Come closer, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, a little closer, I said closer. Good now let me tell you what absolutely drives me up a wall. Irresponsible dog owners, especially the owners of those little dog owners. For some reason these asses figure that it is ok to allow their dog to walk on my lawn, squat and take a shit and then they continue walking as if nothing had happened at all.
This absolutely infuriates me and for some reason the little dog owners feel this is completely acceptable whereas most large dog owners will actually clean up after their animals. Why is this? It is because the assumption is that a little dog will only leave little poops? Or is it because the owner is so cracked out on dressing up his or her little dog they actually do not realize their little dog has actually crapped on someone else’s lawn.
I am the proud owner of a Border collie cross and can honestly say that I am a responsible dog owner. When we take our dog out on her walks and before we even think about leaving the house we make sure we have a good supply of bags with us to ensure when our dog shits in the middle of the street (this appears to be her favourite spot and she enjoys it even more if it is over a manhole cover) that we are able to clean up her mess and carry on with the walk.
Why is this concept so difficult for many of the other dog owners to grasp? Most of us have a plethora of unused grocery bags sitting in our house somewhere and these make perfectly acceptable poop bags. If you don’t wish to stoop to the level of using a grocery bag, simply go to your local pet store and purchase one of the many available designer shit catchers that match Fifi’s little outfit.
Now I know this isn’t the fault of the dog and instead is the fault of the stupid owner but sometimes I just want to run out of my house screaming at the top of my lungs, wind up and punt that little fucker half way down the block. This though would not be the solution; instead what I should be doing is going outside with a shovel, yelling at the owner to get off my lawn and then scoop up the fresh pile of crap and fling it back at the owner where it belongs.
So let this be a lesson to all you irresponsible dog owners, those who let their dogs crap on my lawn may find that a projectile of shit may be flung back at them and why we’re at it “Get Off My Lawn!”