Valentine’s Day, a Reminder of Love

Posted by Mistress Kay

As my boyfriend and I are both college kids, it can be near-impossible to keep the romance going sometimes. Living together while I have a job, we both do full-time college, and deal with two different extra-curriculars (not to mention our specific hobbies and our parents) can be a daunting task in itself. How, might you ask, do we manage to keep any sort of semblance of a romantic life going at the same time?

Well, it’s been hard. Within the last couple of days, we’ve been fighting quite a bit. It usually comes down to something small like him leaving the case to one of my toyboxes open. It doesn’t help that I’m stubborn and refuse to admit defeat. Even the smallest defeat is hard for me to admit. Luckily, he tends to admit things are his fault even when they aren’t just for the sake of our relationships. Even after I went to work angry, I came home to find that he had made Mac and cheese, put a votive on the table, and used our plastic flowers to make a romantic meal. (Yeah, that’s college-kid style.)

What’s this have to do with Valentine’s Day? Well, we’ll take any chance at a “holiday” that we can. After all of the stress of life, it’s nice to be able to take a break and be able to celebrate – even if it’s something as silly as Valentine’s Day. We do try to be romantic year-round, but it doesn’t always work as well as we’d like it to. Sometimes emotions get in the way, sometimes the mounting piles of homework make it impossible. Valentine’s Day is that reminder that it’s important to put those things aside and make time for one another.

I really do envy some of the couples that have been together for so many years but still have the romance in their relationship. It certainly isn’t easy, and we’ve only been together for two years. I can’t imagine how much things are going to change as the anniversaries continue to pass us by. I think my Marriage and Family class taught me that the average relationship age for a divorce is actually around seven years – just when the marriage starts to become a little more monotonous. How do people manage to keep it together so long? I think it probably is the romance.

While Valentine’s Day is a good day to make us remember about how much we love our partner, it shouldn’t be the only day out of the year that we go out of the way for each other. If I’m out at work, I sometimes bring home my boyfriend’s favorite Subway sandwich. If he goes shopping while I’m at work, he’ll pick up something he knows I’ll love. Sometimes I leave him little notes for him to discover after he wakes up if I end up leaving for work before he’s out of bed. He accepts my sudden obsession with sex toys, and I love him for his odd love of all video games. We’ll do our own thing all day then cuddle up at night to watch tv shows. And no matter what the day or how busy we are, the awake partner always kisses the sleeping one before leaving for classes.

I don’t know who ever created the idea that relationships were easy, but it’s a problem that’s really out-there now. A lot of us think that once we find our true love everything will fall into place. While it’s a great romantic gesture, it’s not quite true. To have that amazing relationship – to have that comfortable marriage with one another – it all takes work that can sometimes be the last thing you want to do. We’ve managed it so far. I just have to wonder what the futures holds and how much work it will take to keep it a great one.

I think Valentine’s Day is an important reminder for the two of us. This year, we’re not sure what we’re planning yet, but we do know that we’re planning to do it together. Maybe we’ll go out to a restaurant or maybe I’ll just set the homework and laptop aside to play a video game with him. Either way, it’s only important that we spend that valuable time together so we don’t drift apart. Those small holidays really do help us remember why we love each other.

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