The word “slut” is a hard word for me to like. There is so much negative connotation. The only time I ever seem to hear it is in a negative context- either someone is describing a woman’s lifestyle, her style of dress, how she conducts herself, or someone is “joking” about the sexual promiscuity of a friend or acquaintance. No matter what the context may be, it’s usually negative, and it’s almost always directed towards a woman.

I’ll admit, I’m definitely a lot more sexually promiscuous than most, if not all, my friends and most of my peers. I used to be ashamed of it, but now it’s a trait that I’ve grown incredibly comfortable with. I don’t have an issue with my sexual background, and I feel like it shouldn’t bother others. However, for some reason, there are those that volunteer their opinions, regardless of whether or not I want to listen to it. And I’ve been called a plethora of names, either to my face or behind my back. Some common names that I heard were “tramp,” “whore,” “skank,” and “slut.” I always brushed off whore because I sure as hell wasn’t getting paid for my services, so that was the insulter’s lack of mastery of the language. “Tramp” didn’t make any sense to me, because I’m not, and never have been homeless. “Skank” was just a weird word for me, but the only time I heard that one was from my mother, and I just took everything my mother told me with a grain of salt. But “slut,” that just bothered the hell out of me. Why though?

After some inner contemplation, I figured out why I hated that word so much. According to Websters Dictionary, slut used to mean “slovenly person”, which basically is an individual who didn’t bathe themselves. Nah, I wash almost every day, so that’s not what bugged me. How about sexually promiscuous? Uh, yes, can we explore that a little more? What the hell does sexually promiscuous mean in our culture?

 

And of course, it doesn’t stop there. Unlike in Scandinavian Europe, where all cases of rape and assault are taken seriously, there have been cases here and in Canada where the police will brush off the victim if they are a prostitute or are in sex work. Hell, they’ve discriminated against women who were dressed too “seductively.” They did not pay attention to the fact that a woman was violated, that she said no, and yet, a sexual act occurred nonetheless. Something that so many will not care to understand or realize is that the state of dress has no bearing on how an individual acts or thinks; it’s merely the way they dress! A short skirt does not mean a woman (or sometimes a man) wants sex; it just means they are wearing a short skirt.

Slut shaming is a terrible thing that American culture is guilty of, and it not only affects social circles in high schools and college. It affects the way that women are perceived in regular society, and automatically, a woman’s sex life is her only defining trait. It doesn’t matter that she might be intelligent, witty, funny, or your possible new best friend. All that matters is that she sleeps around, maybe, and that is completely below you.

Women, or anyone, are more than a label. I’ve lost so many friend opportunities because I was automatically dismissed as a “slut.” In real life, I love my dog and my friends, I enjoy spending hours in museums, I love to read good books and watch good films, I enjoy the company of intelligent people, and I love going to the beach and I love having sex. But to others, it doesn’t matter if I found the cure to cancer- all that matters is that I have a higher “number” than most, and that makes me almost sub-human.