The Boob Blog | Eden Cafe

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair:If Boobs Ruled the World

11. November 2009

By Gazonga Gal For the most part, modern society—from West to East, North to South, and culture to culture, whether defined by church or temple or mosque—is a functioning patriarchy. Current world leaders divine our future with the logic of the lizard brained little head, and form policy based on the wisdom of the testicles, [...]

Of Moobs and Men

4. November 2009

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By Gazonga Gal Some men are born boobs, some men achieve boobness, and some, like actor Jeremy Piven, have boobness thrust upon them—in his case, a nefarious side effect of overindulging in, of all things, soymilk! JJust when you thought that there wasn’t another reason to distrust tofu, along comes evidence that for certain males, [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: Tits and Asinine

28. October 2009

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By Gazonga Gal To quote Felix Unger as portrayed by Tony Randall on the TV version of Neil Simon’s The Odd Couple, “Never assume because when you do, you make an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ and ‘me.’ ” And as persnickety, annoying and perpetually anal as that character may have been, in this instance, he happened [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded: Pair Minimize, Me?

21. October 2009

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By Gazonga Gal Back in the ’50s, huge hooters were so much in fashion that those who had hefty headlights were placed on a lofty pedestal of amatory desire, while those with less or little were left to the sad charade of bosom stuffing or the folly of brassieres with enough built-in padding to keep [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: Gravity’s Rainboob, or Heading South

14. October 2009

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By Gazonga Gal “Perky!” Now there’s a word. I hear it in my mind calf-roped by the thick Midwestern accent of my youth. Indeed, as brisk winds signal a change in seasons and fall descends, like exhaled breath and errant deer along the shoulder of a misty highway, while the echo of Frances McDormand rendering [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: If These Boobs Could Talk

7. October 2009

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By Gazonga Gal Sometimes, mostly late at night, I imagine that Mutt and Jeff have tiny minds, and tiny high-pitched voices of their own. I don’t think they mean for me to hear their whispered conversations, punctuated by the occasional snort or nipple giggle. And as much as I wish I could report that their [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair Prognosis in a “C” Cup

30. September 2009

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By Gazonga Gal Normally, I try to keep my posts from veering into darker territory. After all, boobs, by their very nature, bring a smile to the lips and a twinkle to the eye. However, as October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I feel I would be derelict in my duties as spokeswoman for [...]

Small-breasted Pride: Sweet Success

30. September 2009

4 Comments

What helped me get out of the Dark Tunnel of Doom? ‘Fessing up. Talking about my small boobs. Looking at them. Making my small boobs a reality. Instead of being something I was ashamed of, something that owned me, I slowly began thinking about that part of myself as a neutral characteristic instead of a [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: A Boob by Any Other Name

23. September 2009

3 Comments

By Gazonga Gal Boobs. Jugs. Rack. Sweater cows. Sweatermeat. Melons. Hooters. Bosom(s). Breasts. Chesticles. Breasticles. Tits. Titties. Tay-tahs. Gazongas. Bazongas. Funbags. Balloons. Traffic cones. Tetons. Torpedoes. Snuggle puppies. The girls. Cantaloupes. Cans. Boulders. Knockers. Yabbos. Mulligans. Airbags. Bronskis. Bra stuffers. Butterballs. Marimbas. The Devil’s Dumplings. In the course of my tenure as a card-carrying member [...]

Small-breasted Pride: Through the Dark Tunnel

23. September 2009

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A little recap: I was quite disappointed with my A-cups when I got them. In middle school, I was certainly in the Dark Tunnel of Small-breasted Doom. Despite my efforts to focus on other things besides my chest, I still felt inadequate… Once I started high school, I wasn’t as concerned with my boobs in [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: The Breast Laid Plans

16. September 2009

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By Gazonga Gal “Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.” Of course, William Butler Yeats was not referring to wardrobe malfunctions when he wrote that, but he might as well have been. When Janet Jackson unintentionally flashed boob during the 2004 Super Bowl, the FCC fined CBS Television [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: Arrested Development

9. September 2009

2 Comments

By Gazonga Gal Last Sunday, I was talking with my pop, getting the weekly update on the West Coast branch of the family (Dad, his wife, and my twin half-sisters who are 10), when he opined that one of the girls was already in a training bra. It was more of a “Where does the [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: Big Boobs, Little People… and Macy’s

2. September 2009

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by Gazonga Gal Yesterday, I was surfing the Net, looking for a topical subject on which to DDDesclaim, or perhaps DDDescant, when I happened upon this meaty, not so little item: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/04/worlds-biggest-breasts-sh_n_163992.html , and I thought to myself, Yowsa! That chick looks like a freakin’ float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! Shuddering with a [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: The Top 10 Most Moronic Remarks I’ve Heard About Big Breasts

26. August 2009

4 Comments

By Gagonza Gal One thing I’ve noticed in my “career” as a big-boobed woman is that the sight of hooters, especially those of ample volume, sometimes transform men who might otherwise exercise circumspection and restraint in social situations into knuckle-dragging, insult blurting cretins. (I think there is actually an algebraic equation somewhere that defines the [...]

DDDiary of a Loaded Pair: Whose Boob is It, Anyway?

19. August 2009

11 Comments

by Gozonga Gal I will confess that while I’ve got a vast amount of first-hand experience with big breasts from which to cull my weekly meanderings, I am fairly new to blogging. Yup. A blog virgin. I admit it. So, I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to actually get a few responses to [...]