To the men that might float around:

If you tell your whole family that you are dating a specific woman and intend to marry her and start a family, you spend four nights a week in their bed and she’s with you the other three days, and the whole time she is buying your clothes and paying your bills, she is either your girlfriend or your Sugar Mama.

When you turn around and say “We’re just talking,” and you proceed to start dating other people while retaining the benefits of having her around, that makes her your Sugar Mama.

If she agrees to this arrangement without requiring your loyalty, then more power to her. This arrangement works quite well for some people, so I am not one to judge what you do in your private life. Frankly, I long for companionship and love for a lifetime, as opposed to just being in the picture when times are good or someone has an extra dollar to spend.

If you are doing this behind her back, then you are quite possibly the biggest piece of trash ever. No woman deserves to think she is your world when, in reality, you are using her money and/or body for your selfish purposes. Face it, if you think you deserve her money, she deserves your complete candidness when it comes to where your relationship is headed. No woman deserves to be treated like that. Don’t come to me to help you find another woman until you have defined that relationship. Same goes for Sugar Daddies.

To the ladies:

If you find yourself unwittingly in this situation, implement the RLH plan. Run. Like. Hell. I understand that this arrangement works for some people, but if you didn’t plan on being a Sugar Mama, don’t get sad and feel bad.

Face up to the fact that you got used, kick him to the curb, and find a guy worth your time and effort. You are more than an enabler; you are a lover, a nurturer, and a woman with feelings: you deserve to be treated as such!

If this arrangement works for you and you still didn’t know what he was up to, you should reconsider the relationship. If you are spending all your time and effort on a guy who doesn’t care enough about you to be honest with you, what will happen in the future? How many other women is he using or has he used in the past? What’s his history? What’s his future? Where will that leave you down the road if you decide it’s time to have a real relationship, whether it’s with him or someone else? Will he take the fact that your relationship has changed as “ok, that’s fine, do whatever,” or “you’re just gonna quit taking care of me?” Is he gonna stalk you for the rest of your life? These are just some things you need to consider.

But please, by all means, if all this blows up in the face(s) of either one of you, don’t come crying to me.