I wish society would stop touting marriage as the ultimate commitment. I don’t find anything special or particularly noteworthy of any couple that marries. And I’m definitely not impressed by people who get married. They’re no different than an unmarried committed couple. I’m not going to afford them any extra respect. And yet that’s seems to be an unwritten rule: If a couple is married you treat them differently. Why? What makes married couples so nifty? They stood up before friends and family and swore love until death do they part and exchanged rings? Whoop-de-fucking-do. Oh, wait, that’s right—they’re afforded certain privileges, such as tax benefits and the chance to share insurance. They’re also financially securing any children they have or will have. But you know what? Unmarried couples can do the same. But the government makes it a bit harder on single people, as do insurance companies. It’s all to ensure that people follow the traditional route and get married. Well, I say fuck that.

If it’s not about the insurance or the other financial benefits, then why get married? In case you didn’t know, divorce is expensive and—if things go sour between the couple—can be messy and difficult. It’s easier if you’re an unmarried couple, except when you get into common law situations. Married couples are just as likely to break up as any another couple. Why make it harder on yourself? The cost and potential messiness of divorce is sometimes what keeps an unhappy married couple together. Marriage is really just a risky business deal.

When I mention this to married folk, I tend to get the whole, “We made a commitment of our hearts not just our money!” Really? That can’t be accomplished without marriage? But if the first thing I mention is how you can have a committed, loving relationship without being married, I get the whole financial benefits spiel. Either way you approach it, a lot of married couples are determined to fiercely defend their marriage. Which I can understand, to a certain point. In their minds, these people have made the “ultimate commitment” to their partner, and whether or not they admit it, they see the sanctity of their marriage as something that should never be questioned.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t go around bashing people for being married and not every couple thinks they’re special for having tied the knot. But a lot of them do and it’s absurd. The government certainly thinks married couples are better than unmarried ones. Of course, I don’t think the government should have anything to do with marriage. You shouldn’t get special tax benefits because you’re married. Or if you have kids, for that matter. If I had my druthers, marriage would be abolished.

While I think the typical arguments against gays getting married are bullshit, I don’t support gay marriage. But then I don’t support marriage period. I don’t understand the urge to get married. I understand wanting to spend your life with someone, but that’s where it ends. And if I ever reach a point in a relationship where I seriously consider marriage, I hope a friend or loved one is there to slap some sense into me.

If I knew a friend was getting married, I’d strongly encourage them to have a pre-nup done. Protect your belongings and money, people. You can say you love and trust your partner all you want, but people and their hearts can change and abysmal endings do happen to couples who were initially trusting and loving. People decry pre-nups as unromantic or a sign of commitment issues. I call it covering your ass should the unexpected happen and you’re left with nothing but your name. And if you take your spouse’s last name, even that is a costly hassle to have undone should divorce occur. I know some of you married folks are thinking, “But that’ll never happen to us! We love each other so much and would never hurt the other. We have the best relationship that’s ever existed!” Then you’ve got to stop and wonder, how many divorcees thought the exact same things when they got married?

I’m sure I’m pissing off a few married couples with this post, but I can’t say I really care. I don’t have a problem with you making a financial commitment to each other and your spawn no matter how ill conceived I think that decision is. Good on you if you don’t think your relationship is any better than an unmarried couples’. But personal feelings aside, society still thinks the ultimate commitment of head and heart (and wallet) is marriage. If one half of a couple wants to get married and the other doesn’t, the resisting one is labeled a commitment-phobe and gets lambasted for being afraid of commitment. They are treated like there is something wrong with them. People are pressured into getting married which is such a great way to start a marriage, don’t ya think? But the ones who do the pressuring just laugh it off as cold feet. Sure, some people are simply just afraid of marriage but really do want to take the plunge. But some are given no option, and if they leave the relationship, they get branded with the commitment-phobe label from then on.

So can we please, as a society, get the fuck over marriage and stop putting it on a pedestal? If you’re a would-be married person and you know me personally, please don’t get pissy when I’m unimpressed when you tell me you’re engaged or if I decline attending your wedding. And for the love of fuck don’t expect me to think your relationship with your spouse is special. I doubt I’ll even congratulate you. And that is awkward, the expected expression of congratulations. I’ve said it automatically in the past because it’s been ingrained into our minds that an impending marriage is to be congratulated. Anymore I simply say, “OK,” much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. But, you know, I just have commitment issues.