As an active sex toy reviewer, there are times it is prudent to say no and then there are times where it is impossible to say anything but yes. The chocolate cock was the latter. Chocolate cock was something new, something I’d never tried out nor even seen in my wanderings – a silicone penis extension. So of course I said yes, of course I wanted to review it. Duh.

But now, here’s the thing. At the time Chocolate Cock was offered, I was in a different country than my husband. And although we are poly and enjoy certain levels of open-ness, PiV sex – penis extension or no – was not something I had access to. What I did have access to, however, was an enthusiastic test subject – a fellow I am calling Paul. Paul was kind enough to be the shipping address (I was living with my parents, and was not interested in explaining packages). He was CRAZY excited about this toy, and when it arrived, sent me an amusingly racy text message about a fresh chocolate cock waiting for me at his place.

After getting the green light from my husband to play around with the chocolate cock (without actual intercourse) with Paul, we set up a date to do just that. Being the cool poly cat that he is, Paul didn’t even try on Chocolate Cock till I told him that it was OK with my husband, despite looking up and memorizing the instructions on how to don. Once given the all clear, we got down to business trying to get Chocolate Cock in place. Or rather, Paul go down to business – I sat back and observed.

And oh – how he struggled. He had this crazy idea whereby he was supposed to squeeze Chocolate Cock and use the vacuum created to suck his flaccid member into it. It just didn’t work – despite trying varying levels of erectness, varying amounts of lube. Just, no. As I sat back and watched, however, I saw something very interesting. Paul wanted Chocolate Cock so bad, it was written all over his face as he struggled. The slightest amount of success in getting Chocolate Cock in place made him rise immediately to attention, usually meaning Chocolate Cock popped free. He labored far beyond the point that any reasonable person would. He was in lust, or he was obsessed. Chocolate Cock had cast a spell.

He never got it to work that day, but he swore he would conquer Chocolate Cock before we next met. And indeed, the next time I went to his place, he answered his door in a towel, displaying a very impressive and eye catching bulge. Seems Paul had indeed conquered Chocolate Cock – and beyond that, had taken to casually wearing it around home. Not that I was complaining – it really did make for an impressive sight. I made an attempt to get him to wear just the towel for the rest of the evening but a pair of worn jeans won out, and Chocolate Cock looked pretty amazing in worn jeans too. Paul was beaming – I could see the love in his eyes. Chocolate Cock had found its way into his heart in a way only very very special sex toys do.

So of course, when the time came for me to collect Chocolate Cock – I was moving after all – I could not do it. Chocolate Cock belonged with Paul, I couldn’t come between them. After all, when a sex toy chooses an owner, nothing can change its mind.