Sometimes, it’s hard to have a physical relationship when you have kids. Especially when they are YOUNG kids. You and the partner want privacy, but Johnny’s room is right next to yours. Or, Johnny had a nightmare. Or, Johnny needs a drink of water. Whatever the case may be, you just can’t seem to get enough privacy even for a quickie!

Here are my suggestions.

1. Enlist a network of friends who also have small kids. Suggest to take turns keeping the kiddos for slumber parties or playdates so that the parents (yourself included!) get some privacy. Particularly parents with new infants who are sleep deprived if you are up to it. They will love you for the intimacy and the nap. Not to mention, the favor gets returned every so often if the group can get into a rotation schedule and stick to it.

2. Send the kiddos to Grandma for the weekend. Grandma loves to see their smiling faces, even if she does love to pinch the cheeks and load them up on cookies before they come back. Spoil Grandma a little, let Grandma spoil the kiddos a little, then spoil your partner. Have a nice date out, or order in and catch the latest romance on-demand.

3. Skip a game every now and then, if you must, and let Johnny go home with one of his teammates. But let your kiddo know, don’t just “not go.” Plan it ahead of time. That may make me sound like a horrible mother, but if push comes to shove, that can buy you a few hours of alone time with your special someone. Also, offer a returned favor for whoever Johnny spends the afternoon with. They’ll always appreciate the gesture.

All that said, should your child(ren) be old enough to drive themselves, send them to the mall for the afternoon, and make sure they understand you and the partner need some alone time, and that they shouldn‘t be back for, say, two hours. Kids aren’t dumb, they’ll figure out what you’re up to. At the same time, they won’t mind getting to go shopping on your dime.

Scheduling is important. If you DON’T take the time to be intimate with your partner, coitally or not, you will definitely grow apart. I’m going to assume that you are married to the other parent of your child(ren). Spending private time together to communicate and show affection is so important in this day and age to prevent the falling apart of your marriage or relationship. Divorce is not a pretty thing and can generally be prevented. Time spent together in a positive way is a HUGE step!

Those are just my thoughts and experiences. Every family’s dynamic is different, but these can always be worked with to suit your needs. Right now, call/text/email/fax/otherwise contact your significant other and plan a date night, in roughly one week. Make plans that CAN’T fall through (have a backup for the backup) and make time with your love. You can tell them Teagan said to do it.