Anyone that knows me knows that I am very far from straight. I do perform at a lot of gay and LGBT events as a DJ. But I am married to a straight man that I love with all my heart. I bring him along when I’m doing shows, except the ones that are for people who gender identify as female.

Usually my husband is the only heterosexual person at these events. He loves going to these shows because a lot of his good friends are a part the gay community. He usually just hangs out, talks, and maybe has a drink with his buddies.

A number of years ago, I was DJing at a queer kink event and my husband came with me. Before I started performing, I was sitting down with the couple that was running the event. For the most part, the three of us were talking about how to describe my very straight husband at this event.And yes, there was gay porn on the video screens, and gay and lesbian kink happening all over the place. And my husband was totally fine with everything.

The two of them came up with the term heteroqueer. They came up with its meaning as well.

My two friends decided that it meant any heterosexual who is totally comfortable with their sexuality; that gay sex can happen right in front of them and it doesn’t phase them at all. Heteroqueers are also the straight people that are part of the gay-rights movement.

My folks would also be seen as heteroqueer. They are both very active in the gay-rights movement, and I know my dad wants to march in one of the pride parades with the friends and families of people who identify as queer. Someday he will do it with my mom.

The word heteroqueer did start in the kink world out here, but it’s being picked up and used in other communities as well. It is even keeping the original definition and is used as a compliment to someone’s open-mindedness.

My husband happily wears the title as a badge of honor.