Let me just start off by saying that I do not condone cheating, no matter the reason. It doesn’t matter if 20+ years ago you said you’d have an affair with someone, if your husband had his penis amputated, or if your wife had her vagina sewn up, there is no justification for that type of betrayal. That’s just my opinion anyways…
With that said, I’ll share my experiences and feelings on the subject of cheating. I had dated a few different guys before meeting and marrying my husband. I have reason to believe that all but one of them cheated on me while we were dating.
The first, my high school sweetheart, is now with his long term girlfriend that he’s been dating for eight years – I know this because she thought it would be a good idea to friend me on Facebook and tell me this. She also has it written on her profile. If her timing is accurate, their relationship would overlap the one that my high school sweetheart and I had. So, with no way to confirm it, I’ll just say it’s likely that he did cheat on me.
That brings me to the second supposed cheater. When he and I were still together – right before I left him – I was using his computer when someone messaged him on Yahoo. Her opening message was: “Hey sexy. Are we still on for Six Flags?” I had no clue who this chick was, but she seemed to be pretty chummy with my, then, boyfriend. Being pathetically naïve at the time, I believed him when he told me she must have messaged the wrong person and quickly signed himself out of Yahoo. Later, I did manage to find saved emails of him pouring his heart out to, and trying to arrange a meeting with, an ex of his. There again, I can assume he was a cheater.
That brings me to the most recent ex, before I met my husband. He was never very serious about our relationship, even though we dated for almost eight months. Toward the end, he was making plans to visit an old female friend, and was being very secretive about it. If they met I do not know, but the way he acted around that time was just shady. Since we dated, he has cheated on everyone he’s been with, including his recent ex-wife. And you know what they say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater…” I just don’t know when his streak of affairs began.
From my experiences, I have never been able to confirm my suspicions that I was cheated on, but there seems to be enough evidence to make them almost guilty. The first two, I was young (16-19 years old), and just too naïve to know any better. I had learned after those relationships, but was so head over heels in love with the last one, I couldn’t see through the rose colored glasses. It was only after I got out of that relationship, and could reflect on my love life, that I realized how disgusted I was with them…and with my choice of men. I felt like I’d never be enough, since everyone was seeking other women’s company while with me.
Thankfully, I now have a man I can trust with my life. He doesn’t mind me using his cell phone, or signing into his email account to get information that has been sent to him. He’s never out late, or doing anything that would make me think he would be unfaithful. He treats me as though I am the only woman that exists. I feel that my streak of being with cheaters has ended, and I am so very thankful for that.