When I was younger, and I assure you that I say that with a sense of irony because my younger days aren’t that far in the past, I remember when things weren’t so black and white in our culture, when beauty wasn’t about being shockingly thin and having numerous plastic surgeries to achieve their ideal of perfection.

I do assume that I was more idealistic, but then my world changed. I was just getting into middle school surrounded with petite young ladies much thinner than myself. I remember a conversation in the cafeteria where a younger boy looked at me and commented on me being fat. I hadn’t realized this, or even thought of myself in this manner. I’d hear the girls in the locker room calling out their sizes and swapping their jeans. “Oh I’m a size 0.” With a child-like naivety I’d respond, “My jeans are a size 6.” Silence. I was only 11 years old.

Years passed and I grew into my own, but my wide hips and large 5’5 frame made me feel like I wasn’t the equal of those around me. My best friends weren’t much thinner or taller than me, but still I felt I paled in comparison. By the age of 16, I was on anti-depressants which morphed my metabolism and my size into a shameful (in my eyes) size 20.

I’d rocket from sizes 20 to size 12 to size 15 in different seasons and years, but as I grew older and wiser I came to appreciate my body more and more. Be it out of pure stubbornness to admit that I am in any way malformed or a lesser human being even though bombarded with imagery and commercials which beg to differ, or the constant support and strength of my family. I’ve gotten stronger and happier, but there are times where I still come across many people who look upon me badly, but I take much pride in my figure. Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, you know? She also had a similar hourglass figure.

Still looking for a man who can appreciate my hips, but I don’t wish to hide them or change them for anyone. I might not be the ideal for most men looking to bed Kate Moss or Heidi Klum, but I’m much more than a size, much more than my weight, and much more than they can handle.

In writing this article, I hope to encourage and reach out to women with my similar struggles and fears, and letting them know that it’s ok. Everyone has those things they don’t like about themselves, I, myself, used to equate being thin with being happy, but I realize that it’s not something I should stress to achieve and beat myself up when it doesn’t happen overnight. I feel that I am healthy at my size 14, and happy. I wouldn’t trade these hips, that I swore against many years before, for anything in the world. In the years to come, they will do their part to cradle a life then carry it into this world.

Be proud of your body, the way that it is. There isn’t another one like it and it is indeed special.