There are times when my twitter stream makes me feel old. Times when I wonder what I am doing being friends with a group of people who are clearly at a different place in their life than I am. I guess there isn’t really anything wrong with befriending these people, though I do find myself needing to bite my tongue when I read the things they gripe about.
One of the things that really makes me roll my eyes are the complaints made by teenagers (or adult children still living at home) about being their parents ‘chore slave’. They’re simply outraged that their parents would have the audacity to require them to be active participants in keeping a house that they live in, typically free of charge, clean.
Let me tell you something, oh wise teenagers. If anyone is a slave to the chores of the house, it’s your mother and father. From the time you are born until you move out, and usually well beyond that point in time, we’re busting our asses to provide for you. We hold down jobs that aren’t always fulfilling to make sure you’ve got what you need. A house to live in, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, school supplies, and clothes. We work overtime during the holidays so that you can have the newest game console and a college savings account. Our free time is spent cooking you food, washing your clothes, chauffeuring you around to various extracurricular activities and sleepovers. We’ve also got to squeeze in enough time to shower ourselves, pay the bills and go grocery shopping. We want to be able to do stuff that we want to do too!
Children grow up. As they grow they become less and less dependant on their parents. They become capable of contributing to the household duties. It’s only fair that you help with the dishes, considering you eat off of them and your mom cooked dinner. For Pete’s sake, you’ve got a dishwasher and all you have to do is load the damn thing and turn it on! When I was your age I had to stand at the sink and hand wash all the pots and pans, plates, silverware and cups for a family of 7! You can clean up after yourself. You can take out the trash, cut the grass, put up your own freaking clothes and vacuum the living room every once in a while. At the very least, you’re paying your parents back for all of the free shit you get. More importantly, you’re learning skills that are necessary for living on your own. Unless you plan on living in your own filth.
My oldest son is going to be 8 next month and he is always complaining about all of the chores I have him doing. Of course, I complained when I was his age too. I had other stuff I wanted to be doing. I wanted to watch Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. I wanted to play football with my friends outside. I wanted to go spend the night with my bff. I didn’t have time to wash dishes and pick up the living room. Now that he’s doing the same thing to me I understand how my parents and grandparents felt.
When you teenagers find yourself complaining about how miserable your parents are making your life, consider that we’re probably doing it on purpose. After 15, 16 and 17 years of you acting like an entitled brat we’re starting to wish we were a family of birds and it was as easy as shoving you out of the nest to fly on your own.
Darling Dove
I’m disappointed to find this here.
EC is going to turn into a mommy blog too now?
I understand that people hate teens but god if we don’t get it enough other ways, like the local news, which has 2-3 stories a week about dumb shit we do. Everyone was a teenager once. I have just as many things I could say about older people making younger ones feel ostracized for no reason :/
it’s not that I think you dont have a right to your opinion, but its a personal rant, and seems much better suited to a personal blog rather than one that’s supposed to be sex positive, especially since there are teenage- 18 and 19- year old members here.
I’m not even going to say you’re wrong- but I think the way this was written bothers me a little. My parents are annoyed with me and want me gone? I just think this is better suited to a personal blog. I’m sorry.
There are a million things I could say as per my personal experience with this issue but I am sure it wouldn’t make any difference whatsoever.
I do think, however, that you should consider that most parents today honestly don’t give a fuck, and besides chores, they do not have much to do with their kids lives. That is my personal experience in my area. It is not uncommon for a kid to have to get their own dinner these days cause mommy is out clubbing and she’s so damn young she gets mistaken for the kids best friend rather than mom. The traditional way of raising kids where you actually give a shit is being phased out, and most of my friends have been habitually abused by their parents on top of that.
Maybe its different elsewhere, or maybe it appears different when you’re no longer in the middle of it.
.-= Darling Dove´s last blog ..Pleasurists #74 =-.
CarrieAnn
We allow opinion pieces on EC, always have. You know that. You’ve written some.
An opinion piece about teenagers has nothing to do with sex positivity. It has nothing to do with sex. I really wish people would stop throwing that word around and using it incorrectly.
Reuben
You’ll never get me to scwith I paid $369 for windows $299 for office $75 every 6 months for virus scan. How could something that is FREE be as good as that and besides my NEW windows 7 has almost all those graphics that you people have. And everyone knows Mac is based on BSD which is free so it must be just as bad.
zakodracvl
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Kayla
I would like to say that, in response to Darling Dove’s comment, I’m 19, and not offended in the slightest. In fact, I completely agree. My sister acts very entitled and it’s driving my parents insane.
It’s just a different point in their lives. When I was younger, I had a hard time understanding why I had to do chores. I didn’t see it as receiving a free house and home and chores basically being my own “job”; I saw it as just as “my house, where I live”. Now I understand how much owning my own house costs, and I can see why it was so nice to live at my parent’s – even with the chores. I also can see that there are a tons more chores that have to be done than my parents were making me do.
Something else I didn’t realize when I was younger is just how much my parents had to give up to raise me. When you become a parent, it isn’t just about you and your partner anymore – it’s about the children. I never realized that until I got older.
So honestly, I don’t know if there is much you can do about the teenagers bitching about doing chores until they get older and get more mature. Unfortunately. I just want to kick my sister in the head sometimes because of her lack of respect towards my parents.
.-= Kayla´s last blog ..Pyrex Glass Dildo Sparkle 7 1/2″ Cock =-.
Vieux
While I’m totally for EC being open for any topic, I don’t think that this is positive in any way, shape, or form. I read your personal blog and I feel that this is better suited for that.
If you want to rant, that’s fine, but offer a positive solution or something for the issue you have written about instead of making it solely a tirade.
Just my .02
Sarahbear
You guys (Darling Dove and Vieux) do realize that Eden Cafe is basically just one, big collaborative blog, right? Everything on here is written from the perspective of the writers, in a personal manner. There are plenty of rants and opinions on here. I’m not really sure why mine is the only one that doesn’t deserve to be here… aside from the fact that it struck a cord with a few folks because the truth hurts.
.-= Sarahbear´s last blog ..Sunday: Weekly Wrap-It-Up =-.
Sir
I’d like to know how there’s any “truth” behind this opinion post of yours. An opinion is just that – an opinion. And it’s rude to say “truth hurts,” when it’s obvious that your opinion is not based upon any truth.
Not every child is a brat. And quite honestly, if you find children to be that way, don’t have them. It’s not anyone’s fault that you are so ageist and really dislike children so much – if you felt that way, you should not have had them.
There are many of us in this world that cannot have children. Many people who are not able to. And to complain is honestly really offensive, not just to the adolescents themselves, but to the people that are not able to birth children.
Your last paragraph to your post, I found to be hurtful and upsetting. If you feel this way about teenagers, then do kick them out of your home. Or simply do things the easy way – don’t have them, and do not complain about having them.
Thank you,
Sir
.-= Sir´s last blog ..Battle of the Bulge =-.
Sarahbear
What do you mean it’s not based on any truth? I never said all children are brats or that all teenagers behave this way. I never said that I dislike children. I am not ageist. You are putting words into my mouth that I never said.
I said I am annoyed by bratty, entitled behavior. Behavior I have seen exhibited on my twitter stream, in real life situations, and that I have actually participated in as a teenager. Behavior that I regretted and apologized about as soon as I moved out and had to pay my own bills and take care of my own children.
It’s not my fault that people can’t have children and I don’t see how it’s offensive to complain about how some children behave.
The last paragraph in my post was mean to be taken tongue-in-cheek. The humor is apparently lost on those who have been (un)fortunate enough not to have children of their own. A lot of the parents I’ve talked to chuckled at it, because they know what I’m talking about.
Parenting is not always some walk in the park with rainbows and flowers and butterflies. There are some truly annoying, frustrating, heartbreaking things that come along with raising children. There are times when parents just need to rant, to let off some steam, to commiserate with (what I thought was) a community full of adults. I really don’t understand why every-fucking-thing on the internet has to be black or white. Either I despise children or I think they are perfect little angels? Come the fuck on.
I have four kids. I adore my children. There are times that they drive me up the wall, though, and I don’t think it’s fair (to me, them or anyone who hasn’t had children yet) to pretend everything is always peachy. So if you’ll kindly stop reading between the lines, because I certainly have no problem with saying what I mean, I’d appreciate it.
.-= Sarahbear´s last blog ..Sunday: Weekly Wrap-It-Up =-.
MO
“Let me tell you something, oh wise teenagers. If anyone is a slave to the chores of the house, it’s your mother and father. From the time you are born until you move out, and usually well beyond that point in time, we’re busting our asses to provide for you. We hold down jobs that aren’t always fulfilling to make sure you’ve got what you need. A house to live in, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, school supplies, and clothes. We work overtime during the holidays so that you can have the newest game console and a college savings account. Our free time is spent cooking you food, washing your clothes, chauffeuring you around to various extracurricular activities and sleepovers. We’ve also got to squeeze in enough time to shower ourselves, pay the bills and go grocery shopping. We want to be able to do stuff that we want to do too!”
I humbly suggest you read “The Road Less Traveled” by Scott Peck.
Who can expect children to understand all that their parents do for them? What good does it do to lay blame for a crappy job at your child’s feet? How is the child responsible for the amount of effort you put into his/her care? Is this not a decision you made as an adult, to have children and to be responsible for their food/shelter/other perfectly legitimate time and money costs that should not be bitched about to the child?
“we’re busting our asses to provide for you”, you say. Well good for you. I hope you’re not expecting a reward for your efforts, because there isn’t one…unless you count your child’s love and respect for you when they get older. And guilting your kid into doing what you want by blaming them for your overworkedness does nothing but continue a cycle of resentment and misplaced blame from generation to generation.
The child can’t control how hard you have to work, or how tired you are at the end of the day. Of course you don’t want to do chores at the end of a long workday, and of course you want your child to respect you and maturely take care of household duties out of love for you, without being told. But like Kayla says, kids don’t GET that, because they don’t know what it is to be a parent, and at that age I think it’s fair to say most kids view responsibility as a type of punishment, something to be avoided. In my opinion, the parent should strive to teach the child that responsibility is a sign of TRUST and RESPECT.
For example, if my parents had told me to cook dinner twice a week because they TRUSTED me to prepare food for the family, and because they would be PROUD of me for successfully completing the task, I probably would have been at least somewhat eager to perform this service. Instead I was told to have dinner ready by a certain time, was PUNISHED or CRITICIZED if the food was late/cold/otherwise imperfect, was never given constructive advice or suggestions, and was never told WHY I was being made to do this chore other than “because I said so”. My parents thought that they were asking something perfectly reasonable of me. But to my inexperienced young mind, there was no reason, no love, and no lesson in it. And as a result, the responsibility of cooking became awful, something I dreaded every week, and something I avoided even though I knew it would incur parental wrath. It became a true chore rather than a learning experience. Of course now I understand the reason for the chore, but at the time I had no clue.
I think that if kids are taught that responsibility is a sign of respect and trust (and love!), they’ll be less likely to grow up viewing parenthood as a neverending chore, but rather as a responsibility of the highest value.
You’re right, it’s annoying to listen to teens complain about chores. It’s also annoying to hear a full-grown adult bitch about teens bitching about chores. And it sets a terrible example for future generations.
My advice is, let them complain, don’t let it bother you. Understand WHY they’re complaining. Many are not fortunate to have a parent like you, who actually does work hard to care for their child. And many have parents who do not communicate the ‘fairness’ of everyone participating in chores, or the lessons behind the chore.
Once again, to anyone who reads Sarahbear’s post, I highly recommend reading “The Road Less Traveled” by Scott Peck. It’s all about discipline for children and adults alike.
WildatH3art
I couldn’t have said it better. Kayla. I have been sitting here trying ot put it my own words but you and Sarahbear have summed it up.
I am not a parent, but I understand responsibility. Darling Dove, I am 18 years old, and I remember eight months ago when I felt the same way you do. Except instead of living with my parents, I was residing with my sister and her hubby who have four small, but growing children, and a new house they were paying for. I felt like watching the children while my sister worked to pay for my things wasn’t enough. Like getting a free place to live, food to eat, and unlimited wireless internet access was little compensation compared to all I did around the house and for the kids. Being the brat I was, I left my sister’s house one day while she was at work. I planned it out, and had everything prepared to go stay with a friend of mine until I could get a job and support myself. It wasn’t easy, and I learned the importance of a dollar really fast. I cried and prayed every night to have things as easy as I had them before I left the nest. It was harder than anything I had ever been through before in my life, but had I not done it I would still be that spoiled little brat I was last summer when I thought I deserved to go out every weekend on my sister’s expense.
To end this post, I’m sorry you feel as if everyone hates you and is attacking you for the way you feel, but you have to look at the other side of things. One day you will see that there are more important things to stress about than tidying up a bit so that your mother has one less thing to do when she gets home.
Vieux
Your opinion may be a truth to YOU but not to others who read this post. If you would have reworded this and made a much nicer approach to it instead of just COMPLAINING about things, maybe it would have come across differently. How can you make a statement about how teenagers are when you don’t even HAVE a teenager yet?
I’ll have you know that I am 21 years old and I still live at home. I work a part time job and I go to school full time. According to you, this leaves me as “taking for granted what my parents do for me.” First off, I live with my grandma and I take care of her when I’m not busy working or in school. Secondly, what makes you a special snowflake? All of us have different living situations and such. It’s not your place to make blanket statements about other people that you do not know.
And, you say your 8 year old complains about chores. Last time I checked, 8 is oh, 5 years from teenager status. I know at 8 years old I didn’t understand the importance of chores. I was actually caught in the middle of a nasty divorce and was roaming with my mother from place to place trying to find stability. Be lucky that’s all your son has to complain about. And I agree with WildatH3art. If you explain importance rather than bitch about it, your child may possibly understand why you get upset.
Just a thought, but what do I know? You seemed to like to rip me a new one because I don’t agree with your opinion. You’re entitled to yours and me to mine. Take criticism in stride and don’t complain about that too.
Sarahbear
My sister is still a teenager. She’s been living with me for 3 years now. WildatH3art is my sister. My brother lived with me when he was still a teenager and when he was an adult behaving like one. I know what it’s like to deal with a bratty teenager who doesn’t appreciate what they’ve got.
I never said anything about you, personally. I did not say VC is a bratty adult living at home. I didn’t say ALL teenagers and adults living at home behave this way. I was addressing teenagers and adults who live at home who DO behave that way. YOU read into what I said and took it personally. Talk about a special snowflake, huh?
Phallicity
For some people, we must use [humor] and [/humor]. Shame, really. Either you guys are entirely too touchy or just aren’t able to appreciate this for what it is due to where you are at in your lives. You’re all entitled to your opinion, however, I think you completely took this one out of context.
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