Eden Cafe

Whether you’re in a long distance relationship because of college, a job offer, or because you met your sweetheart online, it can be hard going. I’ve been in one for over three years now, and it seems to only get harder as it goes – you get used to it, but as the person becomes more and more important to you so does the need to see them in the flesh. Here are some ways to make it work, or at least cope until you can see each other again.

1. Send ‘snail mail’ and packages. An email will get there faster, but a handwritten letter is so much more personal and thought out – and at less than a dollar to send, it’s well worth brightening someone’s day with a surprise between their bills. As for packages, who doesn’t like getting a present in the mail? Some of the easiest things to do can mean the most; since the sense of smell is such a memory trigger, wear a shirt for a day or spray it with your perfume/cologne and mail it to your partner. They’ll be able to snuggle with ‘you’ for a few days.
2. Make use of instant messaging programs and webcams. It’s not as good as the real thing, but online messaging offers something other methods don’t: multitasking. You can spend quality time talking with your honey – while clearing out those emails or some other mundane task that doesn’t require much brainpower. Most IM programs will let you use your webcam and microphone, so you can actually see your partner talking; programs like Skype will let you actually ‘video chat’.
3. Do things together, apart. Are you both a fan of the same TV shows or books? You can read the same book and discuss it. My boyfriend and I watch some of the same TV shows; once or twice a week, we’ll talk on the phone while watching. It’s good to hear each other laugh, and we can gush fanspeak at each other during commercials.
4. Get a good phone plan. When my boyfriend’s phone contract ended, he switched to a different provider so that all our calls to each other were free. If you don’t have to stress about the phone bill, you talk more – and have more money!
5. Be realistic, and keep things balanced. Yes, you want to Mr. or Ms. Awesome 24/7. But staring at the phone and spending all day thinking of when you’ll talk is unhealthy. Keep busy, stay on task, and make time for your friends. Separation is hard, but if you make a wreck of yourself before you see each other again the reunion won’t be much fun.
6. Do something to take the pressure off chat. When you’re with your partner in the flesh, you usually don’t spend hours at a time doing nothing but talking. When you’re long distance and all you can do is talk, it gets old fast. You can play an MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game), which lets you chat with each other while playing together. If you’re not into that kind of thing, most messaging programs offer games like Checkers, Chess, and Backgammon. You could also surf the web together and talk about your findings, watch new movie trailers and video clips, etc.
7. Send lots of photos. They don’t have to be glam to make your partner smile. If you did an exceptionally awesome job of cleaning the living room, take a picture and send it. If you think you look awesome in your new coat, send it. Small anniversary? Send a picture with you holding a sign that says “Happy __ months!”
8. Write a love letter. Everybody likes getting a little verbal lovin’. Even if you’re no Shakespeare, just the fact that you tried will give warm fuzzies. There plenty of guides online if you need help getting started.
9. Don’t get overbearing. Communication is important, but no one likes being smothered with phone calls and texts, only to log on and see they have 14 unread emails and 32 ‘pokes’. You have to trust each other – and if you constantly ask for a status update from your partner, they might fee like you don’t trust them.
10. Make plans. Talk about your future. Are you going to live in a blue house? Small town, or big city? Are you meeting halfway next month? Knowing there’s something bright on the horizon makes it easier to muck through the not-so-good parts.