WotW: Foreplay

Posted by Jessie BethcloseAuthor: Jessie Beth Name:
Email: brandiepotter@gmail.com
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About: Jessie is a late 20’s sex toy reviewer and sex lover. Trying to become more and more active in the sex positive community, she also loves chocolate, Coca-cola and cranberry juice. She prefers brownies to cupcakes, has cats for children and loves studying about human sexuality and fetishes.See Authors Posts (35)

You’ve said it, you know you have. And so have you. And you too over there! You ALL have said it! “This is better than sex.” You’ve said it. And so have I! And I’m sure we’ve all meant it, too. At least at the time, until we’ve had sex again.

My partner and I both agree, and of course this is our opinion, that sex is the icing on the cake. It’s foreplay that’s the whole cake. Most of the time. There are days, hours, minutes, weeks, where fornication is the way to go. The rest of the time however, the fun, sensuality and emotional connection we get from foreplay makes me look forward to that a heck of a lot more than actual intercourse.

Sometimes we can spend an hour and a half enjoying different types of foreplay as a prelude to 10 minutes of mind blowing sex. So often I hear people who talk about foreplay, about how good it is and all that, but all it seems they talk about is cunnilinguis and fellatio. It makes me sad, it really, really does.

There’s been times where I will mention things like erotic dance, sensual massages, even detail out something that can last all day via sexy notes, text messages and photographs but they laugh it off, saying it takes too much time. This is when I get extremely sad.

For me, there’s few things more fun than sending my partner a naughty message via email, Facebook, or another similar means and plan out a seduction while I’m at work. Or just today while sitting in the bus we discussed the chance of a quickie after we got home before we had to leave again. We decided we didn’t have enough time (which we didn’t; lunch ended up having priority) but that certainly got us pent up for sex so messy we needed a shower, tonight. The most fun was why we needed to discuss the possibility of a quickie. We’d been teasing each other while waiting for the bus, licking each other’s faces. As silly as it sounds, it was fun, we giggled and laughed, chased each other around a bit, held hands and enjoyed the odd glances we got from others. And, despite the lack of intention; that was foreplay. Wonderful and silly foreplay.

Foreplay isn’t just dildos and oral sex. It’s looks, kisses in your “happy spots,” wearing that oh-so-sexy skirt, leaving your panties off and letting him know it, sensual massage, a shake of your ass and so many more things. And yes, some of these things do indeed take extra time. Erotic dance can indeed be difficult and time consuming, sex toys can be expensive and sure sometimes your best efforts lead to more laughs than orgasms. But instead of focusing on what you didn’t get, look at what you did get. You had fun! You got to spend some amazing time with your partner(s). You got the incredible stress relief of laughter and probably got to learn a thing or two about not only your partner, but yourself.

Who knows, maybe you found something new that turns you on! Maybe you found something; a kink, a new position, a toy or something else that you want to explore further. Foreplay is so much more than a prelude to sex. It’s an entity in and of itself.

It’s more than physical though. It’s emotional. Especially when you look at things like sensual massage, erotic dances and a whole romantic evening. You get to spend all that time focusing on giving your partner pleasure. Or, if you happen to be on the receiving end, you are the one getting all that attention!

Feeling that you’re worth all that time and effort is an amazing thing. Things that are part of our foreplay sexuality is light bondage, wax play and lots of sex toys. We enjoy making games of it sometimes, my partner seeing how many toys he can use on me at once. Typically this game leads to double penetration a clit toy and also nipple clamps. He also likes to see how many small orgasms he can give me before I cry mercy needing a minute to recoup.

For me it’s the joy of exploration. Due to a spinal injury his skin is either oversensitive or not sensitive at all. So I enjoy exploring his body, finding ways to give him tactile pleasure without overwhelming him. Even if all I do is ending up tickling him, it’s certainly worth the joy of touching his skin, the emotional connection of spending that one-on-one time with each other and the simple fun of exploring my partner’s body.

So try something new. Play a sex game, give your partner a sensual massage or try something you’ve never considered before. Light bondage, a blindfold or a new sex toy? Try it and see what happens. Maybe you’ll love it! Maybe you won’t, but all least you’ll have tried it.