It’s that time of the year again. The jewelry and chocolate companies are pushing their wares harder than usual, and people are making plans for Valentine’s Day. Eden Café has been all about the romance of late, which is fine. But I’m going to write something a bit different. I’m going to talk about what annoys me not about the day itself, but a majority of people who celebrate it. I could go complain about how it’s a commercialized day, but that’s just business. I could also complain that commercials and other advertisements perpetuate stereotypes, but they are catering to people who fit those stereotypes. Why else would they spend the money on the ads if people like this don’t exist or are a minority?

I think perhaps the most annoying things (for me) about Valentine’s Day are single women who bemoan their status on this particular day. Some mope, some whine, some bitch, some do combinations of or all three. Before I go any further, if you’re female and you’re reading this and you’re nothing like the women I describe—kudos to you. But these women do exist. I’ve met a few of them. And I can’t stand them. These are the women the ads I mentioned in the first paragraph cater to. And these women drink it up like they’re drowning, and piss and moan when they don’t get exactly what they want on V-Day. I believe these women just might be the majority.

I remember when I was twenty-one and working my very first job. The one and only V-Day I endured while working there came along and the single women started their ritual complaining about being alone. We were a relatively small group of workers all total, so there was maybe two or three single women. I wasn’t really annoyed with them, just disappointed that they were so wrapped up in their status and V-Day itself. I went out and bought large chocolate hearts and gave one to each of the single women. I was like, “See, you have chocolate for Valentine’s Day and you didn’t even need a man to get it. You can enjoy the day without having to be in a relationship.” While they were pleased and thought I was quite cute for bringing them sweets, I somehow doubt they truly understood what I was getting at.

While I don’t seek it out for myself, I do understand the desire to be with someone, and to have them show you how they feel. But aren’t their better (and cheaper) ways to do it than with cliché flowers, chocolate, and jewelry? And why must it be on that specific day? For some people, it really is the only day of the year where their partner shows their love and appreciation for them. And that is terribly sad. But if your partner shows their love for you in non-materialistic ways, but you’re put out unless they get you a diamond ring or some other expensive trinket or whatever? Then I think it’s time you reevaluate your priorities.

I once knew a girl who was obsessed with getting an expensive engagement ring. I know, this story isn’t about Valentine’s Day, but it’s in keeping with my point about material items. I told her that I thought it would be cute and romantic if a would-be fiancé of mine spontaneously bought a cheap plastic ring from a gumball machine and proposed to me with it. She thought I was out of my mind and just couldn’t understand where I was coming from. She was a lost cause.

Then there was this other girl. She was dating a friend of mine and she and I became fairly close friends. In the few days leading up to Valentine’s Day, she kept saying that my friend had to get her something nice. Well, he spent at least $100 on her and then she dumped him the following week. I remained friends with her because I know that break-ups happen, but I was a bit pissed when she confided in me that she had been thinking about breaking up with him for several weeks. I’ll do the math for you: She had been considering a break-up while she was insisting he buy her something for V-Day. But her mom was a materialistic bitch herself so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. Our friendship began to sour after her confession.

I’m sure there are some guys who are perfectly happy buying their girlfriends or wives lots of things, expensive or cheap. But I bet you more guys are guilted or roped into it. Or maybe sex is withheld until the woman gets what she wants. The comedian Patrice O’Neal put it best: “Women hold the pussy hostage.” Sure, some women want things bought for them year-round, but the demand and the stakes seem higher for V-Day.

I’m not necessarily against the day itself. I have a lovely memory of being in the third grade and getting a V-Day card from a boy I had a crush on. Granted, we all had to give everyone in our class a card, but I noticed that mine was larger than everyone else’s. Needless to say, I thought maybe I was special. I think the sweetest thing that happened to me on V-Day was a couple years ago when my ex-owner “D” e-mailed me to simply say: “Happy Valentine’s Day, Slut.” The subject read: “Just because.” It was simple, sweet, free, and completely unexpected or asked for. I was touched.

More people need to back off the materialism of the day, and give and accept simple gestures like the one D gave me. I think the day would be more enjoyable. And they should do these things more often than once a year. If you do, maybe you’ll find that it isn’t necessary to have one specific day to celebrate your love. If you already see it this way, then good for you. If you’re a guy who is dating or married to a materialistic woman (or even vice versa) who demands that you buy them many things, and you’re not happy, maybe it’s time you figure out exactly why you’re with this person. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find being with them isn’t worth the literal price you pay.

Oh, and single ladies? Why don’t you treat yourself to something nice, expensive or cheap/free this Valentine’s Day and just enjoy being alive?