A recent survey found that marriage rates in the United States had dropped precipitously. Only 51% of Americans were married, and marriage rates are dropping similarly in other developed nations. Given how most of the benefits of marriage are conferred by the government, come from being in a happy relationship, or aren’t even real, the government should sanction cohabitations and marriages.

The government has, intentionally or not, created a litany of benefits that only affect the married. Consider gay couples, whose marriages are not recognized by the federal government. They pay on average, an extra $6,000 per year in taxes because they have to file separately. Married couples who file as a married couple qualify for these tax loopholes and save thousands, demonstrating one of the governmental advantages of marriage.

There is also, with some policy makers, an even greater desire to provide more incentives to traditionally married couples. Virginia Governor Robert McDonnell advocated in his Master’s thesis that the government should focus its resources into the family, specifically married couples with kids. This included government policy favoring the married over “co-habitators,” tax policies favoring married couples, advocating of covenant marriages (a type of marriage difficult to enter and near impossible to exit) and other penalties for divorce.

There was also the Healthy Marriages Initiative, passed in 2006, aimed at encouraging and improving marriages. This bill moved $150 million per year to the states to invest in local education on the benefits and workings of marriage, public ads on the benefits of marriage, relationship skills classes to reduce divorce, and a reduction of marriage penalties in aid programs. This shows that government has shown an interest in preserving, promoting, and even subsidizing marriage.

All of this effort to promote marriage, yet is it justifiable? The very fact that the government is trying to subsidize something suggests it is not. Subsidization of goods and services usually only occurs when the government deems that people should be engaging in an activity but aren’t. As the most basic costs of marriage, the paperwork and certificates, are affordable; subsidization isn’t needed to help the poor. So why is the government subsidizing something people don’t want?

There are arguments that marriage contains a litany of health benefits. Some studies have suggested that married people are less likely to have heart attacks, get cancer, require surgery, slip into dementia, and other health benefits. The problem is that it isn’t as simple as that. These are not benefits of the actual act of marriage, but rather of happy cohabitation and socio-economics. The relationship itself is what’s actually important, as the stress of a bad marriage, according to a Feb. 2010 New York Times article, is as damaging to one’s health as smoking. Being married or cohabitating together is just as happy, as long as both relationships are equally healthy.

Furthermore, married people, on average, tend to be wealthier and sometimes healthier than the unmarried. It isn’t that marriage is making people healthier, but that those who are less likely to be unhealthy are also more likely to get married, resulting in a correlation, but not causation. The government benefits of marriage don’t hurt either.

As mentioned, the government throws millions into marriage, from tax breaks to shared health insurance, hospital visitation rights and more. This however doesn’t prove that marriage is a healthy institution, but that the government benefits really can improve people’s lives. If the government gave the same benefits per capita to any other group, from puppeteers to cat lovers, given enough time, these groups would eventually become healthier than the public as a whole.

Yet none of these are actually benefits of marriage itself, but rather byproducts of government benefits. The actual benefits of marriage itself, it would seem, are slight, if any. If all of these incentives and benefits are needed to justify marriage, it begs the question of why bother?

One reason is for the stability of the family. But if that’s the case then these and other policies still don’t make much sense. It was only with the affordable care act that the government improved access to condoms and the pill for the poor and lower middle-class. In fact, up until that law was passed, many insurance companies wouldn’t cover the pill, while it did cover Viagra.

One way to establish stable families is to prevent them from beginning on the wrong foot. Contraceptives, when used properly, allow people to avoid having children until they’re at the right stage in their lives, with a sizable savings and career to allow for time and money necessary to raise children. Yet, these policies are rarely, if ever, advocated to help families; instead it is policies like the healthy marriage initiative which just incentivize marriage and relationships.

There is of course the benefit in keeping both parents together, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they must be married. If two people remained together, while receiving the same benefits as married couples, there would likely be little if any difference, because as shown, few of marriage’s benefits are from the actual institutions. Despite this, most of these policies and initiatives are focused on married couples.

If the government and family activists are truly concerned with the well being of families, they should focus less on the actual institution and more on family planning and keeping people together. Being married is far less valuable than staying together and the benefits conferred through governmental institutions. If anything, they should focus on keeping people together, rather than getting people married and hoping marriage will keep them together, as the 50% divorce rate suggests it won’t.

The big Christmas gift, if disgruntled teens on Twitter are any indication, was the iPad. It’s not just the iPad either, as Amazon has their e-reader, the Amazon Kindle, as their hottest gift of the season. Despite a surge in popularity, I have resisted the allure of the e-reader and tablet computer due to price issues in the usefulness of the tablets and the costs of the e-book market.

To begin, there’s the portability of the tablet, which, unlike the smartphones, are not designed to be portable. It is far too large and heavy to be carried around the way smartphones are, and given their cost and size, the fear of breaking it at a coffee shop, or while walking could be maddening.

Unlike laptops, most tablets lack a keyboard, instead offering a litany of alternatives depending on the model. Most have touch screens which are about as swift as using a self-checkout. Without the straightforward keyboard of a laptop, or the versatility that comes from the compactness of a smart phone, the tablet is left lacking.

Granted there are accessories that fix some of these issues, most notably the attachable keyboards, but that sort of shows the problem. Given how tablets are similar in size to a laptop and the higher end models, the iPad especially, cost the same yet have less computing power, why bother? It would make more sense to buy a low-end laptop, or a netbook, rather than a tablet.

Netbooks are basically mini laptops that only have basic processes like internet and PowerPoint. They are about the same price as a tablet or E-reader, have far more computing power, 1GB memory and 250 GB hard drive, yet have actual keyboards. What’s the point of having a tablet when there are so many superior options?

Unless of course it’s really the e-books purchasers want. The e-book market isn’t the killer app of any of the tablets, except for the Kindle, the product of book seller Amazon.com, but it’s a nascent market. As with any burgeoning market, there are numerous issues that have left me wary of the entire concept.

To begin with, there’s the price difference between e-books and regular books. Consider the prices of a recent popular book, Stephen King’s 11-22-63, which is selling on Amazon in both e-book and hardcover form. The e-book is $14.99, whereas the hardcover is $17.50, a grand savings of $2.51 in exchange for giving up actual ownership of the book.

In exchange for the slightly lower price, the product loses all of the advantage of being an actual physical object. The most basic sacrifice is the durability of having a physical book that can survive a run-in with water, can be written in, used as props and bug killers. Gone too is the textile feel of the paper and page.

More important however, e-books abandon the concept of ownership. It varies by model, but a downloaded book is put into the tablet and e-account so that it can be accessed if anything happens to the tablet. These e-books, however, are subject to company policies regarding downloads.

Consider the iTunes model, which allows songs to be accessed from a total of five different computers before they cannot be accessed unless a computer is de-authorized. This may not seem very consequential, but that’s not the point. The point is, this is not owning a product, it is leasing-plus. The user may have the product, but the company still exerts considerable influence on its use.

Further, it is not even a real product, but rather a digital copy, that cannot be sold or bought or used like their brick and mortar predecessors. By going digital, e-book owners have abandoned the option of reselling their products once finished. Essentially this ensures that only the publishers and main distributors can ever profit off of digital copies; smaller and independent distributors need not apply.

The advent of digital copy may also have a grave impact on the prices of e-books, or any digital product. Again, consider iTunes and how their price system works. Nearly every song is priced the same, from Kelly Clarkson, to The Beatles, to Jesus Jones is $1.29 (as of 12/30/11). There are exceptions, of course, albums have different costs, and there are some less popular songs that are cheaper, but most songs are priced the same.

The reason why everything is priced so similarly is because digital copy removes two crucial forces of retail: rotating product and sales. Barnes and Noble must remove old books to create space for the new. If product isn’t moving it makes more sense to reduce its price, as much as 75%, before returning it to the publisher. The Brick and Mortar model considers profit to be the best, but any revenue is better than no revenue.

For the online store, as long as their computer servers have room to store a digital product, they can. If a product doesn’t sell, merely remove it from the front page, but ensure that it can be found through searching. Imagine e-books, movies, and downloadable TV shows, video games like wiiware, which never decrease in price, regardless of their popularity or age. With unlimited space for unlimited products, there’s less reason to lower prices. If it’s not taking up space, why offer it for less?

Of course there are advantages to the tablets. Being able to reduce thousands of books to a single device will certainly save shelf space, and Stephen King books are easier to carry in digital format. Further, as mentioned, the e-books are cheaper and many books within the public domain are free.

Despite these and other advantages, tablets and e-readers are not for me. A tablet doesn’t offer anything a smartphone, laptop, or netbook can’t. Yet it is harder to use. Even if I wanted an e-book, the digital download market, while useful, has a litany of economic and ownership concerns that leaves me wary.

She had hardly slept the night before. Knowing that this was the day she had waited for as long as she could remember was too much for her brain to handle. What seemed like a lifetime of yearning was culminating in the moment she had feared would never happen.

Something deep inside her was ready to be borne; the cocoon was about to release its butterfly; the flower that had been under-nourished for so long had finally been properly fertilized and was ready to bloom.

She was moving in with Daddy today.

She couldn’t remember much from her life before Him. What was clear was that everything before had been a constant sense of waiting. Yearning. Feeling incomplete.

Friends and family didn’t understand. After all, everyone had relationships. Everyone dated. She couldn’t explain to anyone just how different it felt to be in Daddy’s arms. How His touch made her feel instantly safe. And how everything about Him aroused her in such a way that she felt she could orgasm just from being near Him. Daddy was her world. And He was about to be her home.

So it was, with her heart beating fast, that she opened her eyes on the best day of her life. She walked quickly to the bathroom, looked into the mirror, and smiled a smile of contentment, excitement and relief. She looked back at herself from the glass, seeing the woman she had always wanted to be. But there was something more in her reflection. Daddy’s Perfect Little Girl.

Everything He had made her. All the love and devotion she felt for Him swept over her at once, and she realized a single happy tear was running down her cheek. Realizing that she had never felt so whole in her life brought more tears to her eyes.

She leaned back against the wall of the bathroom and cried. Cried for all the times she had felt alone in the world. All the failed relationships that had ultimately left her empty. The silly boys who didn’t have a clue what it meant to please a woman. The abusive, egotistical wanna-be Doms who made her feel ashamed and aberrant.

It was difficult to think of that last thing. She had been broken down so many times, left crushed after giving herself to someone who either didn’t know what to do with her heart or just didn’t care. How easily giving herself freely had turned to an assault on her mind as well as her body. She brushed these memories away and turned to the time Daddy had first taken her…

********

Her trust had been at an all-time low. She had told herself that she wasn’t ready to give herself over to another man who could possess her heart and soul. But there was a power about Him that dissolved all of that fear when He looked into her eyes. She had tried to fight it, but it was no use. The moment he placed his hands on her arms, goosebumps erupted all over her skin. Her breath caught in her throat, and that switch in her brain was flipped before she could do anything about it. His lips met hers, and sparks flew throughout her body. He lifted her up and carried her to the bed, and she felt her soul go limp with her body. It was inescapable. Inevitable. Glorious.

He had gently laid her down and began to run His hands all over her. His touch was gentle yet firm. Her body was coming alive, even though the fabric of her clothes should have been a buffer between His strong hands and her delicate skin. One of His hands slid down her belly and between her legs. Up under her dress and against the soft cotton of her panties. As He cupped her tiny, tight little pussy above her underwear, her sex seemed to burst forth in an embarrassing wetness. She let out an audible moan as her hips writhed uncontrollably at His touch. She seemed to not have control over her movements or her voice. Her breathing was heavy, her thoughts were muddled. Subspace was washing over her, even though He had done nothing specific to Dominate her. Who was this man? Where did this power come from?

Before she could think of an answer, His finger penetrated her. Fireworks exploded in her field of vision. Her body bucked against His hand as He began to fuck her slowly. A second finger slipped inside her drenched, waiting cunt and joined the first as He tapped against her g-spot. His rhythm took her over, and her body raced to the fastest orgasm she had ever had. She came with a loud “Oh my God!” that didn’t seem to be in her own voice. Her hips and legs shook with the eruption of her orgasm, so much that she didn’t even realize He was leaning down to whisper in her ear: “You are Mine. Everything you are belongs to Me.”

Her body was still rocking with the aftershocks as His words echoed in her mind, over and over. And He was right. She was completely His, whether she wanted to be or not. The thing was…nothing would make her happier.

********

She shook herself out of her reverie and smiled again at her reflection. She sat down to pee, again thinking about how excited she was to move in with her Daddy. Imagining His touch, His voice, how He commanded her without anger or belittling. Before she knew it, she was slowly stroking her clit, still sitting on the toilet. Her face flushed as she realized what a dirty little girl she was being. Would Daddy approve? Or would He tell her she should be saving her arousal for Him?

She couldn’t help herself, however. The rush was too intense, too wonderful to ignore. She slipped a finger inside herself, just as He had done on that first night. She felt the drops of urine on her fingers, and it only excited her more. She added a second finger and began to fuck her pussy harder and faster. The wet sloop sound of her hand working her fuckhole made her break out in a sweat. She leaned back against the tank and surrendered to the ecstasy of the moment, her ankles stretching her lacy thong to its limit as she spread her legs and pounded herself furiously. She was being a filthy little cumslut, and she loved it. Daddy would not be happy to know she was pleasuring herself before joining Him today. But she also reveled in being a bad little Princess. Principessa, as He liked to call her.

Her dirty little girl orgasm came hard, her hips thrusting against her hand once…twice…and a third time. Although she was obviously alone, she felt like she had eyes on her. As if her mind was being watched by Him. She smiled as she slipped her middle finger in her mouth, tasting her sweet pussy mixed with just a hint of her own urine.

She undressed and got into the shower. Soaping herself up slowly and absentmindedly, her mind turned to the night that Daddy gave her His collar.

********

My name is Rose, and I am the other woman and have been for years now. Not only have I helped someone cheat, I have cheated on partners of my own to be with this person. I have warned guys upon entering a relationship with them that I will sleep with this person given the chance, but they seem to just shrug it off and not believe me, then act totally appalled when it happens. This just recently affected the relationship I was in. When I went to visit family, (the aforementioned person, who we will now refer to as John) John’s family, for Thanksgiving the shit hit the proverbial fan. I have been close to his family for years. They treat me like one of their own. Well when I arrived I got a surprise, John was there. A pleasant surprise, but a surprise none the less, He was up here alone, wife stayed behind to stay with her family. So, the inevitable happened.

Well after an awesome week together he had to head home to the wife, and I was supposed to head home to my fiance, but I ended up staying with his family. John and I are in pretty much constant contact, but it still sucks. I don’t have him here to cuddle with, to talk to in person, and to share my bed with. Also knowing that someone out there refers to me as a “Home Wrecker”. I am not proud of what we do, but I do love John, and I wouldn’t give up having him in my life for anything. He has been the one constant in my life for the last 10 years. He makes me feel sexy, special, and most importantly Loved. I feel loved.

I am sure there are tons of horror stories out there from other women who are “the other woman”. And while my situation does suck, it’s not that bad. I do hope that we can be a real couple again, but I won’t hold my breath. I’ll be happy that I have him at all. I miss him, all the time. I hate that we have this in our way of being ‘us’ but things are changing on that front. I suppose unlike a lot of relationships where there isn’t a chance that they are ever going to leave their wife, I have the advantage of knowing that he is in the process of doing just that. I guess the worst part about this is the wait, waiting for things to fall into place, waiting to see him again, waiting to not be the other woman any more. I have put a lot of time and energy into our relationship, and I am just ready for it to all work out.

I do have fear, and even a little guilt, but as in a life from one of my favorite songs from A Chorus Line: “Cant forget, wont regret what I did for love.” I do not regret my choices, and the only thing I wish I could have changed is how I have treated other partners because of this.

Having the Right Chemistry with the Vendor You’ll Be Around More Than Your Spouse On Your Special Day

The best friend you could ever have is your wedding photographer. No, really, I’m completely serious. Your wedding photographer records your day from start to finish, is crammed into small spaces with you, sees more behind the scenes bulge-tucking and repinning and hears every complaint you have about the flower vendor who has you in a rage on your wedding day.

Your photographer is not the person you want to be angry with.

After all, any scowling in the general direction of the photographer has the potential of being captured and becoming a part of your family history. And though there is no perfect photographer out there, regardless of who claims to be, every bride and every photographer is different, and therefore pairing together with a photographer you totally clash with can be a disaster just as it can be in dating.

Let’s put aside the technicalities and technologies that draw you in to your photographer. Forget that she has 12 years experience and gives you copyright, forget that he’s shooting with the biggest baddest camera in your area and has rubbed elbows with the guys who did the Kardashian wedding. None of that will matter if you can’t stand the person behind the lens.

Ask yourself whether you would be friends with this person if they were not your wedding photographer. As professional as they are in your business dealings, are they the type of person you can get along with on a totally unrelated to wedding photography level? Are you uncomfortable at all around your photographer, and when they crack a joke is it an uncomfortable smile or a genuinely happy and fun smile?

Take the time to read between the lines. A photographer who is nothing but business and has to ask you to smile every time is most likely going to produce flat staged photographs. Wedding photography is about your story. Is your story full of fake forced smiles? On the other hand, if their jokes are mildly offensive (not in a fun way) and you cringe when you think of what your mother might say, the level of professionalism is something to consider.

Perhaps the best photographer is a mixture of the starched business-all-the-way style and the wildly offensive show of silliness. Serious when it comes to signing paperwork and silly when it comes to getting those fresh genuine smiles out of you. So how do you find this person?

• Many photographers ask you out on a “coffee date” to plan your photography needs. This is a great opportunity to see what type of person they are without camera in hand. If your photographer books everything over the phone or internet, perhaps ask them if they would agree to a meet-and-greet.
• Engagement sessions are a fun way of taking your photographer out on a test drive. Perhaps if you’re not sure that this photographer will work well with you on your wedding day, schedule an e-shoot. The bonus is that you get photos that can be used on your Save The Dates and if you don’t end up liking the photographer, you’re not locked in to a contract for their services on your big day.
• Zodiac signs, if you’re into astrology, are something to look at. I personally cross check my brides for compatible zodiac signs to mine, and if I feel things aren’t going well or may not go well in the future, I will pass the job on to another photographer who might work out for them better. Remember that the Sagittarius photographer will be super creative and excited, but may wander away from finishing your final product (which is why I am thankful to be born on the Sagittarius/Capricorn cusp, so I stay creative yet focused enough to finish my job.)
• Consider whether the photographer is trying to be the boss of you, and whether that is a good thing. Remember that at the end of the day you’re the boss, but that the photographer has a job to do, and they (hopefully) know how to do it well. If you feel uncomfortable, this is a bad sign, but if your photographer is very reassuring they may just have a plan that will jump out later in the pictures and you’ll scream with joy.

A few tips you may want to consider for not bridezilla-ing your way into an unhappy photographer:

• Don’t micromanage the photographer’s work. There is a workflow, and there is a way things are done that have proven to be beneficial and produce the best results in their experience as a photographer. Let them handle it, and only step in if you feel that something is being truly mismanaged.
• Ask questions, but try to comprehend the answers and refer to your photographer’s website or the paperwork you signed. Every minute spent answering the phone to answer a question you went over at contract signing is another minute the photographer isn’t working on someone’s photos. This may mean very little to you, except that when the time comes to edit yours they still may be on that job.
• Realize that your photographer probably has other clients. You are most likely not the only paying job the photographer has at the moment, so stalking their Facebook and asking why another client’s pictures went up before yours isn’t going to get anything done any faster.

Most importantly, hire the professional that is right for YOU. Not your friend Jenny. Not who your mother would like. And not your cousin with a pretty good camera. Hire the one who you feel would be best for the task of recording your story into the family history books.

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…For Tantalizing Erections and Earth Stopping Orgasms

It was supposed to be a romantic weekend with my wife, one full of love, laughter, and sex. It turned out to be something completely different, completely unexpected, and led to one of the most erotic weekends of my life. But not with my wife.

It started with a massage. I lay there on my belly, enjoying the touch of my talented masseuse. Then she asked me roll over, and what I saw shocked me. This young woman was the image of a past lover, one I hadn’t seen since college over 20 years before. I could feel my cock growing, and was painfully aware of the erection that was clearly visible beneath the thin blanket covering my midsection. She smiled faintly and turned to the door, telling me to “take my time” getting ready to go.

I sat and breathed, thinking about the last time I had seen her. I sat and slowly masturbated, touching myself as I remembered her touching me years ago. When I was done, I felt as though I had just cheated on my wife, and I was sure that this would not be the last time.

When I wasn’t undressing my wife and banging her repeatedly while imagining this blond girl of my past, I was online looking for my past love. I found her on Facebook, and jacked off again and again as I looked through her pictures. I was obsessed, and the very thought of her brought another rock hard erection.

The next week, I hopped a plane across the country to her hometown and made my way to her office (there is no end to what you can do on the internet). The receptionist called her and she entered the lobby, long legs and patent leather heels, a pencil skirt . . . My God. She looked at me, and I watched realization cross her face. She held up a finger as though to say, “Just a minute,” and turned silently away. Moments later, she reappeared with her purse, and took my hand. We walked silently to the car.

Twenty minutes later we pulled up to a small brick house, and she led me upstairs to her bedroom. Suddenly, the urgency was just too much. I pulled her skirt off, heard the zipper break. Soon she stood before me in nothing but a lace bra. She dropped to her knees and put my cock in her mouth. My body seemed to burst into flames as I struggled to keep from coming. I stopped her, pulled her to her feet and kissed her roundly. Laying her down on the bed, it was my turn to give her the pleasure she had given me. I thrust my tongue deep inside her cunt, tasting the sweet wetness that was everywhere. She was ready for me.

After we had tortured ourselves for what seemed like hours, I sat up and pulled her on top of my hard and waiting cock. She slid warmly over it, moaning in pleasure as I filled her up. When at last I orgasmed, it wracked both our bodies; it was something my body hadn’t experienced in, well, over 20 years. We lay together, and it was then that I realized we had not yet spoken to each other. I started to speak when I realized that she was starting again.

I had been working for a 24 hour tech support service for some time and enjoyed it. I generally worked on a lot of college kids’ computers and it was an easy enough job for someone who enjoyed computer repair as much as me. I got a call one night that I was needed in the Eisenhower dorms, room forty-two, and the girl sounded very upset.

When I got to her room, it smelled of candy and incense. A young girl opened the door wearing boxer shorts and a tiny tank top. “My computer won’t go online at all; keeps shutting off, and I have a paper due first thing in the morning. This is so my luck!” She said sounding thoroughly ticked off by the situation.

I couldn’t help but notice her beautiful, shiny legs or how long her neck was. She was an exotic beauty with pale skin, amber freckles and tight red curls that were pulled out of her face with a small head band. “Don’t worry, I can fix it and you’ll be up and typing before you can imagine.”

She smiled at me looking immediately more relaxed. “Can I make you some coffee?” I watched her get some water and the coffee pot, and go in the kitchen while I started navigating the laptop at the table. Within a few moments, I realized what the trouble was. This sweet looking girl had more viruses on her computer from various porn sites than an old plumber-guy might have. I snickered to myself before saying, “This will be a quick fix, but we should talk about maintaining your computer so you don’t have these problems in the future.”

Then I explained to her that looking at porn might be fun for her, but her computer couldn’t take all the problems that pop up when visiting these sites unless she made use of the various free programs I could show her.

Her cheeks grew a rosy red but then she responded in an unexpected manner. She said, “You look too.” In a rushed manner that caught me off guard. But I couldn’t argue with her. I had her computer working like new within the hour, and suddenly we were sharing some of our favorite sites with each other. “Don’t you just love this site for girls with curves?” She asked, and together we picked out several women we found beautiful. Then she asked me something I hadn’t expected. “I generally perform solo for the camera but can make twice as much if I have a partner … Want to video tape us having sex?”

I answered by tracing a finger around her tiny navel that was peaking between shorts and tank top. She looked down at me and pulled her shirt off exposing the creamiest, perkiest set of tits I had ever seen, either on video or in real life. I cupped a supple breast in each hand and she sighed with pleasure. She reached behind me and clicked a couple of buttons and suddenly the two of us were up on her computer screen; our playful motions being sent out to people across the world.

She sat the laptop on the ground in front of a thick maroon rug and then motioned for me to stand on the rug. She moved with the camera in mind, posing and making sure shots of her high, firm ass made it to the screen, along with her kneeling in front of me to unzip my pants and letting them fall to the ground. She undressed me in a matter of moments and then dropped in front of me on all fours.

“If you don’t mind. This way we can both watch ourselves on the screen.”

I knelt behind her ass. The pink skin of her pussy stood out in comparison to the milky white complexion of her skin. It was outlined by soft, red curls that matched the hair on her head. I bit my lip as I entered her hot, wet cleft and watched the look of pleasure on her face in the screen of the computer.

She was tight and slippery around my cock as I pushed into her, and I tried hard not to cum immediately. This was the first time I’d ever seen myself on camera, and the intensity of watching us grind together, doggy style was too much. Within moments I could feel the pressure of my ejaculation building and knew I wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. She started rocking hard against me and pushing back to meet my every stroke, moaning with pleasure as she did so. In the screen I could see her breasts jiggle and her eyes close as she started to reach orgasm. She came, moaning and driving me into frenzy. I pulled out and shot a hot, sticky load all over the tattoo on her back.

She posted our video, and whenever I want to look at online porn I now have the option to see myself on the screen.

I had bought a gun a week or so after my neighbor had been robbed in her own home. I wanted to be able to protect myself, and since I also wanted to know how to properly shoot the gun I signed myself up for classes at the local range. The moment I walked in I noticed the man behind the counter.

Darren was tall with broad shoulders, a crooked smile and vibrant blue eyes. He was enthusiastic about our lesson and it showed in the way he could barely contain himself. “It’s not often we get ladies who want to learn how to shoot a gun,” he said as he led the way to the target range we would be using. He leaned behind me, wrapping his arms around me to show me how to properly hold the gun. I could smell a soft scent of man and body wash. I was surprised by how hot it was when combined with the cold steel in my hands.

He placed a finger over mine helping me to slowly pull the trigger. The jolt of the gun going off pressed me further into Darren’s body. I drew in my breath as I realized there was a rock hard cock between he and I. We drew away from each other a little hot and flustered. Darren looked at me, and I’m sure I was a sight with my breasts heaving in the new vest I’d chosen to wear. He stumbled through a couple of flustered starts and then finished, “It’s an empty range today, and you are…” He took a moment to breathe, “Smoking.”

“Really?” I asked and started unbuttoning the vest. My breasts sprang forward and Darren grabbed me and bent me over the bench, pealing my pants and panties down in one swift move. I inhaled quickly as he plunged a finger deep into my hot slit.

“You just came to the range to meet a man, didn’t you?” With his hands he spread my pussy and shoved his face deep between my thighs. He inhaled before starting to lick me. He licked inside my cunt, nibbled and sucked on my lips, and then surprised me by running a wet finger around my ass.

“Yes.” I said with a hint of begging in my voice. Strong hands grabbed my hips as a long, warm shaft delved deep into me. I leaned against him and the two of us started grinding back and forth. One of his hands slid forward and started rubbing my clit in tight, slow circles. The pressure and attention to my cunt made me grow sopping wet. I wanted to come so badly I started whimpering in a rhythm.

“What’s the matter?” Darren said, “You want to come?” I nodded and rocked hard against him as his hands started moving faster and harder. I writhed and ground harder against him when I heard a sharp intake of breath. He moaned loud while pinching me and pulling me hard to him. I felt him shutter and then hot liquid swelled inside of me. I have had many lessons with my gun but none were as fulfilling as with Darren.

On Wednesday nights, here in Des Moines, you can usually find me at Kirkwood Lounge where Lez Talk “airs.” What’s Lez Talk, you ask? Well, it’s a local comedy talk show that is, as they describe it: Letterman meets The View, meets Ellen. Basically, four of the funniest lesbians I know, and one newly acquired straight girl, come out to let the city in on the gay jokes. They know they stereotypes, they like to break them down and laugh about it at the same time. Their biggest goal with the show is to show others that they’re just like everyone else.

Their segments have a few staples like, Gay in the News, where the ladies discuss news stories that relate to LGBT issues. There’s always a Letters to Ellen, where they actually write up and email letters to Ellen Degeneres every week. (If you happen to be reading this, Ellen… or if any of you know Ellen, they haven’t gotten a response yet, and they’d truly love it!) The most popular segment, I think, is Lesbianese. They always teach terms (either made up by them or that they’ve heard elsewhere) that are double entendres or simply describe sexual acts, people, etc. For example, a “tomato,” is a lesbian. A “cucumber” is a gay man. “BHO” means “bend her over.” (So if you walk by a lesbian and she says she’d like to BHO you, you know what she means!)

A few months back I put in a request to be on the show and talk about one of the few things I have tons of knowledge of: sex toys! The request was granted, and I even got some swag, courtesy of EdenFantasys (and myself) to gift these ladies with at the show. I discussed a little on selecting toys. I explained what you can look for depending on what you enjoy sexually. I also explained a bit about caring for your toys, how you can clean and even sterilize some of you toys. Most of what I focused on was materials and what was appropriate to share if one isn’t fluid-bound to their sexual partner.

Of course, with these ladies, it doesn’t stay serious for long! The topic of harnesses was brought up, and I pointed out that you can find harnesses to fit on many body parts: hands, face, thighs… “Wait! Face?! I have to see this to believe it.” We proceeded to look up the Chin Up harness on the EdenFantasys product page. I can’t remember all the comments made by the discovery of this unique contraption, but I assure you, I got to the point where I couldn’t speak due to the side-splitting laughter! Obviously there was a display of various items you can find on EdenFantasys. There were lots of questions about what the toys were made of and how they worked. At one point, the Leo dildo, by Vixen Creations, was worn as a horn on the forehead of a host. I did get to talk about my favorite toy, the Pure Wand. It was decided that the Pure Wand could be doubled as a dumbbell. (Hey, there’s a reason I have some upper body strength… okay, I don’t have much, you just have to rock it!) We had a contest for the “Best Toy Story,” where an audience member could come up and share their best (or worst) toy stories and win an EdenFantasys tee-shirt. There were a few doosies!

It was a very memorable night with some of my favorite ladies! I’d love to go back sometime and discuss more about toys, or any other topic that can loosely be related to toys.

I never really wanted this. In fact, I wanted something so different than this that it’s crazy. It seems that neither one of us had a choice in the matter. It just happened, and everything fell into place so naturally that we ended up where we are now. We’re way too far into it to get out unscathed. It’d take a miracle for everything to wind up beautifully. We both have these ideas of how things will happen, but they’re unrealistic. They’re crazy. They don’t make any sense in the real world.

At first, it was casual and fun. There was nothing wrong with what we were doing. Just friends, right? Somehow, that boundary was crossed, and here we are. We’re invested in something we can barely afford. We’ve stretched our resources way too thin. We couldn’t help it no matter how much we tried. You fell for me, and I fell for you. It’s not right, but that’s what happened. Our love is quite complicated, but even with that, I’ll still take it as it is, because I’d rather have this and some part of you than nothing at all.

And there she is. Your wife, your girlfriend, your other half, your lover. At one point, she was everything you wanted. You vowed to spend the rest of your life with her and only her. You promised her everything. You put that ring on her finger thinking that she was the only one you’d ever want. Times changed, and here we all are. The three of us. You’re torn. You don’t know what direction to take when it comes to the two of us. You want her, you want me, and you want us both, but it looks like you’ll have to ultimately decide. Right now, it’s not looking like you can have both of us in a realistic sense, no matter how much you’d prefer it.

As the dirty little secret, I am put in the most precarious position. What if she found out about us? What if she picked up your phone one day and stumbled across all of the text messages you’ve sent me that are filled with undeniable sweetness and love? She’d be crushed. I know she would. What would you do? Would I suddenly become the villain? Would you write me off as some silly mistake? Even though you tell me you care about me and harbor this deep and intense love for me, it still doesn’t lead me to believe that you’d do otherwise. If she asked you to choose, would you? I have a sneaking suspicion that it’d be her. That’s how these things work. The other woman never gets what she wants. I keep that in mind and realize how unrealistic my expectations are that I’ll ever really end up with you being mine.

These kinds of things also put the worst thoughts into my head. I’m left wondering if you ever think of me as you’re making love to her. You tell me that I’m always on your mind, but does that apply to this? Do you look at her and wish it was me there, or am I blocked from your mind? I feel like if I knew this that my decision as to how to proceed would be so much easier. You tell me you think of me as you are falling asleep, but are you holding her during those thoughts? Do I cross your mind while you look at her? Do you feel a sense of sadness and heaviness that I’d like to imagine you do? Do you feel guilt in hiding this from her? What’s it like in your mind during the compare and contrast? Why do you feel like you need me when you have her? I want to know these things so badly, but I’m terribly afraid to ask.

And then there is this woman that you’ve been so much in love with. I never wanted to hurt her. In fact, I was fascinated by her when you first told me of your situation. Who is she? What do you see when you look at her? I’m sure she’s beautiful. I’m sure she’s absolutely amazing. From what you’ve told me, she and I could be the best of friends. I don’t see that happening now though. She’d probably wish me dead if she ever found out about us. Part of me mourns the friendship that she and I could have had. My heart goes out to her, even. I feel the most guilt over the possibility of hurting this girl I don’t even know. I know what it’s like to have a shattered heart, and I don’t wish that on anyone. Especially not someone so beautiful and captivating.

Sometimes I wonder if I can even do this with you. I have so much love for you, but I also feel so much shame and loneliness because of this. While you are going to bed with her, I am alone. You wake up with her. You eat your meals with her, all while playing the doting spouse role. You take care of her when she’s sick. Still, I am alone. I wonder if you’ve stepped up in your role as an effort to placate any suspicions she may have. Sadly, I envy all this and think of it when I am doing all of these things alone. I know you would be there with me if you could, but you can’t. I feel the weight of it all when I’m in bed falling asleep and wishing you were there, and then realizing you’re falling asleep with someone you love. Did you ever think of the way I feel in regards to these things? If you know how isolated I felt, would you still proceed with it all?

At times I want out of this. I want to be free from all of the stress and the burden of the shame, the guilt, and the negativity that people take towards me for playing this role. It’s not something I can easily talk to my friends about. I can’t tell them that I’ve met this wonderful man who is my soulmate, even though he has a wife. They all look at me as if I’m stupid because of it. There’s always something that you do that makes me stay. Your soothing words and sentiments calm all of the frenzy of uncertainty in my mind.

So, where does it go from here? Only time will tell. I doubt we’ll end up like we (or at least I) want us to. If she ever finds out and causes a frenzy, chances are you’ll stay with her and do your best to mend things. That’s the easiest way for you, right? Meanwhile, I’ll be cast aside. Part of me realizes this and is just waiting for it to happen. The other part is still stupid enough to believe that your love for me will overcome everything, and we can finally live out all of the dreams we’ve foolishly laid out. Only time will tell, and I have the nagging feeling that it won’t end up in my favor. Until then, you have me.