I think a lot of what hems people up is their inability to laugh at themselves and find humor in certain situations – especially when it comes to sexual exploration and experimentation. Recently, the PYT and I have been experimenting with adult toys and the last thing we, or I guess I should say I, tried was the crystal vaginal balls.

I hadn’t told Big Papi that I ordered the balls (I like to have some little surprises up my sleeve) and they arrived while I was home alone. There wasn’t one moment’s hesitation before I tested them out. Well, a slight hesitation ‘cause I washed them first. Eventually, my oldest daughter came home with her siblings and I giggled to myself as I walked around the house trying to see if I felt anything. Unfortunately, I didn’t, but that story is for another day.

While I was using the bathroom one slipped out (don’t worry I caught it before it hit the toilet water!) so I tried to get the other one to come out. I’m a frequent kegel exerciser so I figured it would be easy. I contracted and released, and I thought I pushed, but nothing happened. Hmm? I squatted and pushed. Nothing. I propped up my leg and reached for it. Still nothing. By now I’m laughing a little and wiggling around trying to see if I can feel it. Nope. So, when all else fails, what does a Cougar do? Wait for her PYT: Big Papi.

When he finally got home from work I followed him to the bedroom. “Babe… uh, I need a favor.” I put on my sweetest smile. He stopped taking off his tie and looked at me suspiciously, “What babe?” Instead of directly answering his question, I showed him the ball in the cute little heart-shaped box.

“What’s that?” he asked.

I explained then added, “This is just one of them.”

“Where’s the other one?”

“It’s still in there…” and I raised my eyebrows while I stood there grinning.

All I got was a perplexed look.

“… and I can’t get it out.” That said I fell to the bed laughing. “Babe, I need you to get it out.”

“How?” He said while grinning.

“You gotta go in there. I can’t reach it.”

“When?”

“Now.”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“The kids.”

“The door is locked… come on!”

I take off my shorts and panties then lay on the bed. He inserted one finger into my vagina and reached.

“I don’t feel anything.”

We had already started to snicker and that just made me laugh harder. “It’s higher,” I said and laughed some more.

“Stop laughing! I can’t do it when you laugh.” Of course he’s laughing. “You’re getting wet.”

“Mmmmm….”

“Babe! Stop!”

“Sorry,” I said. (You know I giggled, right?)

“I’m getting all excited,” he said, “in a weird way.” And he points to the very obvious bulge in his pants.

After five more minutes of trying and with his knuckles pressed against my vagina, he feels it. He can’t guide it with one finger so he said, “Can I use two?

“Uh, I think your penis is wider than two fingers!”

“Oh … yea!”

He finally grabbed the ball and pulled it out while turning his head. “Here, I can’t look,” he said, which only caused more laughter.

A few minutes later he said, “You are very wet.”

Before I went to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner and before one of the children could knock on the bedroom door we took advantage of the moment, and my readiness, and enjoyed a quickie. Although I didn’t get the pleasure from the crystal vaginal ball that I thought I would, I ended up with something much better: A good laugh and a good lay!