Not all pornography is created equal. I learned that early on while watching clips sent to me by my boyfriend. Sometimes we watch things together, sometimes he just recommends things to me and I watch them, and it’ll be like “Yeah, that was nice”. But it took me a very long time to figure out what kind of porn I actually liked.

I’m not a fan of very predictable movies, it doesn’t matter if it’s porn, or conventional films you find playing at a local movie theatre. I like something that’ll surprise me, even if it’s something small. I also like it when I can’t predict the ending, but I don’t find many movies like that anymore. And to me, when a porn flick begins with a girl in an office with two guys, I can tell you exactly where it’s going to go, because it’ll be just like any other porn movie that occurs in an office. (Spoiler: It’s generally a threesome!)

I’m very good at visualizing things with my own imagination. It helps that I read a lot, and that I can conjure up the images in my head from the scenes written out in books. It’s more interesting that way, I think, than having something presented to you. When I’m reading something that’s exceptionally smutty, I can sometimes imagine myself in that exact situation, living it out the way one of the characters is experiencing the scene. I can’t do that with movies because I end up feeling like I’m just peeking in on someone else’s world, like I’m doing something that I shouldn’t be doing. I know it’s a form of voyeurism, if you can think of it like that, but it’s just not something that really makes me tick.

But reading erotica? The words just blend in with my imagination, and I can be the heroine. I can imagine how it would feel to experience the actions, and feel the of emotions that overrun the character, just based on the words. It’s a pretty exhilarating feeling to be able to do that. It probably also doesn’t hurt that I tend to end up having some toy playtime during, or after I’m done, reading a particular steamy passage or chapter.

I can still sit through a porn flick, and I’ll still enjoy it. I might feel a little put off just by the sheer graphic images, or the fact that sometimes I just don’t understand why there’s no plot, or how on earth they managed to hoist someone up like that with what looks like only two pieces of rope. I enjoy watching porn with my boyfriend a lot better than watching it alone; probably because I know he likes it a lot, and that makes me like it more than I normally do. But conventional films or clips don’t do much for me, not as much as my imagination coupled with a decent smutty story.

I’ve had some university friends who talk about how boring porn is, or how they don’t understand why people watch it. I understand why people watch it, but I also tell them that it’s up to them to find something that works for them. Whether it’s a different genre, maybe a type of fetish, or just a different media. Realizing how much I enjoyed reading erotica (over just romantic novels) really opened up my world to a new realm of possibilities for solo-play. But it also makes me enjoy spending time with my boyfriend more, because sometimes he offers to act out passages that I liked, and I have to admit, living it out is a lot more satisfying than reading (or watching) something sexy.

  • Adriana Kraft

    MMmm, you sound like the perfect reader for erotic romance! I’d also recommend checking out porn created by women for women. Candida Royale has several, and Nina Hartley, as well. I find when I’m watching a flick made by/for women it’s easy for me to imagine myself in the scene I’m viewing – often deliciously so!

    Adriana

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