What’s In A Word?
Posted by Jul!a
Why did some words become offensive when others didn’t? What makes these ‘bad’ words so much worse or even all that different from other words? Who decided that we needed to even be able to insult people anyway, and what words were going to become ‘insulting’?
These are questions that I’ve asked myself for a very long time. I’ve even asked friends, family, boyfriends, co-workers. Nobody seems to have a real answer. I mean, there’s nothing physical about a word. It’s just there. The most physical it can get is in print. And even then, papercuts aren’t all that offensive.
A word can’t come up to you and slap you in the face. It can’t trip you and laugh as you try to walk down the hallway. It can’t come chasing after your car with a golf club. But still, words seem to cause more harm to people than many physical actions. Words cause more tears, more emotional turmoil, more heartache. How did words get so much power? I know that’s a major form of communication, but still, what backs these words that causes so many different emotions?
I suppose it’s the emotions themselves that create all this havoc associated with words. Emotions are the driving force behind almost every action, and words are the way to express emotions since others can’t feel what you’re feeling. But why can’t we all just take things objectively and at face value?
I’ve been called a lot of names in my time. I think one of my favorites was when I received some comments from people sicced on me by somebody I got into an altercation with. I got at least a dozen people calling me a fat ugly bitch. All words right? They didn’t hurt me, not in the least. I’ll accept being called a bitch, I really don’t think that’s all that much of an insult to be honest. Calling me ugly, whatever. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I might find some things attractive that you find repulsive. Big deal. The only one I took issue with was being called fat, and not because I’m watching my weight, but because these people felt the need to call somebody who weighs 105 pounds fat. All words that can be so offensive, and most of the time you see them being used is by people too insecure to realize that they don’t have enough confidence in themselves to have these words mean anything to anybody.
Words can’t beat you down. Words can’t cause you physical harm. Words can’t rip the covers off in the middle of the night, stuff you into a locker, or key your car. Words can only hurt us if we let them hurt us, so why let them?
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I don’t disagree with you, but I’m assuming your post will open a can of worms. Be warned.
If people didn’t allow themselves to become so offended over words, many people would have nothing to bitch about. Drama is king, after all.
It’s really society (“majority rules”), and a seriously warped sense of morality, that confines specific words to the “bad” category. I agree in most situations it’s silly.
From your example, they probably called you a “fat ugly bitch” to get a rise out of you or hurt you. Who has the power there? It isn’t the person saying the words, it’s you.
The easiest way to turn tables on people like that is to simply not care what they say. From their perspective it’ll be like they’re screaming into a hurricane (or continuing on the analogy kick, it’s like shooting a gun with no ammo).
You’re really dealing with two different issues here, but you make good points. I’ve often felt and written about the idea that bad words even exist is a ludicrous idea.
A word itself shouldn’t be designated as good or bad. But the other issue you address is the meaning behind words and that’s a bit different.
Granted, there is much communication out there that just simply shouldn’t be taken personally. However, words are how we convey our feelings about one another to each other. With words I can convey my love or my contempt, ridicule, mocking, appreciation or respect.
These words are interpreted by the receiver and internalized. We are only human, we are going to do this, especially when the person passing on the words is meaningful to us. Knowing that someone appreciates us or does not appreciate us in some way has an effect. Shutting out negative messages is certainly a skill worth cultivating and can do wonders for your state of mind and self-worth. The world would be a much happier place if we could all shut out the negativity directed toward us all the time.
The key to making that work is to find ways to replace the negative with positive, seek out those who give positivity and also find it in yourself. That’s the real way to inoculate yourself from negative communication that hurts you.
One last thing about words causing physical harm… there has been some study of the affect of words, intent and consciousness with some interesting results…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAvzsjcBtx8
I definitely see your point, and I wanted to thank you for the link as well. That is actually a really really interesting video. So they just sat there and directed thoughts at forming snowflakes? I’d be really interested in seeing how the experiment was set up as well, but I find stuff like this fascinating.
That was a beautiful video and I agree with what you’ve said.
We can try to block out negativity, but in a way we would numb ourselves to positivity too. You have to feel one emotion to know the other.
The same point I’ve been trying to make for years. Glad to know someone else feels the same. Thanks for the read. =)
You’re exactly right. WE give words power. A word is only as insulting as you let it be. You can talk about someone till you’re blue in the face but if at the end of the day the person ignores you then you’ve done nothing more than waste your time and a whole lot of air.
I think it’s a preprogramed response in people. To respond to tone and emotion. Example the tone sharp, the emotion is angry, and the words are directed at me therefore I am ‘meant’ to either become hurt or angry. But this only works if you let it.
Thanks for the entry I loved thinking about a response.
This is a great article. Some people like to get offended and make a hobby out of looking for opportunities to unleash their indignation. But I agree, words only have power to hurt us if we let them. Sometimes it’s just hard to not let them.