Honestly I am not as giving as I could or should be.  Writing these things for the holidays and having the gift card money donated to a good cause is probably about as much as I will or have ever done without being asked to do it. I usually try to insist that my parents stop getting me gifts because that money could be better used else where. Like paying the electric bill or buying food. But they don’t listen. So if I don’t request something then they give me money.

But there are others things you can give without spending money. Like time, you can simply show up and help out or maybe entertain your loved ones. To me Thanksgiving and Christmas have always been the biggest holidays and the others I just don’t give a shit about. But those two are big family gather times. So sometimes showing up is more important than giving things.

But sometimes giving something more is a way to let someone know how much you love them. This is where the thought that goes into a gift should count more than the actual value of the item. Like giving a person a CD because you are pretty sure the music will be enjoyed. When buying someone else a book by their favorite author. I hate to go into as much detail as I want to go into on this because it would certainly give me away.

Giving can mean so many things though and there are different things to give and reasons to do it. I don’t know that giving has a particular meaning for me. It’s something you should do out of friendship or love. But some people do it because they want something in return. Sometimes a person will give things because they want recognition for being better then they perceive themselves as being. Other times a person will give something to put the other person in a position of inferiority. Kind of like saying I gave you something better then you could give me. Then there are going to be people that think this is the only way to show love.

I will say that the media does a lot to make people think that buying someone a TV or a car shows more caring than giving the same person a hug and a kiss. Giving good memories should be more than giving expensive garbage. If I was rich then I could buy everyone I like a new car or a house. But that doesn’t mean I love them. It would certainly get me admiration for a certain amount of time. But it can also put a high expectation on what is expected from you in the future. Competition can be a good thing but what about when you are competing with yourself.

I really can’t think of much to say about this. This is another thing I really don’t think about that often because I am trying to get through my life. All I know for sure is I will always try to be home with family for these two important holidays. I hope I will always give my love to my family and that it will be well received. Being a person who is distant I know I probably do not always convey the love I feel. Because of that sometimes when I make gestures it perceived in a bigger way then I expected it to be. But this is who I am and I will probably continue to be thrown by how people react to good things I do. From a gift I give or a gesture like a hug. I will likely never know what to expect a person’s reaction to be.