The Hubby and I have been married for over six years now, together for eight and a half. I love him dearly, but marriage isn’t always easy. It’s definitely something we have to work at. Our physical relationship is no different.

I’m not saying that, even though I call it work, it’s something I hate. I don’t always enjoy working on our relationship, that’s for sure, but it’s worth it to me in the end. We took vows to love and cherish each other, through good times and bad, until the end of our lives.

We have definitely had our ups and downs. Our marriage seems to have been one test after another, after another. All that stress does a number on one’s sex drive, too. And the lack of sex in a marriage, makes it that much more difficult.

Between the times when we don’t like each other (which means no sex), and the times that we’re freaking exhausted from whatever other stressors are going on (which means no sex), there’s honestly not a lot of sex being had here. Go ahead. Commence with the shock and gasps. Hello, my name is Teagan Shepard, and I’m a sex blogger, and I don’t have much sex with my husband.

But when we do have sex, it’s pretty great. Maybe it’s that absence makes the heart grow fonder thing. Who knows. But after so many years together, and hopefully plenty more to come, he knows my body almost as well as I do, and can do wonderful things to it. That works the other way around, too.

There are a few things, however, that we do to keep things interesting. I’ll try to provide a few suggestions. Feel free to implement them as you see fit. Some may work for you, some might not. Don’t get upset if it doesn’t. If it doesn’t work out for you at first, perhaps try it again if you are so inclined, but if not, no harm done. Right?

First, try a new position every now and then. If you always have sex in standard ol’ Missionary position, try changing the angle of the bottom’s legs. Try pulling one or both legs up in the air, either on the shoulders of the top, catching the headboard with your toes (my favorite), or use a sex sling to hold them up and you won’t have to do as much work!

Also, I like this Little (Bit Naughty) Book of Sex Positions. We actually bought this book on our honeymoon, and I still have it. There aren’t a whole lot of sex positions in it, but it’s pretty helpful in showing how to do them without being expensive. It’s in the $10 ballpark. Every once in a while we get it out and try something different.

There are lots of bedroom games you can try for a little something different. Even if it doesn’t end in a big ‘O’, you can still have a good laugh and have fun together. You might even learn something new about your partner!

Of course, you can always pick out some new lingerie. Sometimes, something as simple as a new nightie can make a date night steamy. Simply let your partner see you lay out what you are going to wear. Perhaps even let them see you get dressed. They’ll be thinking about undressing you all night!

And of course, what article for a sex toy store would be complete if I didn’t say that it’s quite alright to add in some sex toys, here and there! If you’re a first-time toy buyer, there are a ton of us around here that would love to help you out with choosing a good fit for your goals. I highly recommend starting with a good lube and a decent vibrator (one that’s not too large or phallic if you feel it might intimidate your partner) to introduce into partnered sex. Massage items aren’t a bad idea either, and may be a better bridge into other novelties for your particular situation.

I find it has been highly beneficial for us to take regular time without our precious Kiddo, such as date nights. Nothing works better for us, emotionally and physically, than getting away for a night or two to forget about stress and reconnect. It’s not far for us to run to the Gulf Coast or New Orleans, and spend a little time out with great food and atmosphere. We also recently went to Chicago to take in some Cubs and Bulls games. That was a wonderful time for us because we were able to focus on each other and have fun. Even if TSA did screw up some of my toys.

I really hope you find some tip (or tips) here that help you in some way. I wish you many more years with the love of your life, just as I am looking forward to growing old with mine.