The other night my husband was watching Tina Turner in a televised concert she recently did. I was so impressed by the fact that this woman was still in her mini skirts and high heels (her legs looked amazing) kicking it up, dancing and singing like she was at most 40. At one point she was even dancing on some narrow scaffolding that was high above the crowd. But I was even more impressed….No, blown away….when I looked her up online and found out that she is now 70 years old. Wow! I want to be like that at 70.

On the other side of the spectrum is my mother, who is also 70. And my mother, like most women that are older, looks like an old lady. She’s seriously overweight to the point that it has affected her health, uses a motorized cart in the grocery store, and parks in the handicap section. I know there are more women that age like my mother, than there are like Tina. And yes, I know Tina has the best of everything that money can buy. And I know that if I said something to my mom about Tina, that is exactly what she would tell me. But I also know my mom never exercised a day in her life. Even though the doctors still tell her she needs to walk, she refuses. And being the me that I am, my life’s motto has always been, to be nothing like my mother.

Let me start by saying that I know there are health reasons that are beyond our control. Arthritis, dementia, cancer, bad hearts and genetics will play a key factor in how well we age. And some of us are going to age more gracefully than others. But we need to take personal responsibility for the rest of it. I’m not talking plastic surgery or anything that drastic. How about getting off our duffs and moving around? Cardiovascular exercise is like a fountain of youth. Try googling “exercise and aging”. The list is almost endless on what it does for our health, looks and attitudes. Which reminds me, I really need to get back on track with my exercise program. I went from working at Curves for two years to being unemployed and not working out at all this past year. See….even I don’t always listen to my own advice. But at least I have the sense to know that when I compare an extremely healthy vibrant 70 year old to the majority, that if I end up in that majority it will be my own fault and nobody else’s.

Speaking of attitudes, to me this is the biggest factor in aging. People walking around talking about how old they feel. How everything aches. How they can’t do what they used to. And I’m hearing that from people who are my age. Are they serious? I suppose they are, but I don’t get it. I feel great! Again, I know part of it is because I’m healthy. But seriously, I think a lot of it is in their minds. Because I know these people, like my husband and some of our friends, and none of them has any real health issues. They have attitude issues. I hear people in their 40’s and 50’s saying things like, “I just can’t do what I used to any more.” Which I find funny because I can still pretty much do everything I did when I was young. Maybe not to the extent that I once did, but I still can and do enjoy all the same things that I did when I was young. And I really truly believe that the way I look at life has everything to do with it. Because I refuse to be like that. I am not ready to be put out to pasture. And I hope I still won’t be 20 or even 30 years from now.

And since this is a sexually positive blog, let’s use sex for an example. Even at 50, I have no problem getting into all the positions that I did when I was young, and even some we never even thought to try back then. And yes, I can still contort my body into all the crazy ways I used to, and stay up all night making love for hours on end. Granted, I am a bit more stiff and sore the next morning (but only a bit) and we don’t have marathon sex as often as we used to. But on the plus side, the orgasms are even better than they used to be, and I’m constantly trying new ways to keep it interesting. So in many ways sex is even better than it was when I was young.

I also think it helps that I really don’t look my age. But I’ve seen people who are younger than me that look old. I think part of it is how they carry themselves and feel about themselves. There is a lot to say about attitude. It shows through in every aspect of your being. For instance, I don’t dress my age, or however it is that people my age are supposed to dress. Now I’m not talking about trying to look 20 when you’re not. That, to me, actually ages a person and makes them look a bit ridiculous. What I’m talking about is dressing sharp and classy. That never goes out of style no matter how old you are. You will never catch me in elastic waisted jeans and a sweater with whatever the upcoming holiday is, appliqued across the front. And I still spend time taking care of how my hair, nails, skin and makeup look, and enjoying all those thing that make me the girly girl that I am.

I think once you let yourself go completely and resign yourself to being old, that’s exactly what you become. And maybe for some people that is just fine. They want it that way. But I’m not about to do that any time soon. Hopefully I never will. I want to go out in a flame, kicking and dancing, living life to it’s fullest, and loving every minute of it.