Lets turn a joke into reality
By DeadIzzy
On his album “Shiny happy Jihad” Joe Rogan tells a joke about masturbation. In this joke he suggests an ad campaign called “Jerk off then think about it.” Billboards according to this joke should have a guy stand around with a girl hold a baby yelling at him and off to the side “Jerk off, then think about it.” He then makes the statement that this would never happen though because “masturbation gets zero props.” So I would like to propose that we prove Joe Rogan wrong.

I would like to initiate the “Jerk off, then think about it” initiative. I think places like Vegas would be perfect for starting this campaign because they already have half naked women on the backs of taxis so I don’t know why they would object to messages telling guys to jerk off. But here’s another thing I think would make this idea work even more. I think they need to put masturbation stations in bathrooms. This way when some guy gets really hammered and he’s horny as hell, he can just go in the bathroom and jerk off. Then maybe he wouldn’t wake up the next morning with a Gila monster.

What if they took that one step further and put in machines that would jerk the guys off. The guy goes in and just sticks his dick in a hole and this machine start rubbing his dick till he cums. Granted you could pay people to suck dicks all day, but I would be willing to bet that anyone would get sick of that by the end of the day. Probably wouldn’t be able to talk because their jaw would be so sore. While you could also pay people to be fucked all day with the risk of condoms breaking that could defeat the jerk off think about it thing. Obviously for the machine thing you would want condoms used to because if you didn’t use condoms for it then you would have day, week or month old cum on your dick and it probably is not going to smell too good. What about paying people to jerk the guys off? Well think about how tired your arms would get from jerking guys off all day long or even for just an 8 hour work day. Granted your arms and hands would get really strong but I think the pain would really suck.

Something else that could be done to further the campaign would be sex toys like the FleshLight running ads that say things like “Jerk off with a FleshLight, then think about it. It feels better than your hand.” That is a claim Joe Rogan makes in his podcasts and I totally agree. Currently being the owner of seven FleshLights I am sure I can say with confidence. Using a FleshLight is better than using your hand. I would suggest other sex toys but I haven’t used any others. So suggestions will be considered. I just saw this sex toy called the Cobra Libre and I bet it would be great for this campaign.

There are certainly many things that could be used in this campaign to also remove the stigma of masturbation. To quote Joe Rogan again “How can it be wrong to touch your dick? It’s right there. You can sleep on your arm funny, wake up with a numb hand, roll over and fuck your senseless fist. It’s that easy to masturbate.” I would like to close by saying while this is mostly a joke, I do think it would be interesting to make this joke a reality. Also to prove to Joe Rogan that this can happen. hahaha