I have recently found myself single after being married for four years. It wasn’t easy to jump back into the dating scene, especially after a breakup that should have never happened, but about a year ago, I was in that boat. I quickly got my profile on dating sites to try and get my confidence high enough that I didn’t hate myself. I have never had any luck on those sites, but I felt I was desperate at the time. Also during this time I played an MMORPG, and it helped pass the time while I was in a horrid mood. During this time, I met a guy who I really liked right away on the game, and we hit it off.

I found out about his kinks right away. He liked to make crazy bets with friends and end up wearing embarrassing outfits because of it. I’m sure he had expected many times that he was going to win, but always underestimated his friends. These outfits ranged from being double diapered for 13 hours to hooker outfits. He told me about a few of these crazy bets early on and asked if I wanted to see pictures, but I felt embarrassed for him and didn’t want to see him that way. I knew I liked him, and I guess I felt I needed to get to know him before seeing him in any type of humiliating position. I also knew that he was fond of paddling and spanking when I first got to know him. From the many years of dating, you don’t usually find out about things like that until after you have been intimately involved for awhile. This guy was not shy, and it was refreshing.

I had assumed that along with the kinks that he had, that he was experienced sexually. Usually someone that is into BDSM and other kinky things has had sex. I was totally wrong. He was a virgin in his late 20’s, waiting for the right woman to marry and settle down with to have a family. His beliefs are for religious reasons, and it completely shocked me. I hadn’t been in a relationship sans sex since high school. I had just gotten out of a relationship where I had sex mostly on a regular basis. This was going to be a new experience, or an old one back from when I didn’t really think of other options.

We started dating and seeing each other as often as we could. He had moved to about six hours away, so I could take weekend trips at least once a month. As our relationship progressed, the kink has increased, but the no sex has stayed the same. We haven’t even had oral sex, not to say I haven’t offered. I did, and he shot me down, saying he would wait until he was married for that. I thought maybe at the time he just wasn’t sure how he felt about me yet, and maybe he would change his mind about that. I honestly have never wanted to go down on a guy as much as I want to go down on him. It’s quite thrilling thinking about it, and I do think I need to bring that up.

What we do have is a lot of bdsm. He is really into paddles and straps and has quite the collection. We have made some bets and just haven’t gone through with the humiliating things so far, although he has become my puppy a few times. We both have submissive and dominant qualities, which is nice, for the most part. It just feels very strange to be spanked, tied up, forced to wear an anal plug, but not have any sex involved. I feel like I am in a situation that no one would understand.

I do feel like every time I see him, his feelings for me grow. We have a connection, and I hope that everything isn’t a waste. I’m not in my 20’s anymore. I don’t want to date just for the sake of having fun. It is all quite strange, and I hope it goes somewhere more than just being a kinky girl that he dated. I can honestly say that he has opened my eyes to new and exciting things, and I would like to keep doing that with him.