I know exactly what you mean about being complimented about losing weight. I lost 40 lbs during my second pregnancy due to having gall stones and being on a very restrictive diet. I could barely eat even what they told me I should be able to without having an attack so I barely ate for the first half of my pregnancy until I got far enough along that they could do the surgery to remove my gall bladder. Everyone kept complimenting me on how incredible I looked and how much weight I was losing. It pisses me off now because I was sick and that I was risking doing a lot of damage to my baby since I couldn’t eat to get proper nutrition to nourish him while he was growing inside of me. Yet what seemed to be so important to so many people was my weight instead of the health of me and my child.

I’ve made a huge effort to not remark on people’s weight. When my friends post photographs of themselves post baby or after a significant weight loss I refrain from commenting. I compliment how beautiful their face looks or their smile, but I refuse to say anything, negative or positive about their weight. You never know why someone has gained or lost weight and it’s fucking rude to comment on it.

I’m sorry you have to deal with such a thin-centric culture where you live. I am fortunate enough to live in Georgia where being thicker isn’t so frowned upon. Just know that you are absolutely beautiful the way you are and that I never mind your feedback on anything I write. =)
.-= Sarahbear´s last blog ..Review: Sliquid Organics Natural Lubricant =-.

This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sammi2009: RT @EdenCafe: Loving My New Body http://bit.ly/7F74B0...

It’s interesting, because you talk about accepting and loving your body at a larger size than you were, and feeling sexy, even though you weigh more than you did when you were married. Society tells us that we should strive to be skinny, thin people, but I had a similar experience as you.

I graduated high school at 98 pounds. I was not anorexic. I did not have an eating disorder. I’m naturally thin, and I was a competitive cheerleader. All that physical activity, in combination with my genes, kept me thin. However, I hated my body. I felt sickly. I was tired of being asked if I had an eating disorder.

My freshman year of college, I cut out all physical activity and began funneling beers. I put on 20 pounds. I weighed about 120, which, on my 5’5 frame, was completely average. I was still thin. I was a size 4, but I had hips. I had curves. I had a D cup. I’ve never felt sexier. When I came home to Florida, I got looks. There were comments made on my “belly.” The culture down here is MUCH thinner and more looks conscious than it was up north where I went to school. I didn’t care about the comments, though, I felt great.

But when I graduated and moved home, the lack of funneling beer and Dominos binges at 3 AM, combined with a prescription to Adderall, an appetite suppressant, left be back down to 100 pounds, which is where I am now. I got so many compliments, but I HATED it. I have the body I’m told people envy, yet I want that extra weight back. I want curves. I want to feel like a woman. Dating someone that tells me I’m beautiful helps, but it’s a struggle for me to learn to love a body that isn’t what I think of as beautiful.

I know that gaining weight isn’t something I can do easily. I know this is a natural weight for me. But I still long for the curves I used to have. I guess it goes to show that no matter what our body, it’s never what we want. You felt too big; I feel too small. Yet both of us are fighting the same struggle of learning to love what we have.

Sorry for the book!
.-= Britni TheVadgeWig´s last blog ..Rape Culture =-.