve already tested positive for it, like me, you can still protect yourself with the vaccine. Males and females under 26 can get Guardasil. Educate yourself more on STDs and safer sex practices, so that you don’t learn the hard way, like me, that prudishness is not an adequate form of STD prevention.

Sexual health is never stressed enough. There is a gold mine of information out there that usually just fills up space, because so many people are careless and enjoy the thrill and excitement of sex, and not the responsibility of it. I had sex for the first time at a very young age. I have been sexually active for ten years, which may seem small to the older population, however I have grown and learned from it. Sex has directly impacted my life. Ten years ago I knew little about sexual health. I plunged off the bridge and into the sheets with a boyfriend, and never looked back. I was irresponsible and childish. I was still a child when I began having sex. It is a shame that so many young people dive right in without a single thought of the consequences. From my experience, I have learned that sex should wait. You should research statistics and information about what you are doing. Sex has always been a desire, an addiction, way back to hundreds of years ago. Along with that has come STD’s, STI’s, and even cancers related to sex. We need to be educated on sex. There needs to be more serious talk rather than just sexuality. It is true, sex is utopia, but like all other things… most good things also have their bad side. Be smart. Read the facts and get the information on sex before you jump into it. It is about being responsible. You have to be responsible enough to take the steps to protect yourself, or what was once your desire of a heated moment, can become your worst nightmare.

I did not know very much when I starting having sex. I remember having a short Sex Ed class in Junior High School, and that was it. Some kids are lucky enough to have really open parents that give them the information they need. Me? Not so lucky. The only talk I got was, “You are grounded until I take you to get some birth control.” I had no idea what having sex at such a young age would do to my body. Now, ten years later, I live in regret of it. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Did you know that “Cervical Cancer is the fifth most common cancer in women worldwide, with approximately 471,000 new cases diagnosed each year. In less developed countries, this type of cancer is the second most common in women, and accounts for up to 300,000 annual deaths. 80% of the cases occur in low-income or middle-income countries,” according to CervicalCancer.Org. A women dies from cervical cancer every two minutes, and the most devastating idea is that in most cases, it could be prevented or caught early enough to treat with the right health care, information, and check ups. Cervical cancer also attacks women of every age. “Although the average age of diagnosis is 50, women as young as 17 can contract the disease.” (CervicalCancer.Org)

I am 24 years old and have been treated twice already for cervical cancer. Back in 2006, I was diagnosed and underwent treatment, which put me in remission for five years. Last October I was not feeling well and went to the doctor to undergo tests, to find that it was back again. I had another surgery and am now cancer free again. How is this related to sexual health? There are underlying risk factors, as with any cancer. More commonly than not, with cervical cancer, a person’s sexual activity can directly affect their chances of getting it. “Women who have had had early sexual activity, before 18 years of age, are more at risk, as the cervical cells are very fragile at this young age.” A scary fact. I was told that because of my activeness at such a young age, I most likely caused my own cervical cancer. Of course there is no way of proving this, but the evidence is very strong. Cervical cancer does not run in my family. I have not had many partners, but I have been very active. I have never been infected with HPV. The only thing left was my choice to be irresponsible at a young age. There are other causes, as well, including a family history of it, multiple sex partners, exposure to HPV, smoking, multiple pregnancies, high glucose levels, lack of regular medical care, etc. The list goes on. This is why being sexual smart and savvy is so important.

Women should be checked annually, as young as 13 years of age. Regular check ups, and knowing the risks, can greatly influence your sexual health. Had I known that I might get cervical cancer because I chose to have sex at such a young age, I might have thought twice about what I was doing. I just did not have the information. No one gave it to me. That is why it is so important to look after yourself; get the facts, and know what you are getting yourself into. I still love sex. I enjoy it very frequently. But now I have learned that I need to educate myself on everything that I do sexually; whether I am buying a new sex toy, lubricant, condoms, taking birth control, or choosing a partner. Sexual health is the first step for me now. I want the best for my body, and I think that this concern needs to be addressed more often. Love yourself, and educate yourself on sex. That should always be the first step.

I had my first baby at 16. My mother was so embarrassed by this fact that my first OB/GYN appointment was with a man she’d never met. She didn’t want the women at her OB’s office to know she’d failed as a mother. But I have to give credit where credit is due. She didn’t just take me to some random doc. She asked around and found out who was considered to be really good with sexually active teenage girls.

Sexual health was just not something we talked about in our house. I can’t even begin to describe how excited my mother was when she found out the school was going to teach us. Every year till graduation starting in second grade. With the girls in one room, and the boys in the other, and a bit of mystery surrounding each. And even when she realized I really was sexually active (she thought I was long before I was), a conversation about contraceptives really wasn’t in the stars.

I think in abortion debates I’ve told people I had all four kids through Planned Parenthood, but that’s not true. I delivered my first two babies with the doc Mom took me to. He was a really nice Hindu man who had been taken advantage of by some greedy American accountant, and was paying for it with community service. My mom loved him because he wrote off anything Dad’s military insurance wouldn’t cover after the deductible. I loved him because he did his best not to make my situation any more uncomfortable than it already was.

My first encounter with Planned Parenthood was a follow-up appointment after I miscarried twins. I began to miscarry just before I moved to New York. The ER doctor suggested I stay a couple weeks until I’d passed my babies completely, and he could be sure I was okay to travel, but the moving train was leaving at 0600 on a rainy day in March of 1999, with or without me, and my kids were on that train. So I was, too.

It had been years since the friend I moved with had seen an OB/GYN in New York, and she met hers through Planned Parenthood. So that’s where I went. The one she took me to was in this tiny little town in Upstate NY. And there wasn’t a single visit marred by protesters. I don’t know that they never dealt with them. They just weren’t there when I was.

Out here, though, they’re everywhere. Sometimes just one or two. Sometimes so many you can’t get through the door without an escort. And if you engage them in conversation, it’s always the same thing.

Abortion is murder and murder’s a sin.

I know some of you reading this believe that. And maybe some of you reading this are some of the people who burn shoe leather carrying signs and accosting people going to Planned Parenthood. Before I go any further, let me tell you that I will fight just as hard for your right to your opinion as I will my own. But I will never concede that abortion should be illegal. That whole separation of church and state thing, you know?

And while I’ll stand for the right to protest while I’m at it, I won’t pretend the abortion clinic protesters don’t drive me insane. Planned Parenthood does so much more than just abortion. I was treated for a curable sexually transmitted disease and a miscarriage by Planned Parenthood. And I’m not talking a quick examination, some pills, a pat on the head and off you go! They had an in-house counselor who spoke with me at length, and then referred me to an outside therapist. In fact, they handled those things so well, I decided to have my two youngest children through them as well. And I wont lie. I was surprised when I realized how many women were there to plan their pregnancy, not end it.

Aside from all of the center’s employees being female, and all of them being open-minded and unfazed by my personal choices, there’s just this atmosphere of understanding. The most unpleasant experience I’ve had in a Planned Parenthood was when one of the midwives said something to the effect of, “Let’s face it. Guys just don’t hang around.”

I have friends who go to them for fertility therapy. Friends who use their services for STD testing. Women who go there to have their babies, and be tested for cancer. I know women who wouldn’t get any sort of treatment if it weren’t for the seemingly non-judgmental employees in Planned Parenthood.

Around the time I found out I was pregnant, a girl in my drama class was pregnant and decided to give the baby up for adoption. Planned Parenthood held her hand every step of the way. They referred her to an adoption agency, and a lawyer. A midwife went with her to meet the families she interviewed and see where her baby was going to live. An in-house therapist sat with her in the court room during the proceedings. Every bump, every emotional hurdle, every legal issue… they’d already thought of it, and had a procedure in place.

Family counseling, family planning, birth control, men’s and women’s sexual health, prenatal care and delivery, and yes, in some cases, abortion. But not all Planned Parenthoods do abortions. They usually work with more than one outside OB/GYN, so you have a number of docs to choose from. If one doesn’t work out, you just ask them to set you up with another. They provide all sorts of services and are accustomed to working with people of all ages.

The nurses and midwives at the OB/GYN my mother took me to are a much different story.

I won’t claim all Planned Parenthoods are perfect, but I’ve never had a bad experience with them. If you were to ask me where you should go for your sexual health check-ups, or where you should take your daughter, I will always suggest starting at Planned Parenthood.

How many of you have had to go through, or are going through, the confusing task of choosing a birth control method that works for you? There are so many options out there that it can be overwhelming.  Here I’ll break it down for you and go over each method, along with pros & cons.

Implanon: A matchstick sized rod that is inserted in the underside of the upper arm by a doctor. It works by releasing progestin, which is a hormone that stops eggs from being released from the ovaries, it thickens the cervical mucus, and also thins the uterine lining. It costs between $400 – $800 up front but it is good for up to 3 years.

PROS-

• You can become pregnant soon after it is removed.
• It can be used while breastfeeding.
• Safe for women who can’t take estrogen.
• No meds need to be taken daily.
• Nothing to put in before intercourse.
• Periods may become lighter and may stop altogether.
• Can be removed at any time.

CONS-

• Irregular bleeding first 6 – 12 months.
• Some women may experience heavier, longer periods.
• Less common side effects include:
• Change in sex drive.
• Scarring on skin over implant.
• Headaches, nausea, and sore breasts first few months.
• Pain at insertion site.

Patch: A small, flesh colored, square patch that sticks to the skin. A new patch is placed on the skin once a week for three weeks in a row, followed by one patch free week. It works by releasing estrogen and progestin which stop eggs from being released from the ovaries, it thickens the cervical mucus, and thins the uterine lining. It costs between $15 – $75 a month.

PROS-
It offers some protection against:

• Acne, bad cramps, bone thinning
• Ectopic pregnancies, iron deficiency anemia
• Cysts in the breasts and ovaries
• Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
• PMS symptoms
• Heavy and irregular bleeding.

CONS-

• Bleeding between periods
• Breast tenderness
• Nausea and vomiting

Ring: A small, flexible ring is inserted into the vagina once a month; it is left in place for three weeks and taken out for one week. It works be releasing estrogen and progestin, which stops eggs from being released. It thickens the cervical mucus, and thins the uterine lining. Costs $15 – $70 a month.

PROS-
It offers protection against:

• Acne, bad cramps, bone thinning
• Ectopic pregnancies, iron deficiency anemia
• Cysts in the breasts and ovaries
• Pelvic inflammatory disease [PID]
• PMS symptoms
• Heavy and irregular periods

CONS-

• Bleeding between periods
• Breast tenderness
• Nausea and vomiting – usually clears up after first 3 months

Pill: The birth control pill is a small pill that is taken a daily. Some pills work by releasing estrogen and progestin (called the combo pill) while other work by releasing progestin only.  These hormones stop eggs from being released from the ovaries, it thickens the cervical mucus, and thins the uterine lining.  The pill must be taken at the same time everyday to be effective.  It costs between $15 – $80 a month.

PROS-

• Reduced cramps
• Lighter periods
• Regular periods
• Some protection against Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
• The combo pill offers protection against
• Acne, bone thinning, bad cramps
• Ectopic pregnancies, iron deficiency anemia
• Cysts in the breasts and ovaries
• Pelvic inflammatory disease [PID]
• PMS symptoms
• Heavy and irregular bleeding

CONS-

• Bleeding between periods
• Breast tenderness
• Nausea and vomiting in the first three months.

Shot: An injection in the arm or buttocks. It works by releasing progestin; which stops eggs from being released from the ovaries, it thickens the cervical mucus, and thins the uterine lining. It costs $35 – $75 per injection. Each shot lasts three months.

PROS-

• Long lasting protection
• No daily pill to remember
• Nothing to carry or store
• Private; no packaging or evidence to hide
• Can be used while breastfeeding
• No estrogen
• Helps prevents cancer in the lining of the uterus

CONS-

• Irregular bleeding first 6 – 12 months while body adjusts.
• Less common side effects include
• Change in appetite or weight gain
• Change in sex drive
• Headache
• Hair loss
• Sore breasts

Sponge: A plastic, foam sponge containing spermicide. It’s soft, round and about 2 inches in diameter. It has a nylon loop attached to the bottom for removal. The sponge is inserted deep into the vagina before intercourse. It works by covering the cervix and blocking sperm from entering the uterus and also continually releases spermicide; which stops the sperm from moving.  Costs $9 – $15 for a pack of three sponges.

PROS-

• Can be carried in pocket or purse
• Generally can not be felt by your partner
• No effect on your natural hormones
• Doesn’t interrupt sex play
• Can be inserted hours ahead of time and worn up to 30 hours after insertion. You can have intercourse as many times as you like during the first 24 hours without removing or reinserting it.
• Can be used while breastfeeding

CONS-

• May be difficult for some women to insert or remove the sponge
• May cause vaginal irritation
• May make sex too messy or too dry; some complain it makes them dry requiring extra lube which then makes it messy

Cervical Cap: A silicone cup that is inserted into the vagina and over the cervix. It works by keeping sperm from getting into the uterus and joining with an egg; must be used with a spermicide.  Costs $60 – $75 and lasts up to two years.

PROS-

• Can be carried in pocket or purse
• Generally can not be felt by your partner
• Immediately effective and reversible
• No effect on your natural hormones
• Can be inserted up to six hours before intercourse
• Can be used while breastfeeding

CONS-

• Can not be used during menstruation
• May be difficult for some to insert
• May be pushed out of place by some penis sizes, heavy thrusting, and certain sexual positions.
• Must be put in place every time you are going to have intercourse.
• May need to be replaced with a larger cap after giving birth.
• Spermicide may cause irritation

Condom: Made out of latex or plastic, a condom is worn on the penis during intercourse. It prevents pregnancy and reduces the risk of getting a sexually transmitted diseased [STD]. It works by collecting pre-cum and semen when a man ejaculates, keeping the sperm out of the vagina.  Condoms cost about $1 each and are available for free in many places. They are available in many sizes, colors, and flavors. They are also available dry, lubricated, or with spermicide.

PROS-

• Allows men to help in pregnancy prevention
• Reduces risk of getting a STD
• Inexpensive and easy to obtain
• Lightweight and disposable
• No prescription is required
• Can help relieve premature ejaculation
• May help men stay erect longer
• Can be put on as part of sex play
• Can be used with all other birth control methods except female condoms

CONS-

• Some may be allergic to latex
• Some feel it dulls the sensation
• Some become frustrated having to stop to put it on
• Some men are self-conscious about wearing them
• Some men feel pressured to ejaculate
• Some men feel pressured about having to maintain an erection to keep it on

Diaphragm: A shallow, dome-shaped, latex cup that is inserted into the vagina to cover the cervix.  It works by preventing sperm from entering the uterus and joining with an egg. It must be used with a spermicide. Costs $15 – $75 and lasts up to two years.

PROS-

• Can be carried in purse or pocket
• Can be used while breastfeeding
• Generally can not be felt by your partner
• Does not affect your natural hormones
• Immediately effective and reversible
• Can be inserted hours ahead of time

CONS-

• Can’t be used during menstruation
• May be difficult for some to insert
• May be pushed out of place by some penis sizes, heavy thrusting, or certain sexual positions
• Must be in place every time woman has intercourse
• May need to be refitted after giving birth
• May cause urinary tract infections [UTI]
• May cause vaginal irritation
• May cause allergies

Female Condom: A plastic pouch with flexible rings at each end. Just before vaginal intercourse, it is inserted deep into the vagina. The ring at the closed end holds the pouch in the vagina. The ring at the open end stays outside the vaginal opening during intercourse. It works be collecting pre-cum and semen when man ejaculates.  Costs about $4 each.

PROS-

• Easy to obtain
• Can be inserted as part of sex play
• Stays in place even if man isn’t erect
• Can be used if either person has latex allergies
• Can be used with an oil or water based lube
• Doesn’t affect natural hormones
• No prescription required
• Can be used for anal play

CONS-

• May cause irritation
• May slip into the vagina
• May reduce feeling during intercourse
• May be noisy

Fertility Awareness –Based Methods: FAM are ways to track ovulation [release of egg]. Also known as “natural family planning”. It works by keeping sperm out of the vagina in the days near ovulation, when a woman is most fertile.

PROS-

• Cost is little
• Safe
• Can be stopped easily, at any time to plan a pregnancy
• Calendars, thermometers, and charts are easy to get
• No meds needed

CONS-

Will not work if you:

• Have more than one sex partner
• Have a sex partner who isn’t as committed to FAM as you are
• Don’t want to keep close track of your safe days
• Are not able to abstain or use another method for at least 10 unsafe days during each cycle
• Take meds that may affect reading the signs of these methods

IUD: Intrauterine Devices are small “T-shaped” devices made of flexible plastic. It is inserted into the uterus by a health care provider. There is Paraguard which contains copper and is effective for 12 years. Mirena releases progestin, contains no copper, and is effective for 5 years. Both work by affecting the way sperm moves, preventing it from joining with an egg. The progestin in Mirena stops eggs from being released, thickens the cervical mucus, and thins the uterine lining.  Costs $500 – $1000 up front but is very long lasting.

PROS-

• Paraguard doesn’t change hormone levels
• Mirena may reduce cramps and makes period lighter. Flow is reduced by 90% and may stop altogether.
• Can be used while breastfeeding
• Ability to become pregnant returns quickly after removal

CONS-

• Mild to moderate pain when it is inserted
• Cramping for a few days after initial placement
• Spotting between periods in the first 3 – 6 months with Mirena
• Irregular periods in the first 3 – 6 moths with Mirena
• Heavier periods, worse cramps with Paraguard

NOTE- any woman can get the IUD inserted, but it is strongly preferred that the woman has had at least one child.

Spermicide: A chemical that stops sperm from moving. Available in creams, film, foams, gels, and suppositories. It can be used alone or with other birth control methods to make them more effective. Must be inserted shortly before intercourse. Costs about $8 per package.

PROS-

• Can be carried in purse or pocket
• Can be inserted as part of sex play
• Does not affect your natural hormones
• Very easy to obtain
• Does not require a prescription
• Can be used while breastfeeding

CONS-

• If not used correctly, it may not form a good barrier over cervix making it less effective
• May be messy
• May leak out
• May irritate the penis or vagina

Withdrawl Method: When a man pulls his penis out of the vagina before ejaculation. It works by keeping the sperm out of the vagina.

PROS-

• Can be used when no other method is available
• No medical or hormonal side effects
• Free

CONS-

• Requires great self control, experience, and trust
• Not for men with premature ejaculation
• Not for men who do not know when to pull out
• Not recommended for teens or sexually inexperienced men because it takes a lot of experience before a man can be sure to know when he is going to ejaculate

Sterilization: A procedure meant to be permanent by closing or blocking a woman’s fallopian tubes. One way is by tying and cutting the tubes; called tubal ligation. The fallopian tubes can also be sealed using an instrument with an electric current. They can also be closed with clips, clamps, or rings. Sometimes a small piece of the tube is removed.. Tiny inserts can be put in the tubes and tissue grows around them and blocks the tubes, It works by not allowing eggs to pass through the fallopian tubes. Costs $1550 – $6000.

PROS-

• Permanent
• No worries about becoming pregnant
• Does not change your natural hormones

CONS-

Not a good choice if you:

• You may want a child in the future
• Are being pressured by your partner, friends, or family
• Are using it to solve a temporary problem

Vasectomy: A form of birth control for men that is meant to be permanent. Doctor closes or blocks the tubes that carry sperm. It works by blocking each vas deferns (tubes) and keeping sperm out of the seminal fluid. The sperm is absorbed by the body instead of being ejaculated.  Without sperm, “cum” can not cause pregnancies. Costs $350 – $1000.

PROS-

• Lasts a lifetime
• Doesn’t change hormones or sexuality
• Doesn’t affect ability to get or stay erect
• No glands or organs are removed
• Ejaculate will look the same and there will be the same amount.

CONS-
May not be a good choice if you:

• May want another child in the future
• Are being pressured by your partner, friends, or family
• Want to use it to solve a temporary problem

Morning After Pill: Also known as Plan B or emergency contraception. It is a pill taken to prevent pregnancy after unprotected intercourse. It works when used within 120 hours [five days] after unprotected intercourse. It works by releasing a stronger dose of progestin which prevents the release of an egg from the ovaries, thickening the cervical mucus, and thinning the uterine lining. This is NOT the abortion pill and it will not terminate an existing pregnancy. The morning after pill is birth control not abortion. Costs between $10 – $70.

CONS-

• May cause nausea and vomiting
• Breast tenderness
• Irregular bleeding
• Dizziness
• Headaches

Most of us have had the concept of safe sex drilled into our heads since childhood and we know the basics, but what about those of us with less traditional lifestyles? Are there any special considerations sexually active members of the LGBT community have to keep in mind to stay healthy? Let’s take a look.

Your first line of defense is for practicing safe sex isn’t choosing the perfect brand of condom or getting all the right medical tests. It’s your mouth. Use it to talk to your partner about their sexual health and yours before you even think of unzipping his fly or unbuttoning her blouse. Admittedly, the conversation can be a little awkward, but you need to suck it up (so to speak) before you jump into bed. Don’t just assume someone is healthy and disease-free unless they mention otherwise because, let’s face it, not everyone is the pinnacle of honesty.

At a bare minimum, you need to know the last time your potential partner was tested for STDs — hopefully it’s been within the last year — and if anything came up positive. Don’t hesitate to ask for written results if you want them, because this is your life we’re talking about. If you’re going to ask for papers, though, be prepared to offer up your own because fair is fair. If you’re bedding down with someone of your own gender then contraception is a moot point, but if you’re getting involved in a poly- or pansexual arrangement, make sure your chat covers birth control, too.

You’ve heard it before, but I’m saying it again: Wrap it before you tap it. Condoms and dental dams are a drag but so are STDs, so get over the idea that you don’t want to take 30 seconds to open a package that could save you from a round of antibiotics or, y’know, death. Condoms are available at every corner store and you can pick up dams at loads of brick and mortar or online stores, so there’s really no reason you should ever be caught without them. While there’s no safe substitute for condoms, dental dams can be improvised in a number of ways. The most popular options are to cut open an unlubricated condom lengthwise or, if you’re really in a jam, use plastic wrap.

For the most part, the health concerns of the LGBT community are much the same as the heterosexual community, though there is one area that’s sometimes overlooked — our mental health. Whether you’re out, closeted, discreet, or still exploring your sexuality, living a non-traditional lifestyle can sometimes take an emotional toll. Some members of our community are dealing with internal conflict while others struggle against discrimination, bullying, or hate. No matter what the cause, if you need emotional support or counseling please get it. Check with PFLAG or the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for resources in your area. Remember, your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

Some studies show that the risk of certain types of cancers is higher for lesbians because of the lower pregnancy rate that may protect women against these illnesses. Gay men are at higher risk for HPV-related rectal cancer, and male-to-female transgendered people can still develop prostate cancer since the prostate isn’t removed during surgery. The lesson here is to get regular medical checkups whether you’re sexually active or not and make sure you’re screened for illnesses you’re at risk for developing.

The LGBT community is making great strides in both the political arena as well as from the public in general. Stay healthy and practice safe sex so you’re around to enjoy the benefits of this increasing acceptance of our lifestyle choices with the rest of us.

Lisa H is a professional freelance writer and regular contributor at YouWon’tGoBlind.com. Follow her on Twitter at @LisaH.

Well this is definitely a topic that makes all the wheels in my head turn. Safe sex is not something I hear or see enough ads about. I became sexually active at a younger age. I was 15 and I do not remember having that “talk“ with my parents. I learned all about it from the television and books. When I was in high school they did not really discuss STDs with us. They mostly taught us about our bodies. I do not ever remember “talks about condoms.” Abstinence was their way of staying safe. When I was younger, around the age of 15 or 16, I never heard about friends of mine getting Sexually Transmitted Diseases, so I was not concerned about them.

I had a child at the age of 16. It wasn’t until after she was born that I focused on using protection. I am now almost 26, and I am completely paranoid about sexual health. I hear statistics all the time about how many people will be infected with an STD, and some don’t even know they have one. Now that I am a bit older I have learned about so many things I did not know about before. Every year I call my doctor to be tested for STDs. A long time ago I assumed all known STDs would show up in urine samples or blood work. I was unaware that some do not show unless you have an actual break out.  Knowing this now, I think it is really important for us women to get our annual pap. I had my first check up when I was 16. I had my last one last year after I had my daughter. I will be booking my next one after June to make sure I keep up on them.

My oldest daughter is now nine years old, aand she is more aware of what goes on in this world than I was when I was her age. She asked me the other day what a virgin was, even though she already knew the answer to it. I am still unsure at what age I should be talking to her about that kind of stuff. She knows about our monthly cycle. I will have to make sure that I know as much information as possible to help educate her on sexual health, or to answer any questions she might have for me. It really does make me nervous having two daughters. I think it’s absolutely imperative to educate ourselves and others, if possible, with these issues. I even believe that, those who have come across issues with this should talk to others, even if it has to be anonymously, so they feel comfortable discussing it. Some situations we cannot avoid. The best advice I have for anyone, is to become aware of possible problems that may arise. It’s not only about you, it’s about everyone you may come in contact with, if you are not safe. The last thing we need is a bunch of careless people passing along more diseases. If you are going to play.. Play safe!

“You have to test drive the car before you buy it.” These are the sage words of wisdom my Catholic mother shared with me on the way to my first gynecologist appointment. It wasn’t my idea to go, but at 17, with a month to go before leaving for college, she was insistent on two things: a pap smear and birth control. While I wasn’t yet sexually active, my mother was a smart lady who had seen it all before.

You see, my mom is a registered nurse for an OBGYN practice, and has been for the last 21 years. Growing up, she had plenty of stories that would scare the pants right back on you. In junior high, she would regale me with stories of 12 and 13 year old girls who were pregnant. When I got to high school, the stories turned to 16 and 17 year old girls who had so many kids they wanted their tubes tied. When I was in college, it was the girls who left for spring break and came back with herpes, VD, or genital warts, (and she included graphic details about how they remove them, if they can.)

Before we ever stepped foot in the gynecologist’s office, my mom covered the basics of the option she thought was best for me then, the pill. At the time, I didn’t understand why she was so adamant about it. But when I got to college and began dating, it became crystal clear, and I was so thankful for her knowledge and support. While my friends had pregnancy scares and Plan B runs, or had to hide their pills over holiday breaks, I never had to worry about her opinion of me, or about morals and values standing in the way of our relationship. Being able to talk openly about my sexual health and identity brought us closer together.

I won’t lie and say this part of our relationship has always been comfortable or lecture free. I don’t know anyone who wants to talk to his or her mom about STI testing after finding out your boyfriend was cheating. Or who is comfortable knowing mom has access to your personal medical chart at all times, since your GYN is a partner in her office. There were times I debated whether or not to be honest with my physician, knowing that my mom could read something I hadn’t specifically told her (for what it’s worth, I was honest with my physician and took the risk of her finding out. My personal health is more important than that). And yes, I know these are things I could easily change, but the benefits of this brand of motherly advice outweigh the negatives that sometimes result.

Now that I am older and in a serious, committed relationship, the talks have turned from STIs and accidental pregnancy, to how to get pregnant and the 27 year old she saw in the office last week for infertility treatments. She knows my partner and I do not want kids for a few years yet, but it’s not her style to let a teachable moment pass without comment.

In the meantime, I am looking for next form of birth control, of course, with the help of mom. She’s making a case for Implanon, and I’m thinking of an IUD. I’m not sure yet what my partner and I will decide on, but I know who I can always turn to for great advice.

As you can imagine, working with victims of sexual assault, I come into contact with women from all walks of life with very different belief systems and opinions on Birth Control, Abortion, and other issues surrounding pregnancy and the prevention of it. My personal beliefs are not important in the context of my job or in the context of this article. My only job when working with clients is to inform them of their options, and insure that they have the information needed to make a decision with confidence. What I have most often found, is that many women don’t understand the difference between Plan B and the “abortion pill”, or the different variations of each of these.

I live in the center of the Bible Belt, so often times I am working with women who feel religious or social pressure when making this decision. Some have beliefs that they are trying to reconcile with this decision of whether to take Plan B or not, and some struggle with what others will think if they knew. I’ve found myself many times explaining the difference between Plan B and abortion medication so that clients, and sometimes their parents, will understand the difference. Again, the goal is that they can make an informed decision. The point I most often have to clarify is that Plan B is NOT the abortion pill.

Plan B is very similar to birth control pills. For those who may not know exactly how birth control pills work there are two basic types. The first type are progestin-only pills, the second form are combination pills that contain both estrogen and progestin. Progestin-only pills, or POPs, work by thickening the cervical mucus, making it more difficult for the sperm to enter the uterus. POPs may prevent ovulation, but they may not be consistent in doing so. For that reason, many women on birth control pills choose some form of combination pills. Like the POPs, combination pills will serve to thicken the cervical mucus, but they are also more effective in preventing ovulation.

Plan B is a secondary form of birth control that can be used when your normal birth control may have failed, or perhaps you failed to use it correctly. The active ingredient in Plan B is levonorgestrel. This hormone is like estrogen and progestin in its ability to thicken the cervical mucus, but also makes it more difficult for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterine lining and becoming a fetus. Women take this as a preventative measure BEFORE they are pregnant to prevent that from happening. (As a side note. I have had some women tell me that they believe a fertilized egg is a life, and they consider even this to be equal to an abortion. Those women make a moral judgment here to say that they will not take the medication.) Like normal birth control methods, in the event that you are already pregnant, there is no medical evidence that it would harm your pregnancy. The main point I try to make to my clients (and to anyone reading this article) is that Plan B is NOT an abortion pill. The medications offered during a sexual assault examination are the equivalent of Plan B. It is only effective within 72 hours and will not abort an existing pregnancy.

The Abortion Pill, as most people have called it, is also known as Medication Abortion. These drugs are not available over the counter and are very different from birth control. The active ingredient, mifepristone, is an antiprogestational steroid. This means that the medication works by blocking the production of progesterone, ultimately causing miscarriage of the pregnancy. These drugs are only to be taken under the supervision of a qualified doctor in a medical facility. Normally women are given three pills the first day. They follow-up two days later, and if the doctor is not certain if the medications have been effective, they may be given a dose of another medication called misoprostal. This second drug can also be used to induce labor, explaining how it would work in conjunction with the mifepristone.

As with an in-clinic abortion, there is a long list of risks and possible side effects connected to this method, which include the possibility of vaginal bleeding for anywhere from 9 to 30 days and maybe even longer. As I mentioned earlier this is treated essentially like and out-patient procedure, and is only done under close doctor supervision. In the event that the medications do not work effectively, an aspiration abortion is recommended as the harm done to the fetus is irreversible, and the child would be born with likely severe birth defects.

Obviously, if I am talking with someone who doesn’t believe in any form of birth control, then there is really no conversation to be had. Many women in this area use birth control but are against abortion. Some of them are against Plan B because it has been presented to them by others as an abortion pill. In these cases I try to explain the differences so that they can make an informed decision. Some women have concerns with taking the medication if they are in a relationship where they have been trying to get pregnant, and they are afraid to harm an existing pregnancy. At least in the case of sexual assault exams, individuals are first given a pregnancy test before being offered the medication. If it comes back positive the Plan B is not given because it wouldn’t work, and they would also know that the pregnancy is not a result of the rape that just occurred.

As we all know a woman can be pregnant for several days before a urine test indicates that she is in fact pregnant. In these cases the Plan B still should not affect the pregnancy that already exists, but of course that decision is still up to the patient.

Everyone has a right to their own opinion and beliefs. Some people believe that birth control/abortion is a black and white issue, others think there is no cause for moral concern, and still others (myself included) feel that it is much more complicated than either of those approaches. In any event, everyone is entitled to their beliefs and the right to make their own decision. It is simply part of my job, as an advocate, to make sure that those decisions are fully informed so that there is no confusion or unneeded regret down the road for that individual.

I hope that people find this article helpful and informative. If you are interested in doing your own follow-up research I recommend these websites. They do a good job of explaining the drug uses and the way that these medications work.

http://www.planbonestep.com/

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/abortion/abortion-pill-medication-abortion-4354.asp

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/ (Wonderful for finding the drug facts for each of the medications)

There are so many lovely colorful toys out there, made of so many different materials. I am here today to tell you about the ones that are body safe and easily sterilized!

While products like CyberSkin and UR3 are lovely feeling materials, they are porous and can harbor harmful bacteria, and can not be easily sterilized. Therefore they are not body safe, and can not be shared between partners. Condom use with these materials, and others like them, is highly recommended, and well, lets face it, no fun!

Materials with the highest safety ratings are things like silicone, glass, and stainless steel. While silicone can be a bit high maintenance at times, it is MORE than worth it. Silicone is non-porous and can be sterilized in a number of ways, including using a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or even running it through the dishwasher.

Mind you, porous material is only one of the things one must watch for when choosing a body safe toy. Things like hard plastic can have seams that icky bacteria can hide in. Also, phthalates is something else we need to watch out for. Phthalates are found in a LARGE number of very common sex toys, and other products outside of the sex toy world.

Studies have linked phthalates to many nasty issues including, cancers, reproductive issues, and so on, and so forth. Not to be all scare tactic, and doom and gloom, but I don’t want these nasty chemicals introduced into my body. I do my best to avoid them in my sex toys as well as other household items.

How do you avoid unsafe toys? One of the easiest ways is to pay attention to the material safety rating on EdenFantasys. It is a great way to know what you are getting and putting in your body. Again, I will sing the praises of silicone, glass, and stainless steel as materials for sex toys.

I have already touched on silicone and how its is easily sterilized, but two other wonderful materials are glass and metal. While these are not forgiving materials, they are awesome for toys. I love how stiff and ridged they are. Plus, like silicone they can be easily sterilized, and usually lack the seams that can harbor junk. Honestly I can go on for hours and hours about my love affair with silicone and other materials. They are versatile, and just plain amazing.

I will end this here with a few final words. Always read product descriptions, they are one of the best sources for information on what you are actually getting. Read product reviews, which are also another amazing source for information on a product and how to keep it clean, what it’s made of, and how to best care for your toys. Keep the product safety key in mind, and if you have a question about a material, EdenFantasys has a great list of all the materials found in products on the site. It is a wonderful way to learn what you are getting.

All in all, be safe. Keep your toys clean, (there are a lot of amazing cleansing sprays, wipes, and soaps on EdenFantasys) and if you do use toys made of a more porous material, please remember to use a condom with it them, especially if you are going to be sharing the toys.

I was 17 years old when I first visited the doctor for a pap smear. Since I didn’t have an OB-GYN, and the thought of visiting my pediatrician for such “adult” matters seemed too awkward, I went to the health department. I was initially going for birth control, but they do a pap smear to check for any issues before prescribing it. I can remember the exact date because it was September 11, 2001, the day the Twin Towers fell.

I was basically forced to schedule this visit by my mom. My high school sweetheart and I had been dating 11 months at the time, and she correctly assumed we were having sex. She told me to make an appointment or she would make one and see that I went. So, after school that day, I was sitting in the health department’s lobby. My then loser boyfriend promised to go with me, but he didn’t show up to school that day and I couldn’t get hold of him before the appointment, so I was alone.

I can remember being scared to death. I had no idea what a pap smear consisted of, and I didn’t rely on the Internet for all of my information, like I do now. I just knew I was clueless, and I was sure it was going to hurt. I was eventually called back, and found myself sharing a room with a volunteer that looked to be in her 70’s. Now, this was a little embarrassing for a teenager, as I didn’t really want to share my sexual history with a lady that was old enough to be my grandmother. Still, I answered her questions, and then got on the table for the exam.

She asked me if I had had sexual intercourse within the past 24 hours, and I told her no, which was the truth. As she examined me, she stated that she found dead semen, so she knew that I had to be lying. Talk about being even more uncomfortable! I really had not had sex 24 hours before, because I was told not to when I called to make the appointment. Plus, my boyfriend and I always used condoms because I was not yet on birth control. So I think the chances of her finding anything was slim to none. The actual pap smear was very uncomfortable and it hurt. Looking back now, I know that most of it was in my head, and due to the fact that I was so scared. They are still uncomfy now, but at least I know what’s going to happen, and that it is all over within a minute or two.

Finally, the exam was done, and they gave me a prescription for birth control pills. Everything turned out fine. Needless to say, I didn’t go back for another pap smear until I found an actual OB-GYN. This took me four years to do, as I was a bit too scarred from my first experience to schedule an appointment the following year, like I should have. There was no way I was going back to the health department to have another little old granny interrogate me!