PolyMonogamy
Polyamory is unnatural! Monogamy is unnatural! These are the two most common arguments I hear in any debate on the topic. It’s maddening. Why should either of the two options be “wrong” or “unnatural”?
read moreEmotionally and Mentally Abusive
Emotionally and mentally abusive. That’s a string of words that I thought I would never pair together. However, it took a good friend of mine, and an hour of crying, to realize exactly what was going on.
read moreWhen Friends Become Best Friends
I ran into her with a group of friend. We didn’t talk, and all we said to each other was “Hello”, nothing more, nothing less. We only were around each other because we had the same group of friends. She, by far, was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen.
read morePrivilege of the Married
A recent survey found that marriage rates in the United States had dropped precipitously. Only 51% of Americans were married, and marriage rates are dropping similarly in other developed nations. Given how most of the benefits of marriage are conferred by the government, come from being in a happy relationship, or aren’t even...
read moreRose is the Other Woman
My name is Rose, and I am the other woman and have been for years now. Not only have I helped someone cheat, I have cheated on partners of my own to be with this person. I have warned guys upon entering a relationship with them that I will sleep with this person given the chance, but they seem to just shrug it off and not believe...
read more“Clicking” With the Wedding Photographer
Having the Right Chemistry with the Vendor You’ll Be Around More Than Your Spouse On Your Special Day The best friend you could ever have is your wedding photographer. No, really, I’m completely serious. Your wedding photographer records your day from start to finish, is crammed into small spaces with you, sees more...
read moreAnother C Word
The act of cheating is not because you don’t love someone; if that was the case, relationships got a whole lot simpler than I recall them to be.
read moreThe No-Guilt Notebook
Communication is a pretty universally accepted ingredient in a healthy relationship. Even couples who’ve been together for a long time or who know each other well sometimes have things they need to tell their partners that they’ve learned about themselves. Sometimes, though, it isn’t an easy subject to broach, especially if it’s something you haven’t fully come to terms with yourself, or something you think might make your partner uncomfortable.
read moreThe Other Woman
I never really wanted this. In fact, I wanted something so different than this that it’s crazy. It seems that neither one of us had a choice in the matter. It just happened, and everything fell into place so naturally that we ended up where we are now. We’re way too far into it to get out unscathed. It’d take a...
read moreChoosing Monogamy
I make no secret of the fact that I've been married for 31 years, and I am a strong believer in marriage. I also believe that anything can be worked through IF both partners are willing to make the marriage work.
read moreWhen the Abuser is Also Mom
Growing up in my household was no easy task; my mother was on the verbally and physically abusive side, whereas my father was on the passive side. My siblings and I learned very quickly that if we were to do something that would displease my mother, we were to lie and keep it under wraps as much as possible. There was never a...
read moreOpen and Shut
I think it’s incredibly ironic that I’ve written now several times (here and at a couple of my blogs) about how my wife and I very recently decided to embark on an open marriage in our middle age, and how the whole situation around the act has created both joy and stress in our relationship, and yet…well, after...
read moreDivorceable Offenses
People love a wedding if the fanfare surrounding the Kardashian wedding, the royal wedding, or the litany of wedding shows is any indication. As pointed out in a recent article by D.A. Wolf, the marriage, the part that extends beyond the ceremony is largely ignored by the media and even those getting married. This is why marriage...
read moreDominate is a F’in Verb
I often sit and shake my head at some of the things that get sent to me in my FetLife inbox. Dominates (yes I wrote Dominates) who want me to show them their ‘proper due’. Read attend to their every whim and want with absolute adoration while I am chained and naked, oh and soaking wet and wanting sex sex sex for no reason other...
read moreLove, Happiness, Tragedy
On November 19, 2006, Teresa called me from the hospital and said the baby was coming and that she wanted me to be by her side. I made it to the hospital late. By the time I arrived, she was holding our son Daniel. Daniel was born at 21 weeks.
read moreStill Living With the Ex
A Three’s Company Update, One Year Later A year ago I wrote an article entitled Three’s Company: Living With The Ex and The New Boyfriend and How It Works For Us. Certainly, it could be assumed that such a living situation couldn’t stay healthy for long. Rewind to when I wrote the article in September of 2010. My...
read moreSometimes Single is Best
After five years of being with the same person and having two kids with him, I am now officially, at 25 years old, a single mother. Now, I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would one day be this young, have two kids and not married to the person I had them with. I saw myself as being happy and taken care of. Life, unfortunately,...
read moreMonogamish
I recently had a discussion with my mother where she explained that one of the reasons that she is close with her older sister is because she didn’t get a lot of personal attention from her mother as a child. She grew up in a household with four kids, and mom worked, so she looked to her sister for company instead. This story...
read moreNo Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 16
Gandhi said if you want to change the world, you have to be the change. To that end, Rayne brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web.
read moreThe Perils of Open Relationships
I’ve always admired people that have open relationships. To be THAT trusting of your significant other to be honest with you and not to leave you for someone else, or to not care if they do.
read moreCan Cancer Affect a Newlywed Couple?
The tumor was removed surgically. Then my husband was recommended to see an oncologist. My husband’s skin was starting to turn yellow, and he was developing a bad odor. He was the shade of yellow that your skin turns when a bruise starts to heal.
read moreAn Engagement Story – His Perspective
I made my way back up the mountain and helped her out, and we skied the rest of the way down, to a relaxing hot tub soak, dinner, and many happy phone calls. It was a fantastic trip, a fantastic trip indeed.
read moreAn Engagement Story – Her Perspective
He'd told me that we would be having dinner one night with some friends of his family that owned a romantic bed and breakfast in Winter Park. I thought that maybe he would propose after dinner that night. Knight was going up to Winter Park first with his mother and sister. Then they were going to fly back to Austin on the same day that I flew up to Colorado, and Knight would continue his vacation with me.
read moreThe Marriage Dance: An Opinion
I don’t want to pre-plan my wedding. I don’t want to pick a season, a dress, and flowers ahead of time, because I don’t want a very long or very short engagement. I want to be flexible about everything, so that when the time comes for me to get married, I can plan a wedding with my future husband that suits us, and suits the circumstances at that time.
read morePeaks and Valleys
There are a lot of reasons to stay married. Albeit they might be stupid ones to some … but they are still reasons … nonetheless. 1) Divorce, like crack, is whack. 2) Tax breaks. 3) When you make a “death do us part” vow … I mean … it pretty much speaks for itself. We have been going through it. D and I. It has been one...
read moreSaying No
My husband was out of the house, and I was laying on the bed petting my rabbit when I learned something important about my sex life. I was petting my rabbit exactly the way he liked it, and like happy rabbits will do, he started “tooth purring” which is when they rub their teeth together to show they’re happy. The...
read moreRisky Business
These information inconsistencies are well known. My point is that there is an aspect of being owned and living this lifestyle 24/7 that nobody tells you about at first.
read moreSometimes It Just Happens
I came out to my dad this weekend. I didn’t mean to. It just sort of happened. Let’s start at the beginning. My parents split up a few years ago. I still don’t know the whole story. I got bits and pieces from the family he had before it happened at the wedding, and I get the basic gist, but it’s obvious...
read moreMorning Sex Rocks
A few months ago, we found a kitten on the side of the road. He was skin and bones and scruffy. Tall and long for his age. Hardly had a tooth to speak of in his mouth. We were barely scraping by feeding ourselves and the animals we had but he let me pick him up. I at least wanted to bring him home, give him a meal and then get him...
read moreFriends with Impediments
It seems that changing our entire sexual outlook is going to have to mean a whole new set of friends for the wife and me.
read moreGrowing Up Isn’t Easy …
… Says the (almost) 32-year-old Woman I never write about Breast Cancer Awareness. I never know what to say. I usually leave it up to more qualified writers who’ve got experience with the subject beyond just “My aunt died of a malignant brain tumor. Does that count?” I may have actually written exactly that...
read moreHow to Fight Fair
It’s no secret that arguments and disagreements arise in any relationship. It’s a totally normal and healthy thing if done right. A couple who doesn’t have the occasional dispute is living in a fantasy world. There really isn’t a possible way for both partners to automatically agree on everything, and have both of their...
read moreAll My Exes Live in Texas
Okay, only one of my exes lives in Texas. The only one who ever has any sort of influence anymore. Because we have kids. That’s the only reason. And he pretends he avoids it at all costs. It’s not his fault that him fucking up his life affects me. It’s pure circumstance. He thinks. All M’s influential exes...
read moreMoms Against Sexuality
So, for a few years there, my wife kinda went nuts. I don’t mean she had psychiatric illness or a breakdown or something. In some ways, it was worse, because for so long, there was no cure and no effective therapy. She got pregnant and decided to get into things like attachment parenting. Now, I’m not knocking the...
read moreMy Big, Beautiful, Gay Marriage
Someone should have told us to elope. Someone should have told us to choose sandy beaches over bridal bouquets; hotel rooms instead of floor length gowns. Someone should have explained that no matter what you prepare for, you will never be truly ready for the ‘big day’. It doesn’t matter how many months you have...
read moreLove’s Many Tendrils
There is a fine line, in the world we live in, between the love of a spouse and the love of nearly anything else. Whether it be for religious, societal, ethnic, or purely physical reasons, the love that one has for their legally bound partner is normally placed, depending on one’s views, directly below the love one has for...
read moreFantasy By Any Other Name Could Be A Disaster
Edenfantasys is a great many things. It’s a community, it’s a forum, and it’s a place to review, to be heard, and to learn. When it comes right down to it, though, Edenfantasys is a sex toy shop; it just has a lot more to offer than most. To me, a toy store can encompass many things. The one I want to focus on is fantasy....
read moreTrying to be the Tough Guy
I have a confession to make. Sometimes I slap my wife around. But before you start trying to figure out how to reach her to recommend women’s shelters, or try to track me down to have my kneecaps busted in (or worse), it’s not THAT kind of slapping around. I’m the reluctant tough guy—my wife bottoming from the top at times,...
read moreRelationships in Eureka Rock! (Spoilers)
… Despite all the story-line-changing catastrophes. So there’s this show on SyFy called Eureka. By the end of the very first minute of the very first episode, I was hooked. The cast is amazing. The story line intrigues, grabs your attention, makes you laugh, puts you in suspense, educates. And it’s being cancelled...
read moreBeing a Swinger
Being a swinger in a long term relationship means everything you thought, and a lot you probably didn’t. Miguel and I started swinging very early in our relationship. I never knew that swinging was a way to have a healthy relationship. I never would have guessed that swingers even still existed. Aren’t they extinct? I don’t...
read moreOpen Marriage Rules
When I tell people that I have an open marriage, or when there is a discussion about open marriage that I have the honor to be a part of, one of the first questions is always about the rules we designate. Unfortunately, they’re different for everyone, so I always suggest that people come up with their own. People often just...
read moreShame and Redemption
I was raised by conservative parents, so of course, I was going to save myself for marriage. I was quite sure of that, right up until the night in college that I found myself in a car with a man, making out. He was a few years older than me, and definitely more experienced, but there was something kind of goofy about the way he...
read more“Opening Day” for Sexual Liberation
What a difference a day makes. One day almost spelled the end of my marriage. One day not only saved it but reawakened the passion and increased the potential of the relationship. My wife and I have had some bad patches at times, usually resulting from monetary woes in some shape or form, and certainly there have been times I’ve...
read moreSexless BDSM Relationship
I have recently found myself single after being married for four years. It wasn’t easy to jump back into the dating scene, especially after a breakup that should have never happened, but about a year ago, I was in that boat. I quickly got my profile on dating sites to try and get my confidence high enough that I didn’t hate...
read moreOpen Marriage… What’s That?
There’s a National Coming Out Day to celebrate all of those who have come out and been open and honest about their sexuality preferences. I love that they have a day for this. It occurred to me while discussing this day on my Facebook account, that in this day and age there are so many different relationship types. Many people...
read moreMonogamy Plus: Redefining What a Relationship Means
A few weeks ago, Mark Oppenheimer wrote a piece for the New York Times that discussed the Congressman Weiner scandal, and what it says about the state of “marriage” in contemporary society. Oppenheimer’s wife was asked by him which was worse, knowing her spouse had an affair, or him tweeting photos like Weiner’s...
read moreThe Classic One Night Stand
I go to the same old bar I normally frequent. I’m not out looking for anything specifically, but I’m open to the possibilities. I made sure to wear some of my best underwear just in case, and to smell of flowers and pretty girl things. I walk inside, grab a drink, and take a seat where I can observe the bar patrons. I finish...
read moreForced Intimacy: Good or Bad
I’m of the opinion that all sex is good, as long as it’s safe and legal. But lately I’ve been hearing stories from my friends who are either married or in long-term partnerships talking about doing it when they don’t want to, or forcing it. One such story comes from a friend of mine who is fairly young and...
read moreFriends with Benefits: How Does THAT Work?
My straight friends have either been married, are married, or might as well be married. Nearly all of them. I’m single. I’m always single. A few weeks ago, Dan Savage of Savage Love fame, was on Bill Maher and made an interesting comment in passing about relationships. They had a lot of conversations about sex, love and...
read moreWe’re In it For the Long Haul
The Hubby and I have been married for over six years now, together for eight and a half. I love him dearly, but marriage isn’t always easy. It’s definitely something we have to work at. Our physical relationship is no different. I’m not saying that, even though I call it work, it’s something I hate. I don’t always enjoy...
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