Being a mom and being a sexual creature is sometimes an oxymoron. Obviously mothers are sexual or there would be no conception. However, the first three years of the life of a child are wrought with diapers, vomit, cracked nipples, unwanted weight, sleepless nights, and much, much more in varying degrees. It usually gets better in the second year of life when you have fewer sleepless nights and no more breastfeeding or bottles. It’s still not very glamorous. Any attempt to recapture even a small portion of your sexuality and allure is usually canceled by the fact that you are holding a dirty diaper, or have a spit-up rag on your shoulder, or are cleaning something off their faces for the millionth time.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, this is often intensified by the fact that you probably own sweat pants that are grubby and dress up sweats. So sad, but it’s true. Who wants to put on jeans and a shirt that is just going to get smeared with peanut butter, or get sat on with a leaky diaper? Umm, not me! These images, of course, do very little for our own sense of sexuality, and it does even less for our partners to come home and find their lover in the same pajamas they were wearing when he/she left that morning. So not sexy!

Being a sex toy reviewer makes all of this a mixed bag! I’m highly sexual, and will often steal away for five or ten minutes while the youngin’ is watching cartoons, to take care of a little business. Sometimes I enjoy the time that she’s napping to take a longer session for myself. It’s like my version of getting a manicure or going for a massage. (Talk about your happy endings!) It also serves the purpose of making sure my juices are flowing more easily for my Mr. You know what they say: If you don’t use it, you lose it!

There are, of course, difficult and sometimes humorous things that go along with being a mom and being a sex toy reviewer. From finding the time to properly test a product, to toddlers running around with bouncy dildos. There are definitely obstacles. It’s also very rewarding, and I don’t just mean orgasms.

I think it makes me a better wife and mother. Aside from the fact that I’m less stressed due to more frequent orgasms, I tend to be much more open since beginning to review toys. Part of that is I can see the humor in sex more. Part of that is I’ve learned a lot about different things sexually, and it makes me more open to accepting things. Part of that is I feel I will be a better communicator with my girls when they hit adolescence. That reason is probably one of my most rewarding.

I never had a very open relationship with my mom when I was a teenager. There were so many reasons for that. Mostly, I never felt that I could tell her anything without her going crazy. I’m so glad I’m not like that. I hope that I can be a person that my daughters can turn to for real information and honest guidance. Will I ever go ballistic when they tell me something I may not want to hear? Of course. I’m human, and I love them, and I’m protective of them. I just hope that I can get over that part quickly, so that I can be that guiding hand I’m meant to be.

Is all of that just because I’m a sex toy reviewer? Of course not, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t help!