I never really appreciated being able to have sex with my husband anytime, anywhere (at least at our house) until after my son was born. The days of my husband coming home from work, ripping my clothes off, and us going at it on the couch, or the middle of the living room floor, are somewhat over. And a little undesirable, as either activity, nowadays, would end up with someone getting a toy fire truck or matchbox car stuck somewhere it shouldn’t be. While I wouldn’t trade in my little guy for anything in the world, it is, at times, frustrating for my husband and I to not be able to just go at it on the spur of the moment. Sex now has to be scheduled around our son’s naptimes and bedtimes. Even with careful planning, there is no counting the times that we’ve been interrupted by a little voice coming from down the hall, wanting another drink, or another story.

One of the hardest parts that we’ve found in trying to make time for sex, is making sure once we have a child free time and place to have it, one or both of us is not too tired from working, and taking care of a toddler all day to still be in the mood. So sometimes, although we had both been planning on getting it on that day, we end up going to bed early to actually catch up on some much needed sleep instead. But often times the un-tired partner is able to rejuvenate the tired one with a backrub, a shared shower, etc. We have learned to be creative in trying to get the other one in the mood. Sometimes, all it takes is few whispers of what we’d like to do to each other. Other times it takes a little more effort.

Although we have sex less frequently than we did before our son came along, we do make the most of it when we manage to find the time. Our lovemaking sessions generally tend to be longer than before. They involve much more teasing and foreplay, so that by the time we get to the actual penetration part of sex, the sexual tension has been building for hours, if not all day, making that first contact all the more explosive and amazing.

We have definitely mastered the art of the slow seduction. Quick glances over the dinner table, a discrete touch here and there. We also send each other racy texts throughout the day, and the occasional naughty picture. All of these things help us to get things going a bit before we ever make it to the bedroom, or even before we see each other that day.

So, even though the quantity and spontaneity of our sex life is lacking from what it was a few years ago, I feel that we more than make up for it. And the end results are more than worth the extra efforts we may have to make to get there.

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