Definitions in BDSM relationships.

Posted by TitsMcScandalcloseAuthor: TitsMcScandal Name:
Email: minty411@gmail.com
Site: http://thebloggingslave.com
About: 19 year old [kinky slave] girl who loves animals, writing, baking, and talking non-stop. Biggest dislike is tomatoes and cockroaches, not in that order. Writes nonstop on her blog and is a self admitted blog-a-holic, visit- http://thebloggingslave.com/. Oh, and happens to be obsessed with all things sexual.See Authors Posts (26)

You’re not a TRUE slave. That’s not the right way to dominate. You can’t be a true submissive if you do that.

These are sentences that are seen in many different forums. If you go on the popular fetish social networking community fetlife, you will read statements such as these in every single group. I am pretty sure it grates on 95% of the people’s nerves but it is that darned 5% that keeps these elitist statements alive.

My definition? I am a young slave slut to a loving sadistic Daddy. Whoa, hold up, Daddy? That must mean I’m into ageplay! Not true, yet people would say that he is not a ‘true’ Daddy then. Since when did relationship definitions need to undergo public scrutiny to determine if they are ‘true’?

No two people are exactly alike so why are we assuming that the type of M/s relationship I have will be exactly alike for the next couple? Just because two relationships don’t mirror each other doesn’t make either one more or less valid.

I don’t need a lot of micromanaging. If I am told to clean the kitchen I can decide if I want to clean the stove first or the fridge. However, if another slave needs micromanagement, it does not mean [s]he is any more or any less of a slave than I am. It seems that people are so quick to shove their own ways down other people’s throats. The reason my relationship works is because neither of us like micromanagement. I found someone who fits me. No way is any more ‘true’ than the next.

Whether you are a just in the bedroom, or 24/7, or every third Saturday of every other month couple, as long as you are happy with the way your relationship works, let the ‘true’ ways go. Your way is true enough for you and that is enough. Just because I am a 24/7 slave doesn’t mean the boy who only dons a collar in the bedroom is any less than I am. Doing what feels right for your relationship and your happiness is what you should do. There is no hierarchy either. A pet is no less than a sub is no less than a slave. Every relationship is wired differently, as is every individual person.

For a community that is composed of people who can’t be completely themselves in ‘vanilla’ settings for fear of being judged or ostracized, there is sure a lot of judgment within. Embrace who and what you are, and others for who and what they are. We are all different, and that is a good thing. Whether you are a sub/slave/pet/girl/boi/Dom/Mommy/Mistress/Sir/Daddy, embrace what makes you, YOU. Just because someone else doesn’t do it the same way you do doesn’t mean that either way is wrong. There are many paths to being [insert title here], choose the one that is right for you.