Finding the confidence to feel sexy again

Childbirth can be the most beautiful, surrealistic experience in the world. It can also be the most painful thing you will ever experience in your woman hood. The gift of life is an amazing thing, and women are such amazing creatures to possess the ability to give it. However, the beauty and amazement of this talent is often forgotten once it is over. New mothers have to face so many challenges in such a short amount of time.

When most people think of a new baby, they think of the joy and wonder that special little person brings. Now to be clear here I want you all to know that there are indeed those things along with having a baby. But there is also a lot more- there is fatigue from birthing the child in the first place, the endless nights (and days) of soothing and nurturing your newborn every other hour or so; mixed with the lack of energy from nursing and changing and cuddling your baby, and the overwhelming plethora of emotions that accompany new mothers that sticks around for a while.

With help and support, the challenges of being a new mom can be overcome. It is our bodies that remain exhausted for a while after the fact. Birthing a child puts a woman’s body into overdrive. It is something that pushes us beyond our pain threshold and into a whole new world. For (technically) nine months, our bodies change completely to accommodate the little kidney bean that is growing inside of us. Literally everything can change in your body when you become pregnant; from your eyes to your back to your feet. All your organs re arrange to make room for the little one. Your body retains more water, and you puff out like a marsh-mellow. That being said, it takes a hell of a lot longer than nine months to get back to your pre baby body. In fact I don’t think my body will ever be the same again.
Some women are lucky enough to “bounce back” after they have a child. I wish I did. Fortunately for me I am back to the weight I was before I lost weight and got pregnant. I lost 20 pounds right before I got pregnant, so I am still even. However, my body has decided to shape itself differently and clothes do not fit me the same anymore. This in turn makes me feel ugly and fat. I know I am not alone in this, but sometimes it feels like I am. None of my pre baby lingerie fits me anymore. I am scared to buy any new lingerie because it is always a lot smaller than one would expect.
All this can cause one’s confidence to slip. Stretch marks make it hard to let your partner see you naked. Clothes not fitting right anymore can contribute to you feeling down about yourself in public. When you feel these things, you emit them to others, who in turn see you the way you do. But this can be battled, and you can win. There are a few important things that new moms can do to keep their self esteem:

Affirmations- Self talk is a very important part in maintaining your confidence and pride. Even if you don’t believe something is true right away, continue to say it to yourself. Get some sticky notes and write some affirmations down on them. Stick them around the house and anywhere else you will see them on a regular basis. Constantly say these things out loud to yourself every day. The more you say it, the more you will believe it is true.

Visualizations- Visualize your life with the body you want. All your clothes fit, you can buy whatever lingerie you desire, your sex life is as steamy as ever, and you are a much happier woman. Close your eyes and really feel your life to be the way you want it. Do more than picture it- smell the sun tan lotion on the beach while you sit in your bikini, feel the hot sand on your body, hear the compliments that others will give you. Really put yourself there as best you can.
Stay Healthy- Comfort food is something a lot of people battle with. Bored? Grab something to eat. Sad? Head to the fridge. Gym routine not going as well as you planned? Grab a box of Oreos (I really did that… didn’t help me any). There are plenty of great snacks to eat that don’t contain empty calories and sugar. Also, incorporating exercise into your busy new mom lifestyle is a lot easier than it sounds. Take baby for daily walks. Not only do you get exercise, but you both get to bond more and enjoy the world around you. When baby drops something on the floor, squat or lunge to get it instead of just bending over. There are tons of options out there.