I’ve honestly been thinking about what I’m thankful for for quite a while now.  Some things that I’ve gone through since moving to San Francisco has really made me realize that I had things easy back home.  Really, really easy.  I’ve realized that in the end, the majority of my most recent problems back home were all my fault.

After we moved I ended up having to give up my very, very well paying job.  (Extenuating circumstances.)  This created an incredible financial bind of the likes I’d never experienced. We were without food, we couldn’t pay any of our bills, and D couldn’t find a job.  We had to borrow money just to survive.  Now, this is a situation that I’d never been in before and it’s affected me greatly.  I have a whole new appreciation of things; food, toilet paper, bills paid on time.  D however grew up poor; he grew up in situations worse than we were in.  So he handled it better than I am.

When things got touch, I honestly was ready to move back home.  I was ready to pack up my stuff and my cats, call my mom and let her pay my way back home and live with her while I got back on my feet.  Or with a friend if I had to.  Of course D didn’t want to move; he wasn’t feeling the stress as much as I was and not only did this give me a whole new type of respect for him, it made me realize a few things about myself that I didn’t really like.

Today I’m thankful for everything I have; my food, my tissues, my laundry detergent.  It’s weird actually because I’ve sort of gone into “stock up” mode, ya know?  I get paranoid if I don’t have an extra bottle and package of everything; soap, toilet paper, dishwasher detergent, cat litter.  D’s a little better about it than I am.

I get thankful for every time I can go to the grocery store and not have to pay in nickels and dimes.  I have a whole new outlook on most beggars. (Aww come on, it’s obvious that some are doing it for the wrong reasons.)  I came close to doing the same thing.  I am even more thankful for my job.   I’m even thankful for being a sex toy reviewer; can’t beat free stuff!

However, I think I’ve become most thankful for my mom.  I have gotten a whole new respect for her after going through all this drama and being separated from her by 2,000 miles.  Part of me is grateful I was that far removed from her; had she found out just how bad thing were…well, it would have been bad.  However, it’s given me a clearer view to see just how much it means to her to be able to take care of me; even if it’s sending me a box with batteries, chap stick, a tank top and a box of tissues in it.

If nothing else, I’ve learned a whole new meaning to the phrase “It’s the small things that matter.” Sometimes, it really is.