It’s that time of year again. You know, where we all sit around making promises about the things we’re going to do to better ourselves in the coming year. How many of us will actually wind up following through with our New Year’s Resolutions though?

Not many.

Gyms will be packed come January. The regulars will get annoyed when all the machines are taken, but will be comforted in knowing that by February half the new people will have given up on losing weight. By March and April there will only be a few stragglers left who have really committed to achieving their goals. I know because I was one of those people who gave up. I’ve given up on myself for the past 8 years. I had gym memberships, joined websites, ordered books, ordered food and paid hundreds of dollars into programs that I thought would help me reach my goals. Each time I failed because I gave up. There are quite a few reasons for this, and I’m pretty sure that a lot of people who give up on their goals have similar ones.

One of the biggest reasons is poor planning. There’s a saying ‘If you fail to plan, plan to fail.’ and it’s true. You can’t just pull some arbitrary goals out of thin air and expect them to happen. It takes effort and a solid plan. How are you going to meet that goal? If you want to quit smoking, you’ve got to figure out why, how and put several mini-goals in place so that you can keep yourself motivated. You have to figure out what behaviors trigger you to smoke and what you can put in place of those behaviors. Are you going to try using a nicotine patch or a prescription? How does smoking negatively affect your quality of life and what things will become better if you quit? Fail to really focus on the little, yet important details about the goal you want to achieve and you will fail to reach that goal.

Another reason is a lack of resources, which can kind of be combined with a lack of planning. In January, you’re all hyped up and maybe you’ve got a little extra money from Christmas gifts. You use that money to buy your gym membership. How do you intend to pay for your gym membership for the next 11 months? What about changing your diet, eating healthier? Organic foods and diet supplements can be costly. What are you going to shift around in your budget to accommodate that cost?

You need a support system. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. You’re absolutely going to have bad days, sometimes bad weeks, and you need someone you can talk to who will be there for you. Someone who will listen, yet help refocus your efforts and encourage you to get back on track. Someone who is going to tell you that even if you ate an entire chocolate cake today, tomorrow is a new day and you can get up extra early and go for a jog (or walk) to work off some of those calories. If you surround yourself with negative people who aren’t supportive of your goals, you’re going to easily resort to your old ways. Let your friends and family know what you need! Tell them that you need them to stop smoking around you or stop bringing home unhealthy take out food. Don’t be afraid to ask them to be a good friend to you.

People also set big goals. This was another major issue for me. I needed to lose over 100 lbs (ack!), and that can seem really overwhelming. Initially, you lose 5-15 lbs really quickly and then it tapers off to a more moderate 1-2 lbs a week. Focusing on the fact that you still need to lose a massive amount of weight instead of the fact that you’ve already lost 18 lbs will kill your motivation. You have to realize that you didn’t put on 100 lbs in a few weeks (barring a major medical issue) or that you didn’t start out smoking 2 packs a day. It’s going to take patience, persistence and a good attitude to keep trekking towards your goals. Any goal worth achieving is going to take hard work to get to. It makes it more meaningful when you finally do get there.

I’m not as cynical as most about New Year’s Resolutions, but I also don’t see why you should wait until January 1st to start focusing on the changes you want to make in your life. We need to start today and take things a day at the time. We need to narrow things down into smaller bites, being introspective daily, weekly or at least monthly. We need to celebrate each success when it happens to help keep us motivated. If you smoked 2 less cigarettes today than you did yesterday, congratulate yourself because it’s progress. If you didn’t get winded when you took a walk around the neighborhood or played outside with your kids, pat yourself on the back because you deserve it! Think about the changes you notice that can’t be quantified, like the way you feel. Do your clothes fit better? Can you taste your food or do you enjoy the taste of foods you didn’t think you liked before? All of those small things eventually add up to huge things!

If you have a bad day, think about what went wrong and how you can change it so that tomorrow lines up better with your goals. Did you overeat on your lunch break? Why? Maybe you waited too long before you ate and you need to bring a healthy snack to work to eat between meals. Even if you have a bad week or month, don’t give up and wait until next year to try again. Learn from the mistakes you make.

Your goals can happen if you believe in yourself, make a good plan, find a support system and figure out what you can do with the resources you have. Set reasonable, bite size goals. Congratulate yourself for each step you take in the right directions and learn from the ones you take in the wrong direction. Most importantly, don’t give up and wait for your life to pass by, wasting another year.