By Gazonga Gal

Normally, I try to keep my posts from veering into darker territory. After all, boobs, by their very nature, bring a smile to the lips and a twinkle to the eye. However, as October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I feel I would be derelict in my duties as spokeswoman for the Armies of the Amply Endowed not to bring this discussion to the table.

If you are lucky like me (knock wood), no member of your immediate family has ever had to deal with this illness from a first-person perspective. While heredity is a factor, there are so many variables that play a role in who gets breast cancer and who doesn’t, that you may think no matter what you do, if your number is up, your number is up. There’s no arguing with that. Do we have control of the universe? No.

But we do have control of how we behave while we’re in it: If you’re driving, you wear a seatbelt. If you’re on a plane, you locate the safety exits. If you’re having sex with a new partner, you get tested. If you have breasts, you perform regular self-exams, and if you’re a woman of a certain age, you get your routine scheduled clinical exams and mammograms.

Will this ensure that you don’t get breast cancer? No, but it will greatly up your chances for early detection and enhance your odds for increased survival.

So, to all you women—big breasted, of medium melonage, or pertly proportioned—I say, go feel up your boobs! You can have a partner do it for you, but if it’s going to lead to other tempting distractions, you might be better off taking matters into your own hands.

Not sure how? Go here.

And by the way, men can get breast cancer, too. About 2 percent of all reported cases occur in male patients, and often, because they aren’t aware that they are susceptible to the disease, by the time many men realize what they’ve got, the cancer is already well advanced.

So, for the love of all that’s boob-iful, if you find something out of whack in your Grand Tetons, don’t piddle around like a scared puppy. No sticking your head in the sand, either! Get thee to a doctor for a proper diagnosis! The tits—and the life—you save, may be your own.

Cool links:

http://www.feelyourboobies.com/

http://www.zazzle.com/breast+cancer+gifts?cg=103113243848843719