Does it have to do with my body? Of course that’s part of it. I know I need to loose weight, however I already have; almost 3 dress sizes down and I’m still not happy. Should I exercise more? I will again once my chiropractor gives me the all clear.
Does my man want me? Very much so. He wanted me when I was bigger; he still wants me now that I’m a bit smaller. Do I want me? Well I’m learning to love myself, so that’s a start. I actually said “I love you” to myself the other day while masturbating to NCIS in the bathtub. I felt silly, dunno why no one was there to see or hear me…except myself. At the same time it felt good. I know that I need to love myself more.
I’ve joined a meetup group to help women find their inner sex goddesses. Our first meetup is in 5 days. I’m excited and nervous. I actually think I’ll be the youngest woman there. From what I can tell from the other members I also think I may be the most sexually experienced, save for the group organizer. At 28 it’s an interesting prospect to be more sexually experienced than women twice my age.
At the same time is that really going to help me get sexy though? What the hell does sexy mean anyway??? According to Dictionary.com it means: 1 – concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué 2 – sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality 3 – excitingly appealing; glamorous. Well!
I’m certainly not obsessed with sex and I don’t consider myself risqué. I also am not radiating sexuality, nor am I glamorous. Am I excitingly appealing? LOL I don’t think so, but my boyfriend always tells me that I could have any man I wanted. I don’t believe that. Though I suppose right there is my problem. I don’t *think* I’m sexy, I don’t *believe* that I could be glamorous or appealing, so of course I’m not!
I know that the majority of it is a lifestyle change, which I’ve pretty much been in since we moved to San Francisco. It’s weird ‘cuz here I’m actually getting things I want yet I am forever seeing so many other things that I want now; it seems more attainable. So now it’s a change of turning myself into who I really want to be. And a frump wearing Optimus Prime pants sitting on the couch certainly isn’t it! So what is it then?
I don’t know, and I suppose that’s the main problem. Saying “I want to be sexy again” is what I want, but that’s really quite vague isn’t it? I need to become my own personal version of sexy. So often sexiness is personified in a commercial standard of physical beauty, though deep down I really do know that’s a load of shite.
Perhaps I should start by replacing my Optimus Prime pants? Nah! Well…I might have to anyway…they’re getting too big!
Leela
You can do it! I did it myself and I coach people through this–it is totally possible. But pressure on yourself won’t help, and it starts way, way outside the bedroom.
Suggestion: If you like chocolate, start with a really exquisite piece–just one square of the really good stuff. Put it in your mouth. Let it dissolve on your tongue, and focus–completely and totally–on the wetness of your mouth, the smoothness of the chocolate and the slight grit of the cocoa, the place where taste and smell mingle in your nose as you exhale, the way your muscles react to the pleasure. The key is to get back in touch with the awesome of your body.
Jessica Elizabeth
Thanks Leela! And yes…I love chocolate…white chocolate is my favorite ^^ yum…
And you’re right, it does start way out of the bedroom. I know this’ll be a long journey, but I can already see improvement in little things here and there, so I know that I’m actually on the journey now!
Tia Miller
I could not agree more with this article! I had my second baby not too long ago, and wow….I havent felt sexy in a long time. Gonna try the chocolate though! Thanks so much for voicing what so many of us women feel!
Vally
I have seen women of all sizes appear sexy, it is a mental thing more than physical for sure. I know when a man thinks I am sexy, I start to act more sexy, more flirty or naughty or playful… if I am attracted to the man.
It sounds to me like you already are a sex goddess, even in your Optimus Prime pants! You just haven’t realized it yet.
I does sound like you are on the way though!
Jessica Elizabeth
That’s been one thing that’s been hardest for me is seeing women larger than me, even much larger than me, being so much sexier than I feel. Not that they don’t deserve to be sexy, ‘cuz they so do! Just that I haven’t gotten to that point yet of fully letting go of inhibitions to let loose and all that
And yes, it is so much easier to act sexy when a man you’re attracted to sees you as sexy ^^
P'Gell
Jessie Beth, I am so glad you are taking the first steps in Loving Yourself. It’s the way to become “sexy.” I can pretty much guarantee it.
A few years ago, I got tired of looking sick and tired and old. I realized I was still a good looking woman, My Man still wanted me (all the time) and I had a lot of good years left. I had “let myself go” a little when I had little kids. I figured, “WTF? Why does it matter?” It matters, when you are invisible to people, when you don’t feel like you are there, either while in a crowd or alone. When you know you can do better.
Loving yourself is the beginning. It pretty much started when My Man bought me my first sex toy. It proved HE thought I was sexy enough. But, I knew I had to do more. Then, I found ‘silly’ things, like making sure I put make up on every morning, even if I don’t have plans to go anywhere, or even if I had nothing to to. It made me feel pretty and special and…..sexy. Buy a few sexy clothes, just a new sweater with a low neck line is a good start. Show that cleavage! Dye you hair an interesting color. Get a hair cut, something different. Short on cash? Some of the “discount” hair cutting places actually do a GREAT job and will do anything you want.
And, honey, keep telling yourself you love yourself. It’s the first step and you’ve already taken it.
Good luck on the road to rediscovering yourself and reinventing yourself. I did it when I was a LOT older than you are, you can do it now.
Jessica Elizabeth
^^ Thanks for the awesome comment! I’m actually starting by making sure I wear one sexy thing a day; even if it’s a piece of jewelry or some awesome panties I got myself from Frederick’s of Hollywood a couple months ago
And yea, the Optimus Prime pants are slowly being replaced by some rockin’ fleece polka dot ones, only ‘cuz Prime has a hole in a very bad place to have a hole in pants lol
It’s funny you mentioned dying my hair ‘cuz my mostly grey roots (yes, my mom went grey by 30, and i’m turning 29 in 2 weeks, and yes. almost fully grey ugh lol) are way too long now so I’m dying my hair tonight!
*hugs*
P'Gell
What color, Jess? I went red, all kinds of red, for years, as that was my highlight color in my original hair color. Just about a year or so ago, I started using black, blue black is my favorite now. And I put a Manic Panic like blue over the black at every 3 shampoos or so, and I love the way it looks.
Let me know what color you decide to go, and we’ll see it on your next video.
Keep loving yourself, sweetie.
Jessica Elizabeth
Oh red, definitely! I usually go red. I have grey-green eyes so it really brings them out