I’ve been kinky for a long time. I’ve been in a couple of long term kink relationships, and way more kink scenes than I can even count. I’m solidly kinky and have had the bruises to prove it. So when I recently broke up with my boyfriend (who I had a 24/7 TPE relationship with) I didn’t really even think about vanilla dating. I knew what I liked and how I liked it. What vanilla guy could even catch my interest?! Or so I thought…

I didn’t really plan it. Honestly, I didn’t. I didn’t even want to like anyone for a while, a long while. I was happily getting my slut on, by sleeping with as many people as my work schedule would permit. I fucked one guy who was great in bed, and kinky as all hell. His name was Mike and we clicked immediately on a personal level.

Well, Mike told me about his best friend, and how he thought that we would hit it off. He told me that his best friend had seen my pictures on Twitter and FetLife, and thought I was the bee’s knees. Okay, maybe he didn’t word it like that, but that was the gist. So now Mike was pimping me out to his best friend. I didn’t mind, I was trying to fuck as much as possible. So adding another guy to my current rotation wasn’t going to be a bad thing. There was only one catch, so said Mike, the best friend wasn’t kinky. I didn’t mind, I honestly didn’t think the friend would catch my interest much, so what was the harm of giving his cock a ride or two?

Well the friend and I started interacting on Twitter a bit, then it moved to text messaging, then we finally set up a night where we were both free. I was excited, he was a different breed of guy than I was used to. I mean, sure I’m used to the kinky fucks, but this wasn’t just about his attitude about sex, it was about him and his personality.

Our first “date” we went to a strip club, and it was actually my first visit to a strip club. We had a great time, and by the end of our time at the club we had hit it off really well. The car ride back to his place was filled with actual conversation, not just mindless fuck talk. It wasn’t about saying all the right things. It was genuine conversation that exposed faults and a person, instead of an ideal.

When we got back to his place the hotness revved up to intense proportions. Our sexual chemistry just clicked. We went multiple times that night; each time we were both left smiling and satisfied. The next morning I went to work happy. It was a good sexual experience, one that I wanted to repeat, a surprise for me. I was so caught up in labels, kinky versus vanilla, that I forgot that sexual chemistry can come in all sorts of packages.

We started texting, talking; I wrote a blog. As he put it, “our genitals were smitten with each other”. But it went beyond just sex; I was thinking that I *liked* him. He could make me laugh, easily. He was nice, he was damn good in bed, and had that dapper charm that so many lack these days.

So we met up again, as soon as we could. I met him five days after our first fuck. The urgency and excitement of seeing and fucking a specific person is something that was new to me. I usually care about the fuck. I usually get horny based on the person. But I was excited to see him, it was just… different. It was about the person just as much as it was about the sex.

So after fucking, we were basking in the after sex glow and talking about various things. The conversation got started about liking each other, and while I was not about to admit first that I liked him, I was willing to be as giddy as a schoolgirl (on the inside) when he told me he liked me. I admitted that I liked him too, something that wasn’t easy for me to do.

Liking someone wasn’t on my agenda. Liking someone who is vanilla was not on my agenda. But I can make room for pleasant surprises, great sex, smiles, sweet text messages, and opening my mind, any day. He has surprised me, and shown me that maybe putting someone in a set of expectations just because they are/aren’t kinky isn’t right. Nothing is as it seems. I don’t know where it is going. We could see each other next week, and things could fizzle out. Things happen for a reason, and I’m just so happy to have my eyes open to the fact that vanilla doesn’t always mean they have to go into the “uninterested” column. I have vanilla interests too.