A little game. That’s how it started. A small purchase with big rewards. I have been married for six years now and we have three kids. Our spontaneity in our marriage has evolved into choosing a movie or picking up a new game for the wii. I know you can’t just pack up and go across country when you have kids. But why does the romance choose to do so? Thinking about this, I bought a game designed for this purpose and then stumbled upon a book that really shined a light on the subject. What can you do when you don’t have the option for a babysitter or you can’t get around?

Well first of all you don’t need to leave the house to give it a different feel and keep it fresh. I know it may seem pretty unlikely that you two won’t go crazy, but a transformation isn’t hard to do. Depending on what you two like, make the bedroom like walking into a different world, or decorate the kitchen like a coffee shop. It would be quite easy to change your bathroom into a tropical paradise. I live right by a stream where these nice tropical looking ferns grow. I could very easily go grab some and attach them around the tub. Add a couple candles with a few shells and pebbles. Maybe even top it off with a couple messages in a bottle floating around for him to find. How about setting up a tent of sheer fabric and laying pillows around the inside. Grab a belly dancing costume or a colorful saree and have a meal in bowls on the floor. Then, even in the dead of winter, you can whisk them away to a different scene.

This could be an either or question, but ladies I’m going to ask you this. How often do you tell your partner that you love them, or if you do, how often do you remind them why? My husband is better at this than I am actually, and it makes me feel bad that I am not as vocal to him about things like that. I show him by doing things, but sometimes he needs to hear it too. So while he was off relaxing in the ‘kings room’ aka the bathroom, I set up a romantic dinner for two. There was the usual table setting with a candle in the center, music in the background, and one of his favorite meals. However, there were also these nicely folded papers that could be found all over the table and counters. Each one had something that I loved about him written on the inside. Think of things that are not obvious. Little things seem to be the most touching sometimes. I could tell him that he is really sweet, or that he is a hard worker, but telling him that I love when he is over tired because his sense of humor is explosive, is more personal.

How often do we let the inner childlike self come out to play? I mean, we used to be playful. Mini golf, water parks and what not. We still do it for the kids, but those times were fun for just us as well, and it was an opportunity to let ourselves relax and just kid around. If it’s warm out, grab some squirt guns and turn on the heat with a manhunt that hands out romantic prizes. Or make a bean bag toss with different activities, and see what his aim and determination gets him. Everybody wins.

Keeping the romance alive, for my husband and I, is what also keeps us excited to be with each other, and instills a little mystery now and then. If you can’t seem to let your imagination take control, grab one of those games, or look around for ideas on the web. I started to get obsessed with coming up with different ideas, and let’s just say I have quite a few to keep me going right now. I get the satisfaction of making this “foofy girly stuff” fun for him as well!