So I curl up on the couch on Tuesday and open up the news searching for some juicy sex-related gossip. Google News, Reader, a couple sex sites and various tabloids are open in ten or twenty tabs in Chrome. It looks like a flurry of sex news chaos but lost among the mix are the maybes. This is my morning routine Tuesday through Friday. I am, in a word, spoiled.

This Tuesday, though, I began closing tabs early. I’m laughing so hard at one story it’s pathetic, really. And the other… The other just blows me away every time I encounter a situation like it.

The latter is your story, Mr. T.I.

“Man, I will say this,” you told Vibe. “The funniest joke I ever heard [Tracy Morgan] say during a stand-up was, ‘C’mon man, I think gay people are too sensitive. If you can take a dick, you can take a joke.’ That shit was funny to me. And it’s kind of true. [The gays] are like,‘If you have an opinion against us, we’re gonna shut you down.’ That’s not American. If you’re gay you should have the right to be gay in peace, and if you’re against it you should have the right to be against it in peace.”

Here’s the thing. I get your point. I even agree with part of what you said. You and Tracy Morgan, just like me, are free to think and say whatever you want about whatever you want. Even though the rest of the joke you mentioned is about how Tracy Morgan would stab his son to death if he acted feminine, nobody ever said he wasn’t entitled to his opinion.

They just said his opinion is fucked up.

Honestly, on a personal level, Tracy Morgan’s opinion on homosexuality and a falsetto son ain’t shit to me. That’s between him, his family and his conscience. By the gods, if it’ll make him happy, he can go right ahead and spew all the hate speech (cause really, what would you call threatening to murder someone? But don’t get it twisted. My problem’s with the murdering bit, not the opinion itself.) he’d like. And I’ll stand with you, right here behind him, protecting his right to say whatever he wants.

I don’t even know Tracy Morgan. He’s a comedian from Brooklyn who finds jokes about stabbing one’s son to death funny. I’ve seen a couple movies he’s in. The humor in them is similar, but usually a bit more tasteful. And that about sums up my knowledge base of him.

If I were an asshole, I’d attribute all sorts of fucked up stereotypes to him. But I’m not (that kind of asshole) so I won’t. Instead, I’ll judge him by the single stand-up I’ve ever had the (dis)pleasure of watching him do, and tell you flat out what I think.

Fella, I think Tracy Morgan’s an asshole. And that’s my right.

First of all, “If you can take a dick you can take a joke.”? Really? What does that even mean? Should all us gay and bisexual men and hetero and bisexual women tread lightly around you heterosexual men cause y’all can’t take a joke? Or are we still pretending we’re talking about free speech here?

You’re right, T.I. Everyone has the right to their own opinion regardless of what I think about it. But while we’re touting Tracy Morgan’s right to an opinion, how about you stand up for mine? I’ll leave you alone if you leave me alone? I’m cool with that.

But I still think he’s an asshole. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Signed,
What’s Good for the Goose is Only Good for the Gander if He’s Straight