Club Syndrome

Posted by SundaecloseAuthor: Sundae Name:
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About: Law student moonlighting as a photographer to pay for her toy collection and addiction to really awesome food (like tapas and cheesecake). I'm keen to experience and explore a whole range of things while I'm lucky enough to do so and get a chance to write about them. I've tried my hand at a number things that have scared the crap out of me and made me laugh and cry and wonder why I was stupid enough to do them in the first place, but I figure I need something to tell my grandkids or my family of cats...'See Authors Posts (5)

So, over the weekend I was out on the town. I had a few drinks, chatted with some people, danced a bit and generally had myself a good time. I also managed to score myself more sleazy touches and looks than I can count on my fingers. The boob grope as someone pushed past me in line for the bar, a hand trailing across my ass as someone oozed past on the dancefloor, a number of lewd, lingering looks from men twice my age that way surpassed the casual once over. The worst was a wandering hand from a man a good thirty years older than me – it managed to creep up under my skirt for a full blooded ass-cheek cupping grope as I walked past. The saddest part? I’ve come to accept this treatment as par for the course.

Part of the problem is that the touches are fleeting, the alcohol is flowing, it’s dark, crowded and noisy and by the time you’ve registered most of the unwanted attention the culprit is gone. If you do manage to single out the offender you’ll probably also get a lewd grin and a wink for your troubles. ‘You f-ing jerk!’ hissed through gritted teeth or a slap away of the wandering hand doesn’t have quite the same effect as the swift kick to the groin that you might feel like delivering, but what other options do you have? Mostly, I just choose to ignore the incident and save myself the time and trouble.

Some would argue this sort of treatment is flattery and that I’m just getting on my high horse about something that’s been around forever. I understand going clubbing is a bit of a meat market, often you’re there to be noticed and on the prowl for someone yourself, but there is casual appreciation (which is generally welcomed) and there is over-stepping the mark. Yet, the stuff that crosses the line is supposedly still ‘flattery’ because you’ve put yourself out there, dressed in a certain way, decided to imbibe in alcohol or in fact just decided to be at a club for whatever reason. In other words, you were ‘asking for it’. You know what you’re in for and hey they’re red-blooded men, they can’t help it if you’re just there and they just wanted to touch. Never mind that you didn’t give them permission to!

This isn’t to say all men are guilty of this, nor does it happen at all places, but there isn’t really any direct comparison I can make for women’s behaviour towards men. It’s not like a few shots of vodka and some dimmed lights mean that I decide to slip my hand down the pants of the next cute guy that walks past me or try and give his package a bit of a feel to let him know that he’s sexy – no not even if he’s wearing tight jeans that show it off! What gives these strangers the right to grab at my body just because I’m in a certain place? I like to call it the ‘club syndrome’ because of this. I resent that my choice to go out and have a good time inevitably comes with a few guys who decide to get their jollies from touching women inappropriately in situations where they have little choice but to accept such behaviour.

It’s not ok because you’re horny, you’re a man, you’re drunk or you think someone is attractive. For the most part, we can all control ourselves and our behaviours, so being in a club situation no excuse for such actions, especially ones that would be considered so inappropriate elsewhere. Sadly, next time I go out to town, all I can guarantee is that I will behave in a way that’s respectful to my own self-worth and to everyone else, even if I can’t expect to have that respect reciprocated by anyone else.