My g-spot is something that has been a large source of pleasure – and a large source of frustration. I’ve felt g-spot pleasure before, and it was something I absolutely loved. Since those first couple times of feeling it though, I haven’t been able to locate or touch it in the exact same way that brought pleasure the first time.

You see, the first time was when I was with my first partner. This was before I’d gotten interested in too many issues of sexuality, and I honestly probably had only heard of the g-spot in passing. This partner would enjoy sliding his fingers in and applying pressure to the g-spot. At the time, I had absolutely no idea that the g-spot was what he was stimulating, but I do remember that it would make me fall back onto the bed in amazing pleasure. Nothing I’d felt before compared to that amazingly exquisite pleasure I was feeling. He knew what he was doing, of course, and while I was always too uncomfortable to ever orgasm from the sensation, I know I received quite a bit of pleasure from it.

Of course, all good things seem to come to an end. That partner and I went our separate ways (and for good reasons that I won’t get into here). I’d tried multiple times in vain to use my own hands to replicate what he had done with his. After multiple failed attempts, I gave up, and I didn’t explore any sort of g-spot pleasure for a couple years. At this point, I honestly just didn’t think anything of it, and having never touched a sex toy, g-spot pleasure seemed something that was only attainable through a partner.

Well, now I have said partner, but we honestly haven’t attempted much in the realm of g-spot pleasure. As much as I praise having open communication and sexuality with your partner, this is something I’m afraid to push about. I know he’d happily want to attempt it (and has on a couple occasions), but when we usually attempt it, it seems to fall short, and I always feel selfish for even asking him to try. Maybe my vaginal muscles have become less strong since that first partner. Maybe my new partner just doesn’t know the exact spot. For whatever reason, attempting current g-spot pleasure with my boyfriend just never seems to work the way I want. I know I could easily instruct him, but I just don’t want to be insulting – and as I previously stated, it just feels selfish to have anything concentrated on me.

For now, my g-spot exploration has been thus attempted with sex toys. That’s been a difficult journey as well. Who would think that, for all of the toys advertised to hit your g-spot, none of them see to work? I don’t know about other people, but those little tiny “curves” at the end of a sex toy never seem to do anything for me. Maybe my g-spot is just difficult. I’ve found a couple that work for me, but it’s been a long journey towards finding those. The Pure Wand works okay, but the one that has seriously been my savior is actually the Bent Graduate. I wish someone would have directed me there when I started, but all of the recommendations I was given were for the Ella and Pure Wand. With the Bent Graduate, I’ve been able to reliably hit my g-spot, and while it doesn’t feel as amazing as I remember it being, it’s still something that feels pleasurably different from clitoral stimulation.

Now my next biggest hurdle that I want to jump is female ejaculation. I’ve tried checking out a couple books on the subject, but so far, I haven’t had much success. Now that I’ve finally found my g-spot, I’ve been paying attention to the subject, and hearing about all of the pleasure that women have been receiving through female ejaculation just seems like the next logical step. Despite having found my g-spot, stimulating it enough to achieve a g-spot orgasm or to do any sort of female ejaculation seems to be difficult. The books say that you have to slowly move from clitoral orgasms to g-spot orgasms, but I’ve honestly never been one for patience.

I mean, I’ve even bought all of the materials needed for it. If only my body would cooperate. I bought a Liberator Throe to avoid having a mess, and I’ve bought multiple different toys that reviewers have recommended were great for ejaculation. I have lots of lubricant to use to ease insertion, and I’ve even bought those books in hopes of learning more about it. I just wish my body would get the very-obvious prod and just allow me to do it.

But for me? It’s a good journey. I’m glad to have rediscovered my g-spot and the pleasure that it contains. I want to move on to bringing that pleasure into my partnered sex regularly, but I think I probably won’t attempt that in a larger scale until I’ve fully learned exactly where my g-spot is and how I like it pleasured. Aside from partnered sex, though, my closest goal right now is to achieve female ejaculation. From there? Who knows. But at least I can always know that I’ve explored my g-spot, discovered pleasure I didn’t know existed, and become a little bit more in contact with my sexuality.