Eden Cafe

By Champagne and Benzedrine

At the start of a new year, it’s traditional to make all sorts of resolutions – like losing weight, quitting your vices or just generally trying to be a better person. Well, I’ve made all of those – but I still felt like I have more to be ‘resolute’ about.

It’s seems at the start of each New Year, the only area of self-improvement I don’t look into is in the bedroom. So for 2010, I’ve decided to have a sexual list of ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ as well:

1. To have more sex: Having been married for nearly seven years, I’ve definitely noticed the frequency and intensity of our sex life dropping off. Whereas we used to ‘do it’ three times a day when we were dating, it’s now lucky to be three times a week now – and lasts minutes instead of hours. No longer! In 2010, I’m going to do whatever it takes to rejuvenate our sex life.

2. To get fit: Ask any doctor and they’ll tell you that Viagra comes in a poor second compared to the erection-inspiring benefits of a bit of regular exercise. A daily jog, a few press-ups and some free-weight training can get that heart racing, blood pumping and do wonders for your sex life – so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

3. To get kinky: If most of my friends knew the collection of sex toys under our bed, they’d probably argue that my wife and I were kinky enough already! But truth be told, we often lack the time and energy to make ‘playtime’ as creative as we’d like. In 2010, I’m planning to make that time and ensure that our sex life is wilder and crazier than ever.

4. To give and to receive: Oral sex, that is. Like with so much in our sex life, my wife and I simply lack the time and energy to do the things we did when we were younger – like spend hours curled in ‘69’ coaxing each other to climax with our lips and tongues. Whereas oral sex used to be a foreplay fixture, it’s now a once-a-month special at best. In 2010, I’m going to reverse that trend and ensure that I put my mouth where my money is (and hopefully inspire my wife to do the same.)

5. To get seductive: If there’s one bad habit I’ve got into in life, it’s taking sex for granted. Back when I was single and dating, sex was a reward for romance, seduction and making my soon-to-be-wife feel sexy and special. And while my wife is still sexy and special to me, I’d be the first to admit that sometimes, I act as if I expect sex, instead of earning it. In 2010, I’m going to try and make my wife feel as sexy and desirable as she did when we were dating – as I know our lovemaking will be so much hotter and more intense as a result.