Oh, Oh, Oh, Ooooooo… I’m talking about the holy grail for women, and possibly men… Multiple Orgasms.

Multiple Orgasms are orgasms that happen rapidly, one right after another, sometimes seconds apart. Despite popular belief woman aren’t the only one who can do this either. Men can have multiples as well, although it takes practice, but we’ll get to this later.

We’re going to talk about the ladies first, and if you want to give your woman multiples then that’s how it should be in the bedroom too. Foreplay is very important, women need to be warmed up. We are kinda like cars in this respect, in the middle of winter you can’t go out start your car and expect it to go. You have to give it some time to warm up and get things lubricated. Same goes for the ladies. Don’t just dive for the genitals, play with her breast, or tease other erogenous zone. For example, on some women the back of the knees, ears, neck and/or inner thighs are very sensitive.
Now, if you don’t already know, learn your way around the vulva, clit, and labia. Don’t think of the clit as a little bump to be man handled. It’s the heart of a complex pleasure producing network. With over 8,000 nerve fibers, the clit has more of them than any other part of the female body. Think about that next time, she asks you to play with it.

Ok let get on to some techniques.

In the missionary position, while kneeling or sitting between her legs, use the tip of your penis to barely penetrate her vaginal entrance. Then stay awhile, let it rest just inside her. Press your thumb against her clit and gently flick it, as you penetrate with short, shallow thrusts. Another way is to press the shaft of your penis against her clit and thrust gently between the folds of her labia without entering her. You want to get her into the 90 second window. This is the minute and a half before she has her orgasm. While she’s in this window, position her on top with her clit against your pubic bone at the base of your penis. This will achieve the ideal amount of pressure to stimulate her clit against your penis.

No matter what position your in, keep in contact with the clit. And for goodness sake DON’T STOP. There’s nothing more frustrating than almost reaching it, then the guy stops. She’s not going to reach multiples unless you keep going. The main reason many women don’t have multiples is that the stimulation stops after number one. Keep going! Keep stimulating the clit, and she’ll keep having them.

Now I know why you guys have kept reading, probably some women too. You want to know how men can have multiple O’s.

So you want to know how to last longer in bed and have multiple orgasms? You can experience the orgasm roller coaster just like women and not ejaculate. Most men focus on the cumming and not on the lovemaking process. They also believe that if they can regain an erection soon after cumming, and cum again in a certain amount of time, that makes them multi-orgasmic. Sorry guys, that’s wrong. Just like with the ladies multiple orgasms, men can come in quick succession. So a guy who is truly multi-orgasmic will not lose his erection until after the final orgasm. This kind of orgasm was taught by older woman to younger men back in the 1800s, in Oneida Community. I found this really neat since I live about an hour or two from Oneida County. It was a form of early birth control called “Male Continence“ and it seemed to work. During the time it was implemented, from around 1848 to 1868, only about 40 children were born to a community of around 250.

Ok I hear you, enough with the history lesson. How do I do it? Well, first you’re going to need to get in touch with your body (yes pun intended).

There is a point near ejaculation called the “point of no return”. At this time guys will experience genital contractions lasting for about 3-5 seconds. These are pelvic orgasms, and might feel like a fluttering or mild release of pressure. When approaching this “point of no return” the object is to NOT crest over and cum, but to decrease stimulation, just enough to gain control over your arousal rate. Control can be achieved by squeezing the PC muscles or Kegels. These are the muscle that allow you to stop going pee mid-stream.

Learning to control these muscles is essential to learning how to have multiples. There are two ways to located the PC muscles, the first one I mentioned above, by stoppping going mid-stream. The other is less thrilling for some, stick your finger in your rectum and try contracting your PCs, making sure to keep your other muscles relaxed. You’ll know when your doing it because your finger will feel pressure. If you think you need to strengthen your PC muscles try these exercises. Quickly clench your PCs and hold for 10 seconds, and then release taking a 10 second break. Perform 3 sets then take a 30 second break. Clench and unclench for 5 seconds with 5 second breaks in between. Do this 10 times in a row. Tighten your PCs for 30 sec and release for 30 seconds – 3 time in a row. Repeat the first step and then your done. This can be done any time, any where. Nobody will even know. Ladies you know what I’m talking about, so help the guys out.
Also you know how some guys can use it as a towel rack? Yeah, these will help in that department too.

Second step: practice makes perfect. Try it on your own at first, so you can learn things like your “point of no return”. Learn how to use your PC muscles to stop your cumming. If you can’t, then you may need some more exercise. Once you have an idea of when your “point” is then bring in your partner, I’m sure she/he will be happy to help you practice.

Remember, both ladies and gents… relax, enjoy, and over all, have fun.

How many of you remember Popeye’s catch phrase “I y-am what I y-am.”?

I think this sums up a person. I am what I am and your not gonna change me. I have a submissive personality, except when I’m PMSing. Then you just don’t want me around at all, lol. Now while I am a sub, I’m not going to let you or anyone else walk all over me. Just because I’m submissive, doesn’t mean I won’t stand up for myself. Yet many people believe that if a person is a sub it means they are. Just like many people think that if a person is a dom they’re bullies or abusive. Again this is not true. But the media and society have placed taboos on this type of lifestyle.

So how do you get your vanilla partner to try this type of play, especially if they buy into this stigma?

Well first you have to learn all you can about what you want, like, and what turns you on. Are you a dom or a sub? How far do you want to go? Do you just want to dabble, or actually get into the lifestyle? How do you feel about pain, or even adding other fetishes?

Once you know what you want, start slow. Try saying something like, “You know what I’d like to try tonight…?” Finish with, maybe … “letting you have your way with me”, or perhaps, “I’d liked to have my way with you.” They’ll probably be more accepting of this than, “I want you to tie me to the bed and fuck me senseless,” But then, you know better than me with your partner.

If he/she can get comfortable with the mild stuff, for example: tying you or being tied to the bed. They might be receptive to going farther. Talk, offer up info, show them that being kinky isn’t a horrible thing, and normal everyday people do it.

Here’s something that is very big, even if you know more and want to go fast into this. Let your partner move at his or her own pace. Every one learns at their own pace, so be patient. Talk with them, answer their questions, or help find the answers.

Ok, a couple tips for subs-

Try doing little things, like getting your partner’s drink or meals. Do things you know they hate to do. For example… I know my hubby hates to mow the lawn, so I do it for him. This can be applied in the bed room as well , do stuff they like. One example… my hubby likes BJ’s, so I give them to him whenever I get the chance.

Tips for Doms-

Biggie! Make sure your partner knows you’ll respect their wishes, and you won’t do things that are No-No’s. No means, NO! Don’t violate that or you’ll have problems. Also make sure that your partner knows that you respect them as a person. They aren’t going to be a sex object, for your pleasure, it’s a two way street give and take.

Can your partner tell when you're faking?

Yes & No.

No that's not a trick question just a loaded one.

If your partner is really into giving you pleasure then yeah they probably can tell. But on the other hand, if the  man/woman only cares about themselves then A) they can't and B) probably don't care.

Orgasm are complex.  There a mass combination of physical and emotional sensations. Here are a few hints she might be faking… If your partner is uninterested then she's probably not in the moment enough to have one. I mean if I'm thinking about what I have to do tomorrow then I'm not going to have an orgasm, would you? Orgasms are not just physical, there is an emotional connection as well. That's why many people can get off by using fantasies while masturbating. Also if suddenly BAM she starts screaming “I'm coming!” Then rolls over and goes to sleep um yeah not the real deal. Some guys think longer is better, but quality is the key. If you really want to  give your partner pleasure then take the time to learn what she likes and doesn’t like. If your not… well then why the heck are you reading this? Is she WET! If your getting a friction burn then she's probably not as into it as you think. Women tend to self-lubricate, and usually get even wetter when they orgasm. No these aren't definite but there tips to see if she's really there with you or out to lunch.

So how do I tell a real one from a fake?

If a woman is have a combination of these signals then she is probably having an orgasm. Her body is a major way to check. When a woman is aroused her labia will swell and in some women may even change colors, becoming a purple or pink color. Her clit will get hard, it's kinda like the penis in some aspects as it becomes engorged with blood and more sensitive. This helps make a women more receptive to having an orgasm. Her chest may become flushed, like the labia and clit, breast can become engorged with blood. Nipples will become erect and get darker. If she has a look of general euphoria, her cheeks become flushed, she's panting or breathing hard. These are all signs she's either close or having an orgasm. Granted the heavy breathing and panting can be faked, but unless she's a great actress the flushed cheeks can't. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, well if your peering into those baby blues, or greens, or browns or whatever then you'll be in a much better position to tell if she's faking or not. Many women who fake will not look you in the eye. Some may close their eyes, while having a real one, or her eye's will roll back into her head, but over all she'll look you in the eye during a real orgasm. If a usually quiet lover starts talking dirty or screaming. Some women, myself included, will start yelling out commands or other naughty stuff. Her pussy will be wet and during the orgasm you may feel a tightening. Remember the vagina is a muscle, when a woman orgasms it contracts. This is complete involuntary in a true orgasm. Now ok some women can control their PC muscles and fake this, but a real orgasm the contractions are much stronger than just her flexing her muscles. But over all the best way to tell is if she's has more than one of these things going on at the same time. Espically since some of these can be faked while others can. So if she's flushed, panting, while telling you to fuck her harder, and has a death grip on your cock/ finger/ dildo etc then yeah she's probably having a real honest to god orgasm.

Still not 100% sure? Well ask her. Many women will admit to faking if asked. They are happy to know that you care as much about their pleasure as your own.  If she doesn’t  admit she's faking well then ask her what she likes in the bedroom. It never hurts to share your feelings on this topic. You should be able to talk about things like this it'll help improve your relationship. Also if you are faking then you're missing out on some fun. Tell your partner what trips your trigger, it's better than having to do it yourself all the time.

I have two kids and breastfed both of them, actually I’m still breastfeeding my youngest who’s 16 months. While there are great benefits to doing this there are down sides. While preaching how it’s better for baby they fail to tell you about the physical demand on your body. The doctors, professionals, lactation specialists tell you there will be changes, but you don’t expect the pain that comes with your milk dropping or a blocked milk duct. They will warn you about sore nipples, but explain that to your partner when you won’t let him/her touch them. It gets to the point where the last thing you consider your breasts to be is sexy. They’re these things that hang off your body and you don’t want anyone to touch them or even look at them. But despite how we feel, sex and breastfeeding are connected. No matter how much we want to say that breasts are not sexual during this time, they are.

A woman’s body releases a chemical called oxytocin, not to be confused with OxyContin which is a drug. Oxytocin is the hormone that triggers the let down of milk when an infant nurses. This chemical is also the hormone that causes the uterine contractions during your orgasm. Since sex and breastfeeding are both taboo topics, and lets be honest very few think of them as connected, for many people very few know this link. It may seem weird when you orgasm to spray milk all over your partner, but you never know, they may like it. It really quiet natural for your partner to be curious about your milk. What’s it taste like, what’s the texture? Some guys even find lactation hot. Now you might find it weird or strange that your partner wants to try this.

I’ll be the first to admit I felt a little strange when my husband asked to taste my milk after our daughter was born. It seemed weird that he’d enjoy nursing, but he did and does. When I became pregnant with our son, he kept asking when I’d start lactating. After I did he payed more attention to my breasts than before. Which was kind of nice. I discovered my breasts had become more sensitive than before. He recently asked me if I found him suckling weird. My reply was I didn’t really think about it anymore. Really it’s just something we do during sex, as normal as kissing.

Things may go through your head like will I make enough milk, is he/she stealing the baby’s meal? Nope, don’t worry, it’s a supply and demand thing – the more demanded the more you’ll make.  Or the baby might not want to nurse after but as long as you shower the kid won’t know. Or it’ll weird me out. Well if you like your nipples sucked, just pretend they’re doing that instead. If not then talk it out with your partner, I’m sure they’ll understand. I’m not saying this is for everybody. I’m just saying give it a try. You never know till you try, right?

A few months ago my hubby became obsessed with finding my g-spot, mostly because the depraved man wanted to see if I squirted or not. But he also wanted to bring me the Holy Grail of orgasms that is promised with such a find. Truth be told we had a hellava time finding the little bugger, but it was fun too. Personally I think sex should be fun for who’s ever involved. If you’re not having fun then you’re doing it wrong is my motto, but then I write dirty books for a living so what do I know.

Anyway back to what I was talking about, it did take awhile but we took our time and he enjoyed playing with me until he finally found my g-spot. All I can say is… Wowzers! After feeling like I had to pee for a few seconds, that felt like forever, I had the most earth shaking, muscle clenching, pussy spasming orgasm ever. The hubby was pretty proud of himself too.

Later I got thinking, as I do. I tend to over analyze everything. If I hadn’t known what was coming, would I have told the hubby to stop when I felt like I had to pee? How many women have lost out on those awesome orgasms just because they didn’t know? In my entire life I’ve only had three really awesome orgasms and two were g-spot. Hubby did all three and I’ve yet to be able to replicate any thing even remotely close with a toy. Mostly because I find the g-spot toys hard and uncomfortable, at least the ones I‘ve tried. For a lot of women it’s hard to orgasm, period. Clitoraly or via the g-spot. I think for many the g-spot is even harder cause it’s so damn hard to find, and every woman is different. Their bodies work differently, so what works for me might not work for you or your sister or my sister, etc.

I also have to wonder how many women just gave up, because they couldn’t find it or thought they couldn’t orgasm that way? How many women might think there’s something wrong with them because they can’t find it? But I think the worst might be how many forget to have fun, because they become obsessed with finding that Holy Grail? They forget to just enjoy being with their partner. Enjoy one another, have fun, if you orgasm wonderful if not then just enjoy the time you spend trying.

Most women can’t orgasm if they’re tense or trying to hard anyway so why not just relax and go with the flow, your body will do it’s thing. It knows what it likes and what it doesn’t. Take your time learning and you’ll be surprised at what you discover. Use it as a time of self discovery and/ or let your partner find out things about you he/ she might not have known before. Above all, I can’t stress this enough, is have fun either alone or with somebody enjoy it.