I’m just gonna put this out there. Life’s far too short, with too few magnificent opportunities, to be so insanely obsessed with never “settling”.

I know… I know. The feminist propaganda, and self-help books, and Dr. Phil all say differently. “Take what you want!” they say. “Seize the day!” “Don’t ever settle for anything less than what you desire!” Screw everyone else in the world you have to step on along the way. Like your partner. Your children. Your best friend’s sister’s cousin twice removed who you only met that once after your best friend’s sister’s cousin’s niece’s communion.

There’s this trend in society that has been steamrolling its way through all classes, races, religions and regions, and it’s really kind of disgusting. Some call it the “Me Generation”, and they’re looking at the 17 – 20 somethings as though it hasn’t spread like wildfire through the Baby Boomers, Generation X and Y, and everything in between, before and after. Everybody wants their rights honored and they don’t give a damn about whether or not your rights are honored because they’re the only person in this world that matters.

Honey, I am here to tell you, it’s not all about you. And “it” is equivalent to “everything”. Nothing is all about you. Except maybe your birthday, and your masturbation sessions. And even those, depending on circumstances, sometimes have to be about someone else. Isn’t that just utter bullshit?

I was a fairly lucky kid, in that my parents made sure I went to rather progressive schools. Progressive public schools, if you can believe it. They’re few and far between but they do exist. Or at least they did when I was in school.

In every school I attended, except the one owned by the Church of Christ, the curriculum left room for free thinking and personal belief. My parents made sure of it. And if it weren’t for the fact that the school board was constantly in jeopardy of having to close its doors when we lived in that area, I would have been moved to a different school the minute I started complaining about being told what to think. Because try as they may, most Christian private schools can’t help themselves when faced with the opportunity to preach to teenagers in a class called “Religion Studies”.

And while all of the schools I went to taught us about history and government, they stressed to us that trampling anyone’s rights for any reason was bad. I got this super cool idea in my head of a world where everyone could live how they wanted. There would be peace, love and happiness everywhere!

But then I met people who feel it’s their right to be better, richer, healthier, whatever than everyone else. Who want to have everything for themselves, and aren’t really concerned with whether or not anyone else has anything. How do you honor their rights? Put the criminals in their charge? I’m not sure that would work out.

“Survival of the fittest” looks more like “survival of me”. And hey, whatever. Maybe it’s just another version. But it doesn’t just stop at our views on society.

I have these friends who are constantly in and out of relationships, or at least fights with their partners. They talk about refusing to settle and having their needs met. They throw tantrums about their partner not caring what they want and never doing anything nice for them. They’ll go on and on about what they want, and what they need, and what they demand… and never once mention what their partner needs. Or their children. Or their friends. And they can’t figure out why the sex sucks, or the conversations fall flat, or the presents stop flowing freely.

“Yesterday, I went to the mall, and I bought myself three new blouses, a couple skirts, a new pair of jeans and some adorable bra and panty sets. And then, I went online and I ordered three vibrators, a massage kit, some new bath stuff, and this awesome new dildo that just came out. And tomorrow I’m going to the jewelry store. They’ve got this gorgeous ring that I just have to have. But tonight, when I get home, I’m climbing in the tub, and lighting some candles and locking the door. And if anybody bothers me, I’m gonna chop their heads off. My husband’ll be home in a little while. He can cook, and clean, and help the kids with their homework.”

Which, on an occasional basis, is no big deal. Everyone needs to be pampered (or pamper themselves) sometimes. But later that week, it’s, “You know, everything I do for these assholes, and you’d think they’d do something nice for me once in a while. I cook. I clean. I make sure everyone has everything they need. I’m going to the mall to do something nice for myself for a change.” and the cycle starts all over again, with Mom never quite remembering that hubby did all the cooking and cleaning this week while she went to the mall, and shopped online for sex toys, and lounged in the bathtub, and didn’t even throw him a bone somewhere in the middle.

It’s not all about you. And I’m sorry you’re stressed, but I’m willing to bet… No, I’ll guaran-damn-tee you that your family is stressed, too. So next time you need to decompress, or be seduced, consider that. And maybe figure out how to take care of them while you’re taking care of you. I promise, you won’t regret it.