Back in the day (I’m vague on which day exactly but nevertheless…) women had the reputation for “playing dumb.” I’m under the impression that this had something to do with not emasculating their objects and therefore winning them over with their docility and allure. Ultimately I think the goal was to get them down the aisle or some such thing.

Anyhow, such behaviour became a feminist faux pas (to put it mildly). Women should be strong! And smart! And sexy! And men shouldn’t be threatened by these things! And so it goes that women became more confident in asserting their intelligence and sensuality.
(Isn’t it fantastic that I just summed up decades of feminist discourse in 2 paragraphs? I am awesome.)

The other day I was on an adult site. I was restless and looking to find someone to hook up with fairly quickly. It generally isn’t too hard on those sites, as the men aren’t particularly discerning. I’ve been clever and witty. I’ve been intellectual and argumentative. I’ve been bubby and fun. It ALL works. Men? On those sites? Want to get laid. It appears that as long as you’re willing and have a pulse, you pass.

But I generally try to make it worth their while. I try to be engaging and make some sort of connection. I want them to be entertained, and feel that it was a valuable experience for them. Just showing up and spreading my legs seems so…empty.

But then I had a revelation. The skies opened up and choirs of seraphim began to chorus. I wanted the empty. I wanted to simply spread my legs and be done with it. I didn’t want to have to meet someone’s emotional or intellectual needs.

And so? I decided to dumb it down.

I found a willing specimen and sent him a message. I used short declarative statements. I didn’t try to be clever or funny. I just got to the point and told him what I wanted.

This is an excerpt of our conversation (me in italics, all grammatical errors etc are included):

- Hey there sexy. Want to hook up and have wild passionate sex?
- Maybe…what do you like?
- Oh. I like everything. I like to eat pussy. And I like to have hard sex. Take you from behind. Cum on your ass. Hvae you suck my cock before you climb on and fuck yourself on my cock.
- I like it hard and fast. I like being pinned down and pounded. I like toys – I’m wearing a strap-on vibe right now…Do you like toys? Have you ever met and fucked anyone from the site?
- No I haven’t fucked anyone from this site yet or fucked them…lol. And you have a strap on right now. Nice. You like fucking guys with that strap on. And baby I will pound you go and hard.
- It’s not that kind of strap on – it’s just for women. I do have a vibrating cock ring that I’ve never used and a bunch of other toys..I’d love to have someone use them on me.
When’s the last time you had sex? It’s been wayy too long for me. I would love to have some cock in me right now.
- It’s been awhile for me too. ANd I would love to have my cock in some pussy. And I sure could use some head.

And so on…eventually it came to him asking if he could see me the next day and finding a hotel and going at it all day and night. Ambitious. Nice.

I am actually embarrassed to admit that I wrote the above. So completely lacking in poetry and elegance. But at the same time it amused the hell out of me to be so blunt and uncaring about how I was portraying myself to this random person. I actually took a small amount of joy in editing my words down when they had too many syllables. I considered including some typos and text speak into the messages, but my delicate sensibilities just wouldn’t allow it.

Now I haven’t actually met this man yet – but I have sent him a few messages here in there to the tune of “I wish I had some cock right now.” He generally responds that he would be happy to oblige.

However I have to say that even just the message exchanges have been completely liberating. I’ve loved the ability to just say what I want without being too flowery or considerate about it. Sometimes? Playing dumb can in fact be a feminist demonstration of power too.