Exes are something we all have to deal with in relationships. Whether it be your ex, or your partner’s ex, they are all there looming in the past. My Daddy [my boyfriend who I affectionately call Daddy] has the ex that looms in our relationship.

My emotions and thoughts that relate to her are here, there, everywhere. Catch me on one day and I will tell you that she is a good person who I sympathize with. Catch me on a bad day and I will tell you… well, I will tell you not very nice things. Trust me, I’ve had hours worth of discussions with friends about her. We discuss the good, the bad and the ugly – mostly the bad and ugly though.

There are many reasons for the dislike that I feel. Only a couple of which I will go into. The first that comes to my mind is that I did not realize how involved they were. I am not saying that my boyfriend lied or anything, but there was no reason to tell me. When we first started getting to know each other, it was just as two people talking on the net. I asked if he was married or dating anyone and he said he had a sort of friends with benefits thing going on. It was an understandable thing to say considering we had only been talking less than a month at that point.

Then when we got serious he told me about her a bit more. It was clear that they were more serious than FWB. She, and her daughters [from a previous relationship], had lived with him even. That means serious to me. He started telling me more about her and the relationship because she had a very hard time letting him go. She would drive by his house after midnight and call him crying about where he was if his truck wasn’t in the driveway. I pretty much labeled her as obsessive and crazy at that point. She had young kids at home yet she was driving by her ex-boyfriend’s house to check up on him? It didn’t sound like something a sane person would do. However, I lived thousands miles apart at this point, so there wasn’t too much she could do to butt into our relationship. In the same vein though, because of the distance between my boyfriend and I at that point, she thought that our relationship wasn’t real so she could continue to try to get him back.

Then I moved in with him, and I found all of the toys that they used together [or she used by herself.]. That was a really hard moment for me. It was nothing she did personally, but the confrontation that she was that serious with my boyfriend hurt. I ended up stopping after only going through about three objects because I started crying. He ended up putting her stuff in a drawer of our desk, and there it sat.

Then I was confronted by the fact one night that she was calling him ‘Daddy’ still. To be honest that pissed me off more than anything else. You see, I’m involved with some kinky things, and the term ‘Daddy’ is very personal to me. Some people call their ‘D’ type Master, Sir, Lord, Captain, etc. I call mine Daddy. It is something that I hold dear to my heart. The fact that she was still using that term hurt me. I felt very alone that night. Very lied to. I couldn’t understand why she thought she still had the right to call him that. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t correcting her! But, she was going through a medical issue and I am told that she reverted back to calling him ‘Daddy’ during that. I don’t know if that was the case, or if she had been calling him ‘Daddy’ the whole time. After the medical issue was solved, I am told that he told her to stop calling him ‘Daddy’. I am also told that at this time she doesn’t do so anymore. The only reason I say I am told is because it is what I am told, no way for me to verify it. I don’t talk to her, nor does she call him when he is at home with me.

There was also a ‘thing’ where he bought a plane ticket to go see her and didn’t tell me about it. He didn’t end up going [switched the destination to see his family] but I felt extremely lied to in that instance. Especially because the ticket was bought while I was living here, and yet he still didn’t tell me.

She has also asked him to be ‘married to’ as a relationship status on facebook. The married to request was made after he had ended the relationship and when I was living here. Also, they were NEVER married. They were never even engaged. That to me, shows that she is a bit… well, I don’t want to put an adjective there so fill it in with what you would think.

She isn’t a bad person though. I hear that she is a good mother. I am told that she has a good personality. She got her heart broken. That can make anyone a bit… off.
Sometimes when I think about her I almost feel scared. I mean, she fell in love with him, just like I did. She lived with him, just like I DO. I don’t want to wind up in her position. And it is times that I think about that, that I feel sorry for her and almost like her.

It is the times where she is delusional that I dislike her.

Remember the drawer of toys I talked about earlier? I packed up that drawer with all of her toys in it recently. With each toy that I put in the box I got a bit lighter. I realized that I am not her. I won’t go down the same path. I am a completely different person. I have no reason to be threatened by a woman who he does not want to have a relationship with.

So, I am FINALLY over my issues regarding her. That’s not saying I won’t get a flair-up every now and again. However, I can say with confidence, that she doesn’t bother me anymore.