When I started reviewing in August, I had a larger than average, but still very modest collection. My boyfriend at the time, J, encouraged me to pursue reviewing when I discussed it with him. When I asked if he wanted me to get something for him to try, he’d always tell me he didn’t “need anything.” This, in its own way, was hurtful, since he was implying that I did need my toys to get off. J would tell me he supported my growing collection, but in hindsight, I don’t think he fully supported it. And then a few weeks after I started getting items to review, he broke up with me. Which was so nice of him to do, especially when I had requested items he suggested we could use together.
Then I was single, with more sex toys than most girls my age have. Back to online dating. One site I am on has lots of sex related questions you can answer, which can give me a good idea if someone would be accepting of my hobby. But for the sites that don’t, I try to chat casually, and if we get along, eventually hint at sex. From there I can judge how they will react to my blog. The few guys I’ve dated casually, and told about my blog, were very accepting; perhaps I got lucky, or am just good at judging people.
Eventually I found D, and he fully accepted my toy collection and blog. I’d tell him about the products I was getting, and he’d even help me test out many of them. I even got him a few things to try and test out. He was even interested in becoming a reviewer. It was a lot of fun to explore things with him, since he was very inexperienced. But not everything is meant to last.
For those of you that follow me, you probably know I am recently single again. I’m not upset or heartbroken, I mean we did only date for about two months, but I am a bit disappointed. The guy I was seeing, let’s call him D, fully accepted my toy collection and my blog. I met D on an online dating site. We hung out once before he went home for a weekend, and chatted a lot online. Somehow we got onto the topic of sex. When I talk about sex with a new partner, I try to gauge their interest, and maybe bring up the topic of toys and ask for their opinion. D came off as young, and willing to try almost anything. After we hooked up the first time, I showed him my blog and he thought it was awesome.
But in two months alone, my collection has grown quite substantially from what I had when I met D. As it grows, I worry a little bit more about how to bring up the topic. Reviewing is a hobby I really enjoy, and it’s very important that my partner be accepting of it. Plus, it’s getting much harder to hide and keep discreet. I live with roommates, but I have my room to myself, so I usually leave a few things lying out. I have a huge trash bag of toy boxes I need to recycle, but can’t just toss it in the community trash can. But that’s not a hard fix. I can leave some discreet items out like massage candles, the beautiful Lelo bottles, and even my condom cube. And I do have a three drawer plastic dresser to store everything in. But what on earth was I thinking when I got a bright orange one? I did line the drawers so it’s not see-through, but the bright orange still stands out. I have a bit of paranoia that if I don’t tell someone, and they are in my room, they’ll see this big orange thing and either ask me about it or take a peek.
Thankfully, I haven’t come across anyone who has freaked out, or stopped talking to me, after mentioning my hobby. I worry that it will happen sooner or later, though. Perhaps the type of people I am attracted to are just more open-minded in general. But the only thing you can really do, if someone is freaked out or unaccepting, is just to move on and find someone better. I know eventually I’ll find someone who appreciates my Liberator Throe, and is dying to try my We-Vibe.