Yesterday I heard a story about a girl (we’ll call her S for short, because she is a total sweetheart). S was in a loving and committed, monogamous, long term relationship, or so she thought. It turns out that her partner was a total douchebag (in fact, we’ll call him D for douchebag from here on out). D spent his free time online, picking up women to have sex with. One of those women had HPV. She gave it to D, and D, like the totally awesome stud that he is (sarcasm), brought this virus home to his sweetheart of a girlfriend (you remember her, the one who thought she was in a loving and committed, monogamous relationship).

Fast forward, now S is having weird cramping and reoccurring yeast and urinary tract infections. She sees a doctor; they run a ton of tests and she goes home. One day S is sitting in her living room and receives a phone call; she has an STD. S wonders how this has happened, she has only ever slept with D. She confronts D, surprisingly he confesses with not much of a struggle (not that he has much of a choice). S and D split.

Now S is going in for biopsies, because not only does she have HPV, but it is a very aggressive form of HPV, and there are masses growing on her cervix. S has cancer, which has spread from her cervix to at least two other organs. She has to have a hysterectomy among other surgery and chemo, and when the chemo is finished, she discovers that she had to have vaginal reconstructive surgery, because the chemo has completely destroyed her vaginal tissue. S moves forward, struggling to recover, to remain positive, to pick up the pieces of the life she thought she had, just to keep on living.

Fast forward again, 3 years, and S’s cancer is back. And who knows how many times it will come back after this. S is suffering, and D is off earning his initial.

This is a terribly sad story, but also a true story, and it is one which is not restricted to S. Sex is scary to begin with, and safety needs to be taken seriously, even with long term partners. Cheating is not only selfish and disrespectful, but it is also a good way of not only putting yourself, but also your partners at risk of potentially life threatening infections. In some cases, they will be the only ones to suffer the horrible consequences of your actions.