So, this was going to be a rant about Glenn Beck and how someone over at Fox needs to please, please for the love of decency get him some medication.
(Probably they don’t have decent health insurance over at Fox… poor Glenn)
But, instead I’m gonna talk about ignorance. Ignorance as a method for protecting children from the outside world and the evils in it.
Conservative folks really seem to think it’s an effective method.
Take, for example, the back-to-school speech President Obama gave to the nation’s children (or some of them) last week.
Seriously, check it out first, if you have not already, before reading on…. The President’s Speech
Some conservative parents were outraged the President was sneaking into schools via television to press a partisan political agenda upon their kids. Some even planned to keep their kids home from school.
How sad.
How sad that conservative parents have so little faith in the ideas they have taught their children to believe them threatened by one speech from one President.
How sad that they have condemned a speech without having any knowledge whatsoever of the content of said speech.
Sad, yet not surprising.
This is, after all, how conservatives protect their children from the world. They cloak them in a safety blanket of ignorance.
A classic example of this practice at work is Abstinence Only Education.
Funded through over $1 billion of your tax money over the last 8 years, this program teaches exclusively “abstinence from sexual activity outside a mutually faithful monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the expected standard of sexual activity.” These programs are not permitted to discuss contraceptive methods except to emphasize their failure rates.
In 2007, Congress ordered a study that found “middle school students who took part in abstinence-only education were just as likely to have sex in their teenage years as those who did not.
What? You mean telling kids not to have sex doesn’t work? And keeping birth control and condoms a secret doesn’t make them less likely to have sex either? What about that safety blanket of ignorance Conservatives promised me would keep my child safe from sex?
Here’s the thing y’all… and I realize most of you reading this probably get this and I am preaching to the choir… but people have been figuring out how to have sex (and prevent pregnancy) long before sex education even existed. Before we had television and the internet to poison the minds of of young people with filthy images of fornication they some how figured out where to stick what and how to move it to feel ohhhh so good.
Because we are biologically programmed to figure it out on our own and to wanna do it. Wanting to have sex is as natural and normal as wanting a slice of cheese pizza. It’s what keeps us here, alive, existing. And no amount of hiding your kids from the facts is going to keep them from experiencing that hunger.
Get. Over. It.
And start having a real conversation with your kids. Have this conversation from the point of view that the choice for them to wait or not does not belong to you. You want it to, you want to be able to say “No” and “Stop That” and have them listen automatically, like when they were 6. Believe me, I resist the urge to lock my daughter in a closet till she’s 21 every day. But as much as we want to make these choices for our kids, they are not ours to make. When the time comes, it will be your son or daughter’s choice to make. Scaring them will not work. Our children are far more wise than we give them credit for some days and they know scare tactics and misinformation when they hear it.
What can ya do? We can try to show them the best practices, should they choose to have sex. We can show them how to stay as safe as possible, should they choose to have sex. We can tell them there are emotional consequences and while sex is not evil, they should proceed cautiously and with a full set of accurate facts to help them make INFORMED CHOICES.
Because having this information could save them from consequences neither of you is prepared to live with… or able to live with.
Now, with all this ranting I’ve done, I should note that the 2010 federal budget proposed by President Obama will eliminate Abstinence Only Education in favor of more comprehensive sex education programs. As a mother I am thrilled and relieved to know my child will be getting the whole picture she needs, in addition to my perspective on the situation.
My hope is that more people will come around to realize this is how it should be, with the research that has been done on the methods of the last 8 years. And if you are still in doubt about Abstinence Education being an utter failure, go talk to Sarah Palin about how it’s worked in her family.
Leighj
I’m one of those ‘conservatives’ that kept their kids out of school that day. Why because while I have to sign a permission slip to have my kid watch a video on gravity and can’t send my child’s epilepsy medication to school I was not informed of what was being done with my child’s education. By the time I was able to read the speech on Monday when it was released it was too late to change (my daughter was staying at her mothers for the extra day). I also believe had the presidential speech been last year at this time many parents would have done the same thing. I was angry that I was UNABLE to be informed outside the rantings of the media.
I take an active role in my children’s education. I work with them on their homework, I talk to them about issues, I watch TV with them, take them to the park, let them go out by themselves, talk to them about sexuality and sex.
Personally I would like to eliminate sex education in schools. Why? because parents have relinquished their responsibility to their children to the government. I want X-Rated broadcast TV so parents will not trust the TV to their children’s education and use the OFF BUTTON.
I believe that there should not be any kind of gay marriage law and neither a straight marriage law. Let people marry who they want and keep this religious institution out of government.
I want my kids to grow up and have sex with people, safely, responsibly and I want to know that they have been taught the EXACT way that I want. To do that I TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT that and how I feel about politics, history, science, religion and pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE. And then hope and pray that some of it sticks.
I sometimes hate calling myself a conservative. I’m an atheistic, poly, bi-curious, kinky, small government loving, free-enterprising, patriotic, flag waving, white male husband and parent. I don’t like letting the government take care of me. I don’t like giving up my ability to succeed or fail to make someone less driven more comfortable.
Ok I’ve ranted enough when I get going I kinda can’t stop…
Maybe I should stop calling myself a conservative and start calling myself something else.
You’re right ignorance can be bliss and when you end up with teen pregnancies and STD’s it’s hard to believe that people would stick to the same ignorant teachings. I’m glad for the change in the program. I do agree that telling a kid that no sex is safer than sex but I also want them to know how to wrap that rascal when they make the decision too.
Laurel, you and I, I believe, are good parents. We love and educate our kids with OUR EXAMPLE and our WORDS and we believe we and hard work are the only way our kids will be success regardless of who is in office.
Laurel
Leigh – actually you sound a bit more Libertarian to me than Conservative, but everyone gets to choose the label they want.
And, I think you are correct about being actively involved in your child’s education. I don’t think sex education should be removed from schools, however, for several reasons. Most parents don’t know enough about the topic, facts wise, to teach their children properly. This doesn’t make them bad parents any more than not knowing enough about Algebra and American History to properly educate your kid makes you a bad parent.
Schools should not be teaching kids when they should have sex, THAT is a parent’s role, but how it works, how to protect yourself and what the risks can be definitely fall under the purvue of health education and the resulting reduction in teen pregnancy and STIs is in the interest of taxpayers and public health in general.
.-= Laurel´s last blog ..Review ~ Evolved French Kiss =-.
Leighj
I’d like a label of “I’m not stupid, I’m ignoring you” but I don’t think that some would like it.
I grew up in a right-wing religious household. My sex education consisted being handed a book that did not talk about anything more than reproduction and sex within marriage. I took it upon myself to “rebel” and learn about STDs, contraception, the social aspects and emotional implications of sex.
I DON’T want that for my kids and hope others don’t have the education that I did. Outside of the religious nut jobs, we(meaning our country as a whole) really are uptight about sex in society and have a LOT of hangups. Breastfeeding in public is considered offensive to many. We are embarrassed and guilty and that has caused a HUGE problem in education let alone with the physical and psychological effects of ignorance in sexual knowledge.
I do have a pipe dream that most American’s have basic knowledge but I’m dreaming or my definition is a bit too much for many. You’re right that we need SOMETHING and unless we have a way to get parents educated we need to educate the next generation properly.
.-= Leighj´s last blog ..leighj: Found my first geocache WOOT! =-.
red
I was oblivious to this event, as I am not in the states…but seriously…WTF? A speech, from the president…is a threat???
Sorry, I don’t wish to offend so I’ll cut off any rant I might have had to add…but I’m a little horrified, frankly.
Leigh, agreed, you should have the right to make informed decisions for your kids, not just responding to fear mongering. I am similarly horrified that you had to sign a “permission slip to have [your] kid watch a video on gravity”. Seriously? Gravity?!?!?!…WTF?
I’m moving to USA soon so I’d better learn to be less flabbergasted at this stuff, or else I’m going to be exclaiming “WTF?????” way too often
Not that my country (Canada) doesn’t have its own fair share of WTF-ness going on, to be fair and for the record. I’m not picking on the US from my pedestal…
.-= red´s last blog ..Liberator Cube =-.
Leighj
There has been a LOT of controversy with many issues of varying importance with this President. Such as his citizenship (I even say WTF) and the healthcare debate.
In addition the time that it takes to show a speech that personally was not much more than, “Don’t be a fool stay in school and work hard and you’ll go far. Not like me I screwed around in school and became Prez”
On a side note the permission slip also was for the viewing of “An Inconvenient Truth” which makes a bit more sense.
Unfortunately in the US people like to get all huffy about stupid stuff and forget the really important things.
I’m lucky that in my little town the WTF is not as bad. But you mix in some crazy right or left wing nuts in any school and you end up screwing the kids out of a good education.
Kayla
I completely agree with what you said. I couldn’t believe that some parents really wanted to keep their children home from school. And I’m also completely against the abstinance-only education as well. Unfortunately, the government still will provide “extra” funding for the schools that agree to teach abstinance-only. Definitely against my better judgment, but that’s hopefully something Obama will change at some point.
Saraid
Yeah, keeping your kid home on that day seemed weird. Especially since all he did was encourage kids to study and stay in school.
And yeah, abstinence education is bullshit and comprehensive is the only way to go. I was lucky that I was a reader and went to all kinds of websites like Scarleteen to get sex information.
.-= Saraid´s last blog ..Review: Hathor Body Exotic Love Oil =-.
Dompanda
I’ve been wondering about this since it happened. Maybe it’s just me but the idea of keeping the kids home just seems petulant. The parents don’t like President Obama, so they’re going to show their rebellion by using their kids as their proxies.
Honestly though, I have to question what really was the Obama’s point in making the video to show at schools? Oh I’m sure he meant well and wanted to send a positive message, but to most kids (especially at a younger age) the PotUS is rather a nebulous concept and him lecturing kids about staying in school and applying themselves probably won’t have a huge impact. I agree that the topic is important and worth spending some effort in emphasising, but perhaps a better way to do so would have been to enlist the aid of some of the names and faces that kids are more likely to recognize and listen to. In our society, that probably means movie stars and sports figures – which I think is somewhat sad, but there it is. Ask the average 4th grader who they’re more familiar with, President Obama or Daniel Radcliffe and I dare say Obama isn’t likely to get the nod. If we’re going to invest time, money and energy in this kind of message (and I’ll definately agree that it’s a message worth the investment), then lets do it right and utilize tools appropriate to the audience in question.
As for abstinence based education, I remember being taught about abstinence in Sex Ed class when I was growing up years and years ago in public schools. As kids we tend to be graphically based – give us pictures to ooh and aaah and eewww at and you’ve got our attention. I think that’s part of the problem – in my classes they had all sorts of visual aides showing the reproductive system in all it’s scientific detail and explaining how the process worked. I remember them discussing (briefly) that abstinence was the best option and that it avoided STDs and so on. But we also had the same discussion about condoms and birth control (imagine watching 7th graders passing around a condom and a pack of BC pills as visual aides – I kid you not). IMO, abstinence should be taught as PART of a sex ed curriculum, but as a stand-alone it’s obviously toothless and useless.
The bottom line is that sooner or later our kids need to learn to think critically. They need to learn how to make rational decisions and weigh multiple options, possibilities and consequences in the process. Teaching them just one thing – abstinence – does nothing, especially when the biological imperative to get laid is so strong. Teaching our kids to be effective thinkers involves giving them ALL the information and helping them learn how to parse it, consider it, and decide on a course of action. That means teaching them about abstinence along with all other options, and taking the time to explain to them what the differences are, the benefits of each, the difficulties of each, and maybe even some encouragement in getting them to think about the topic themselves instead of just giggling nervously.
For what it’s worth, I don’t have kids sadly. If I did have kids, my preference would be for them to practice abstinence – I think most parents are that way. Heck, I’m even old fashioned enough that if I had a daughter, I’d consider protecting her abstinence with a hunting rifle. (OK, maybe I’m not quite that bad – but I would definately be pretty goram protective!) But the bottom line to me is that abstinence education can only work as part of a comprehensive curriculum that takes the time to explore ALL options and educate the kids on what they mean on ALL levels.